The Phases of Age
Isn't it special when a truth flies into your mind with crystal clarity and then bops you upside the head? Yeah, I know the name. That's not the point.
I observed a young mother and her toddler. Mom teaches by example, instruction, hugs, praise, and love. The toddler looks up to her, follows her, tries to comprehend and implement. She is his world.
I considered a middle-aged man and his young son. Dad instinctively uses similar methods to help the boy learn. The older child is able to understand faster than the toddler, and his body is more geared toward performing more complex tasks. The boy is now a help to his parent, even though he's continually learning.
I thought of an old woman and her adult daughter. Or son. As time passed and the child grew and mastered things being taught, the parent aged and her body grew frailer. Now, this is assuming the woman's mind was intact. Now the child has the the ability to assist his or her parent with a task. In that way, the roles begin to reverse.
And what if the parent's mind becomes fragile, feeble as his or her body aged? Then the roles truly reverse.
We get older and weaker. We cannot go and do as we once could. But if we let love guide us as we taught our children, their love will provide any assistance we may need.
My Love is from Guam, a Chammaro. Their culture would never tolerate anything resembling a nursing home. Grandma lives independently whenever possible -- most often, unlike the continental USA. Mother rules her home, as mothers do. From the time the children are able to perform simple tasks, it is their responsibility to do chores and perform tasks for Grandma, not just Mom. In fact, Grandma first, then Mom. When Mom has guests, for example, she sits and visits while the hildren cater. I think it's a practical solution.
When Gram can't live independently, she is always treated as an honored guest. She is not assigned tasks. Those she performs are done of her own volition. She is thanked. And the children still respond to her needs as if she lived elsewhere.
It seems to me this attitude of the Chammaro of Guam completes the circle of Family beautifully. I just haven't explained it well. I would be hard for me to have my mother living in my home now that I'm grown and married. I think it would be hard for her too. So I love the concept of a mother-in-law's cottage on the property. Of course, Mama is gone. But I still love the idea.
I think about my future and wonder. I'm where there are nursing homes and retirement homes in abundance. I shiver to think of living in one. But I know it would be difficult for my daughter and my son, were I to live with either of them. I do know that the recent display of their unconditional love is a precious thing. And I don't want to ruin it by living with them now that they have their own lives. So I wonder.
How about you? Do you have a plan? What is it? Does it leave room for your children and other family members to shower you with an outpouring of love? Just wondering.
In the meantime, I'm working NaNoWriMo this month and also working on my WIP.
I observed a young mother and her toddler. Mom teaches by example, instruction, hugs, praise, and love. The toddler looks up to her, follows her, tries to comprehend and implement. She is his world.
I considered a middle-aged man and his young son. Dad instinctively uses similar methods to help the boy learn. The older child is able to understand faster than the toddler, and his body is more geared toward performing more complex tasks. The boy is now a help to his parent, even though he's continually learning.
I thought of an old woman and her adult daughter. Or son. As time passed and the child grew and mastered things being taught, the parent aged and her body grew frailer. Now, this is assuming the woman's mind was intact. Now the child has the the ability to assist his or her parent with a task. In that way, the roles begin to reverse.
And what if the parent's mind becomes fragile, feeble as his or her body aged? Then the roles truly reverse.
We get older and weaker. We cannot go and do as we once could. But if we let love guide us as we taught our children, their love will provide any assistance we may need.
My Love is from Guam, a Chammaro. Their culture would never tolerate anything resembling a nursing home. Grandma lives independently whenever possible -- most often, unlike the continental USA. Mother rules her home, as mothers do. From the time the children are able to perform simple tasks, it is their responsibility to do chores and perform tasks for Grandma, not just Mom. In fact, Grandma first, then Mom. When Mom has guests, for example, she sits and visits while the hildren cater. I think it's a practical solution.
When Gram can't live independently, she is always treated as an honored guest. She is not assigned tasks. Those she performs are done of her own volition. She is thanked. And the children still respond to her needs as if she lived elsewhere.
It seems to me this attitude of the Chammaro of Guam completes the circle of Family beautifully. I just haven't explained it well. I would be hard for me to have my mother living in my home now that I'm grown and married. I think it would be hard for her too. So I love the concept of a mother-in-law's cottage on the property. Of course, Mama is gone. But I still love the idea.
I think about my future and wonder. I'm where there are nursing homes and retirement homes in abundance. I shiver to think of living in one. But I know it would be difficult for my daughter and my son, were I to live with either of them. I do know that the recent display of their unconditional love is a precious thing. And I don't want to ruin it by living with them now that they have their own lives. So I wonder.
How about you? Do you have a plan? What is it? Does it leave room for your children and other family members to shower you with an outpouring of love? Just wondering.
In the meantime, I'm working NaNoWriMo this month and also working on my WIP.