Post of Canadian Idol-ness
It’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these, isn’t it? And now, not liable to again. I was feeling rather wistful about the whole situation - the way you do, when you hear the fate of a friend long past - until I happened to catch judge Zack Werner’s reaction. Something about how bitterly ironic it was that the show was being canned as too expensive, when it’s in just this sort of economy that kids need dreams to hold onto.
Er, yeah, Zack. Not to worry; they can always still aspire to be contestants on Don’t Forget the Hits! And there, they’ve a chance to be paid real money.
Anyway, I dragged out my old home-made ‘Best of CI2’ CD as part of the total music overhaul, inspired by Brian Melo’s version of Karma Police from CI5. It’s worth a download, mostly; Melo’s rock voice sounds authentic, and I was heartened to learn that he and the bubblegum factory have since parted ways.
As for CI2…oy. Remember I said I wasn’t particularly embarrassed by my past musical choices? Well, I lied. Shorn of the excitement of the moment, Teh Greatest CI Season Evah comes off, largely, as…how do I put this? Like you thought you were watching American TV, and it turns out it was Canadian all along.
Mind, this does have the effect of throwing the glimmers of real professionalism into high relief:
Top 32:
What I preserved - Kalan (Lady), Theresa (Summertime), Kaleb (Water Runs Dry)
What I'd keep now - None of the above. These are three canny kids showing off their vocal tricks for the voters; that's all. Kaleb probably gives the closest thing to an actual performance.
Top 10:
What I preserved- Kalan (Born to Be Wild), Theresa (Good Mother), Elena (Mary Jane)
What I'd keep now - Theresa. No idea how I put up with Elena's shouting for even this long, anymore. Meanwhile, Kalan's developed a serious case of Johnson novelty syndrome: it's not so much that he's performing well, as that he's performing it at all.
Top 9:
What I preserved- Jacob (Space Oddity), Kalan (House of the Rising Sun)
What I'd keep now - Both, unreservedly. They are collectively the reason us Canucks were all "Our Idol is better than yours, nyahhh!" at AI all season. (Although I do wish Kalan would just record the damn song already so I can get a version clear of all the SCREEM!s.)
Top 8:
What I preserved - Kalan (Paint it Black), Kaleb (Hound Dog), the Rock medley
What I'd keep now - Kaleb's, interestingly intuitive. Kalan...look, no man deserves to be immortalised while wearing liquid eyeliner. And the medley, barring a yeah-you-better-not-screw-this-up-boys We Will Rock You, is just completely...well, let's put it this way: What High School Musical would sound like in real life.
Top 7:
What I preserved- Jacob (Brick House), Kalan (Still), Theresa (Hello)
What I'd keep now - Kalan and Theresa, both of whom pay Lionel Richie the delicate compliment of interpreting his intentions, not his actual performances. Jacob's...yeah, the original's still available. Next!
Top 6:
What I preserved - Shane (The Way I Feel), the Canadian Railroad Trilogy
What I'd keep now - Sorry, Shane-bot, you're way out of warranty. OTOH, the Gordon Lightfoot trilogy, featuring all six on their own instruments, earnestness sparking off inventiveness, is still as lovely as ever. Kalan is so completely comfortable with a violin in his hands he actually forgets the melisma for a bit...sort of.
Top 5:
What I preserved - Theresa (Cruisin')
What I'd keep now - How dreadful was this night? Theresa wins hands-down by not screwing up a MOR ballad. With daisy accessories, unfortunately not audible. Pass.
Top 4:
What I preserved - Kalan (Moon River, The Way You Look Tonight), Theresa (Paper Moon)
What I'd keep now - Kalan's Moon River, which is not among his definitive performances only because people could hear the other ones a lot better. The others - again, at this point I'm not interested in rewarding Not Screwing Up.
Top 3:
What I preserved - Kalan (Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For), Theresa (Ready For Love), Kalan (Nature Boy), Kalan, Theresa & Jacob (In Your Eyes)
What I'd keep now - Definitely the Peter Gabriel trio, each one's part so perfectly keyed to their individuality the effect of the whole is crystalline. And Nature Boy is still the hilight of this season, mature richness and sensitivity glowing off the ancient mp3.
Finale:
What I preserved - Canadian Hits medley, Share the Land, the Top Two duet (True Colours)
What I'd keep now -The duet. Let's just recap for the slow class, here: Canadian Hits medley.
Any further questions? Clik the 'Joe Dwarf & Shoebox' link to your left and have at it.
Er, yeah, Zack. Not to worry; they can always still aspire to be contestants on Don’t Forget the Hits! And there, they’ve a chance to be paid real money.
Anyway, I dragged out my old home-made ‘Best of CI2’ CD as part of the total music overhaul, inspired by Brian Melo’s version of Karma Police from CI5. It’s worth a download, mostly; Melo’s rock voice sounds authentic, and I was heartened to learn that he and the bubblegum factory have since parted ways.
As for CI2…oy. Remember I said I wasn’t particularly embarrassed by my past musical choices? Well, I lied. Shorn of the excitement of the moment, Teh Greatest CI Season Evah comes off, largely, as…how do I put this? Like you thought you were watching American TV, and it turns out it was Canadian all along.
Mind, this does have the effect of throwing the glimmers of real professionalism into high relief:
Top 32:
What I preserved - Kalan (Lady), Theresa (Summertime), Kaleb (Water Runs Dry)
What I'd keep now - None of the above. These are three canny kids showing off their vocal tricks for the voters; that's all. Kaleb probably gives the closest thing to an actual performance.
Top 10:
What I preserved- Kalan (Born to Be Wild), Theresa (Good Mother), Elena (Mary Jane)
What I'd keep now - Theresa. No idea how I put up with Elena's shouting for even this long, anymore. Meanwhile, Kalan's developed a serious case of Johnson novelty syndrome: it's not so much that he's performing well, as that he's performing it at all.
Top 9:
What I preserved- Jacob (Space Oddity), Kalan (House of the Rising Sun)
What I'd keep now - Both, unreservedly. They are collectively the reason us Canucks were all "Our Idol is better than yours, nyahhh!" at AI all season. (Although I do wish Kalan would just record the damn song already so I can get a version clear of all the SCREEM!s.)
Top 8:
What I preserved - Kalan (Paint it Black), Kaleb (Hound Dog), the Rock medley
What I'd keep now - Kaleb's, interestingly intuitive. Kalan...look, no man deserves to be immortalised while wearing liquid eyeliner. And the medley, barring a yeah-you-better-not-screw-this-up-boys We Will Rock You, is just completely...well, let's put it this way: What High School Musical would sound like in real life.
Top 7:
What I preserved- Jacob (Brick House), Kalan (Still), Theresa (Hello)
What I'd keep now - Kalan and Theresa, both of whom pay Lionel Richie the delicate compliment of interpreting his intentions, not his actual performances. Jacob's...yeah, the original's still available. Next!
Top 6:
What I preserved - Shane (The Way I Feel), the Canadian Railroad Trilogy
What I'd keep now - Sorry, Shane-bot, you're way out of warranty. OTOH, the Gordon Lightfoot trilogy, featuring all six on their own instruments, earnestness sparking off inventiveness, is still as lovely as ever. Kalan is so completely comfortable with a violin in his hands he actually forgets the melisma for a bit...sort of.
Top 5:
What I preserved - Theresa (Cruisin')
What I'd keep now - How dreadful was this night? Theresa wins hands-down by not screwing up a MOR ballad. With daisy accessories, unfortunately not audible. Pass.
Top 4:
What I preserved - Kalan (Moon River, The Way You Look Tonight), Theresa (Paper Moon)
What I'd keep now - Kalan's Moon River, which is not among his definitive performances only because people could hear the other ones a lot better. The others - again, at this point I'm not interested in rewarding Not Screwing Up.
Top 3:
What I preserved - Kalan (Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For), Theresa (Ready For Love), Kalan (Nature Boy), Kalan, Theresa & Jacob (In Your Eyes)
What I'd keep now - Definitely the Peter Gabriel trio, each one's part so perfectly keyed to their individuality the effect of the whole is crystalline. And Nature Boy is still the hilight of this season, mature richness and sensitivity glowing off the ancient mp3.
Finale:
What I preserved - Canadian Hits medley, Share the Land, the Top Two duet (True Colours)
What I'd keep now -The duet. Let's just recap for the slow class, here: Canadian Hits medley.
Any further questions? Clik the 'Joe Dwarf & Shoebox' link to your left and have at it.