Never goona be the same
Wow what a difference a few days make. I will start at the begginging. I was at work on Thursday and I was complaining to Amy (my co worker) about my love life like usual when this guy we know comes in with this REALLY cute guy. We start flirting, but I had to ring someone up and when I was done they were gone. So Amy text messgaes Adam( The guy we knew) and said I thought his friend was cute. So Ryan( the guy) came down and got my number. Flash forward to friday. I am out with Megan and he calls to see if I wanted to go out so he went and saw Fever Pitch with us (I am so in love with Jimmy fallon it isn't even funny. Seriously my crush like grew) Ryan was sweet and put up with my gushing over Jimmy Fallon and held my hand. He was respectful and kissed me goodnight. I worked Saturday morning and he called me as soon as I got off work to make plans for that night. I met up with him and Adam after Megan and I got dinner. She didn't feel good so I took her home and Ryan, Adam and I went back to Adam's to drink and go in the hot tub. Adam gets REALLY drunk and starts booty calling people. He tells us some fat chick is coming over and how he banged her the first night he met her. He was too drunk to answer the door so i had to let her in and get her clothes to wear in the hot tub. She was bitchy to me so we went outside and Adam was saying things to her like "Wanna titty fuck?" and other sexual things. It was weird becasue normallu I am the booty call and I am there with the dude and his best friend and the best friends snooty girlfriend and this time I was the snooty girlfriend. So we all go inside and Ryan and I are cuddling on the floor( innocently) and the two of them leave the bedroom and go into the bathroom. Then she left and Adam comes out and tells us "We had anal and she shit all over my dick." He was serious too. And I got to be all like " Ew she doesn't respect herself." It was so nice not to be that girl. Then I had to leave so Ryan walked me out to my car and he saw my BROKEN Courtney Love cd and he asked what happened and I told him my friend stepped on it and broke it. So the next day I am at work and I just opened the store and my mom walks in to return something and I see Ryan come in. He introduces himself to my mom and she leaves and he tells me he has something for me. HE BOUGHT ME THE CD!!!!! AND he brought me breakfast because he wasn't sure if I had had time to eat. That is the SWEETEST thing ANYONE has EVER done for me! And he is taking me out tonight and he calls when he says he will. He is super cute and has a mustang and works at wells fargo. No baggage no kids. My mom loves him and so does everyone else. It is seriously like God is saying "Ok Sara I am sick of your bitching here is a great guy. Don't fuck this one up" He likes me for me. Not because he wants to have sex with me. He cares about me. Not like the rest of you( By you I mean ex's) So I am going to try this. No cheating. I am not going to talk to my ex's anymore( cough cough Jimbo). He is seriously the only good guy in my life that isn't gay. The rest are users. I won't be a booty call anymore. I am too good for that and any of you that can't see that are assholes who deserve to be alone.
I emailed Jimmy. This is what I got back
Well it is crazy because I have thought about you a lot lately. Pretty much the same things that you stated, when something funny happens, when I am worried or just to say hi. I know that you were true to me, I want you to know that I was the same to you. I have not found someone else, it is kinda' hard to when one is out in the middle of the ocean.
Well I did not mean to hurt you in any way. I think that it was moving too fast and I didn't know how to slow it down. You were not dispensable to me what so ever. I loved you so much then and I still feel the same way. I always will. You will always be special to me no matter what. You and I had something special and great. I just needed some time to sort a lot of things out. I am coming up on my end of service and I need to save some money and get my self out of what little debt that I am in. I know for me, it would have been too hard to keep you out there and have my life be between. I could not support you and the life that you wanted, and still want. I know that and you brought that even more to my attention when we last spoke. I opened up my eyes chica.
I don't know where I am going with this. I just want you to know that I still love you and I wish all of the best for you. I know that anything that you set your mind to will get done. You are and awesome girl. I love you still.
jimmy
That is the best response I could have gotten, but it still tore me up. But it is done. We can't do it and I have a life here i need to live. I need to work on me. I just hope I can let go and really let Ryan in. I want to make this one right. For once.
I emailed Jimmy. This is what I got back
Well it is crazy because I have thought about you a lot lately. Pretty much the same things that you stated, when something funny happens, when I am worried or just to say hi. I know that you were true to me, I want you to know that I was the same to you. I have not found someone else, it is kinda' hard to when one is out in the middle of the ocean.
Well I did not mean to hurt you in any way. I think that it was moving too fast and I didn't know how to slow it down. You were not dispensable to me what so ever. I loved you so much then and I still feel the same way. I always will. You will always be special to me no matter what. You and I had something special and great. I just needed some time to sort a lot of things out. I am coming up on my end of service and I need to save some money and get my self out of what little debt that I am in. I know for me, it would have been too hard to keep you out there and have my life be between. I could not support you and the life that you wanted, and still want. I know that and you brought that even more to my attention when we last spoke. I opened up my eyes chica.
I don't know where I am going with this. I just want you to know that I still love you and I wish all of the best for you. I know that anything that you set your mind to will get done. You are and awesome girl. I love you still.
jimmy
That is the best response I could have gotten, but it still tore me up. But it is done. We can't do it and I have a life here i need to live. I need to work on me. I just hope I can let go and really let Ryan in. I want to make this one right. For once.