Thinspiration?
I cannot stop thinking that I am fat. Every time I look into the mirror I feel disgusted to the core. My stomach bulges out like it is pregnant. My thighs has cellulite and the thing surrounding the bones trembles when I move them. My arms are like my wings. The thing weighing down on the arm flaps and they're gross. Not forgetting.. My face. It looks like a ball, literally. & then there's the sagging double-chin. Conclusion: I'm ugly because I am fat & disgusting.
I'm not anorexic and I'm not bulimic. I don't have an eating disorder and that is because I can never stand not eating at the sight of food. I am greedy and I pig out alot. 'Nuff said. The word PIG is sufficient explanation. Gross, but I am that.
Don't try to tell me that I am not fat because I know I am. No amount of persuasion would change this thinking that I have. It is engraved into my mind, which is driving me mad because every time I want to eat, and I look into the mirror, I become guilty. But I want to eat! I am not proud of my restrains cause I am in pain whenever I stop myself from eating, then I'll eventually end up eating, and worse, eating more than I intended!
I am FAT you know! )8 Really FAT!
I don't want to go out anymore. I don't want to meet people because they will laugh at me and my fats. They will tell me that I'm ugly and that I should lose some weight. They will put food in front of me to tease my eyes and mind then take them away from me when I reach out to eat them. They will all LAUGH at me.
I was determined to lose weight, but I never had the perserverance. I need a coach. I am desperate. Somebody help!