Top Gear, James / Jeremy, NC-17
Title: Stelvio Pass
Pairing: James May / Jeremy Clarkson
Warnings: Explicit sexual content
Author: blacktofade
Rating: NC-17
A/N: This was written for cenea's Unexpected Naked James May challenge on tg_crack. This has not been beta'd, so feel free to point out mistakes/offer concrit.
Word Count: 1662
Disclaimer: I am not associated with Top Gear or any of its affiliates. I don't mean any harm, this is all made up.
“Jeremy,” Richard said into his walkie-talkie, “have you seen James?”
There was a slight pause before Jeremy answered.
“Isn’t he behind you?”
“No, mate,” Richard answered.
They both paused, hoping that James would hear their exchange and butt in. Only the faint crackle of static came through the line, but just as they both reached to call James, a voice spoke up.
“I’m catching you both up, just had to make a slight, er, stop,” James said.
Both Jeremy and Richard let out small sighs of relief, as it was clear that James hadn’t managed to drive himself and his Aston off the Stelvio pass. There was another pause before Richard spoke again.
“We’re going to wait at the bottom of the hill, so we can let the cars cool off together, okay?”
A small mumble, that might have been a positive reply, made its way through the small radio devices and both Jeremy and Richard slowed as the rounded the last hairpin bend at the bottom.
Richard spotted him first, and had to do a double take to make sure he was seeing correctly. Very unexpectedly, James seemed to be driving towards them, wearing nothing but a contented smile. The same James that objected to running on television let alone driving in the nude. James pulled up alongside Richard’s stationary Porsche and began pouring bottled water over his chest. Richard, his jaw almost resting on the floor, finally picked up the walkie-talkie and spoke into it while keeping his eyes trained on James.
“James? What on Earth are you doing?” he asked, his astonishment plain to hear, even through the plastic machine.
Before James could answer, Jeremy spoke up.
“What’s he doing? I can’t see,” he said, his curiosity, once again, getting the better of him.
“Are you wearing any clothes, James?” Richard asked.
“It’s quite hot,” was James’ only response.
“May’s naked?” Jeremy shouted, a hint of amusement evident.
James ignored him.
“Admit it, May, the Aston’s rubbish,” Jeremy gloated.
“It’s got nothing to do with the car; it’s the horrible Italian weather,”
Without waiting for a response, James manoeuvred out of his car and piled his clothing on the bonnet. The other two presenters wasted no time in jumping out of their own vehicles, doubled over in laughter.
“You were actually completely naked. With the concrete-soft suspension your car has, I’m surprised your bollocks are still intact,”
James smiled sarcastically at Jeremy and slowly slid his pants on. He couldn’t help but notice Jeremy’s eyes flicker downwards and then trail slowly back up his chest. He ignored the prickling feeling on the back of his neck as he tried to hide the small smile on his face, and pulled his trousers up. He slipped into his shirt, tucked the ends in, and then buckled his belt with a flourish.
“I say we finish this brilliant day with a nice cold pint or two and some pasta,” Jeremy suggested, walking back over towards his Lamborghini.
By the time James had finished pulling his shoes on, the other two were back in their cars and starting their engines.
“Come on, May!” Jeremy shouted out the window of his Lamborghini.
James sighed, rubbed his sore bum surreptitiously, and slid into the driver’s seat.
Together, they sped off down the road, back in the direction of civilisation.
- - -
A great deal of cooling down and alcohol consuming later, James ended up in a very comfortable queen sized bed, replaying Jeremy’s glance repeatedly in his mind.
If he told the truth (which he wouldn’t), he only agreed to do the nude scene just to see the other two presenters’ reactions (namely Jeremy), and he’d got the perfect result. He knew Jeremy must have thought of it at least once since they’d arrived back at their hotel, as he’d caught Jeremy staring at his crotch more times than he could count on both his fingers and toes combined. He had cleared his throat and raised his eyebrow at Jeremy more than once, but after only a few moments, Jeremy’s eyes had once again roved back down. He’d given up after a while.
He didn’t know if he was surprised or not, when there was a gentle knock on his door. It was so gentle, he was almost sure the person knocking didn’t want him to hear, as though they couldn’t believe they were actually knocking in the first place.
He slipped out of the bed and walked towards the door, where he switched the light on.
James gazed into the spy-hole and found Jeremy on the other side, biting his lip and peering down the hallway. He was probably hoping that none of the crew would show up. James pushed his shoulders back, hoping to at least appear strong, unlatched the door, and pulled it open.
“Clarkson,” he stated coolly.
When Jeremy didn’t reply he opened the door wider and stepped aside to let him in the room. Jeremy didn’t need to be told, he walked past James, brushing softly against his arm as he did so, and stood by the window that overlooked the roof of the car park. It was too dark to make out any details. His breath fogged up the glass, but before he would wipe it away, James had gripped his wrist. Jeremy hadn’t even heard the door close, or, as he turned and glanced over James’ shoulder, heard the locks click tightly into place.
Inches away with no clue what to say, all Jeremy could do was turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.
James let go of Jeremy’s wrist and took a step back as he noticed the uncertainty in his eyes. Jeremy took a step forward to close the gap and grabbed James’ wrist, mirroring what James had done before.
The uncertainty was still there, but a hint of want and control lingered in the darkness of Jeremy’s pupils.
James took another step back and Jeremy once again closed the space. Their dance continued until James’ back hit the door with a dull thud and he swallowed, keeping his head held high.
Jeremy slowly brought James’ captured wrist above his head and pinned it to the door. He did the same with James’ other wrist and loomed over him.
Nothing was said as Jeremy pressed himself flush against James’ front and still nothing was said as Jeremy dipped his head down to brush his lips over James’ own.
When James’ brain finally caught up with the situation, he opened his mouth against Jeremy’s assault and slipped his tongue into Jeremy’s mouth. It was everything, yet at the same time, nothing like what he expected. He could feel every inch of Jeremy’s body, but he wanted more. He want to bring his hands down and tangle his fingers in Jeremy’s hair. He wanted to press a warm palm against the cool fabric of Jeremy’s jeans and rub him into oblivion. He wanted to create an ecstasy neither would forget, nor want to forget.
With his hands still pinned above his head, he could do nothing, but grind slowly against Jeremy’s body and match the rhythm with his mouth. It wasn’t long before Jeremy was grinding back and James could feel his excitement pressing into his thigh. Jeremy made the mistake of letting go of one of James’ wrists and James broke their kiss without notice. Before he could do anything to stop him, James, still pressed full against his front, forced Jeremy to walk quickly backwards. Jeremy’s back hit the wall beside the bed with a loud whack and as his hand shot out to steady them, he accidentally knocked the lamp off the bedside cabinet, sending it toppling to the floor. The loud crash jolted them both into the present and there was a loud banging on the wall as the other room’s occupant (Richard) let them know they were being obnoxiously loud.
Their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room and their eyes met.
James swallowed, and making sure to keep eye contact, sank to his knees in front of Jeremy. Jeremy almost came at the sight.
With nimble fingers, James unbuttoned Jeremy’s jean and then slowly pulled the zipper down. He slipped his thumbs under the waistband of both Jeremy’s jeans and pants, and dragged them down until they rested at Jeremy’s ankles.
A smirk reached his mouth, in a look Jeremy had never seen before, and he gripped Jeremy’s cock with one hand. He teased the end of Jeremy’s erection with his tongue until Jeremy was scraping his nails on the wall to find purchase, and when he found none, slipped his fingers into James’ long hair.
James stopped messing about and took the head of Jeremy’s cock into his warm mouth. Jeremy moaned softly and tipped his head back against the wall. He tilted his head to one side so it rested on his shoulder and he could still keep eye contact with James.
“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, May?” Jeremy ground out his voice deep and rough with lust.
James just took more of Jeremy into his mouth and grinned gently around him.
When James’ sinful tongue ran along the underside of his erection, he felt his knees weaken and his pulse increase.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off James’ slowly bobbing head and not once, since he’d started, had James looked away. When James brought one hand up to gently fondle Jeremy’s balls, Jeremy couldn't stop his orgasm.
His fingers tightened their hold on James’ hair, and he came into James’ mouth with a sharp cry.
James didn’t stop sucking until every last drop was gone.
As Jeremy tried to catch his breath, James replaced Jeremy’s clothes into their original state.
James couldn’t help but smile at the thought that they’d found more than just the best driving road in Europe. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up. Much much more, he concluded.
- - -
Pairing: James May / Jeremy Clarkson
Warnings: Explicit sexual content
Author: blacktofade
Rating: NC-17
A/N: This was written for cenea's Unexpected Naked James May challenge on tg_crack. This has not been beta'd, so feel free to point out mistakes/offer concrit.
Word Count: 1662
Disclaimer: I am not associated with Top Gear or any of its affiliates. I don't mean any harm, this is all made up.
“Jeremy,” Richard said into his walkie-talkie, “have you seen James?”
There was a slight pause before Jeremy answered.
“Isn’t he behind you?”
“No, mate,” Richard answered.
They both paused, hoping that James would hear their exchange and butt in. Only the faint crackle of static came through the line, but just as they both reached to call James, a voice spoke up.
“I’m catching you both up, just had to make a slight, er, stop,” James said.
Both Jeremy and Richard let out small sighs of relief, as it was clear that James hadn’t managed to drive himself and his Aston off the Stelvio pass. There was another pause before Richard spoke again.
“We’re going to wait at the bottom of the hill, so we can let the cars cool off together, okay?”
A small mumble, that might have been a positive reply, made its way through the small radio devices and both Jeremy and Richard slowed as the rounded the last hairpin bend at the bottom.
Richard spotted him first, and had to do a double take to make sure he was seeing correctly. Very unexpectedly, James seemed to be driving towards them, wearing nothing but a contented smile. The same James that objected to running on television let alone driving in the nude. James pulled up alongside Richard’s stationary Porsche and began pouring bottled water over his chest. Richard, his jaw almost resting on the floor, finally picked up the walkie-talkie and spoke into it while keeping his eyes trained on James.
“James? What on Earth are you doing?” he asked, his astonishment plain to hear, even through the plastic machine.
Before James could answer, Jeremy spoke up.
“What’s he doing? I can’t see,” he said, his curiosity, once again, getting the better of him.
“Are you wearing any clothes, James?” Richard asked.
“It’s quite hot,” was James’ only response.
“May’s naked?” Jeremy shouted, a hint of amusement evident.
James ignored him.
“Admit it, May, the Aston’s rubbish,” Jeremy gloated.
“It’s got nothing to do with the car; it’s the horrible Italian weather,”
Without waiting for a response, James manoeuvred out of his car and piled his clothing on the bonnet. The other two presenters wasted no time in jumping out of their own vehicles, doubled over in laughter.
“You were actually completely naked. With the concrete-soft suspension your car has, I’m surprised your bollocks are still intact,”
James smiled sarcastically at Jeremy and slowly slid his pants on. He couldn’t help but notice Jeremy’s eyes flicker downwards and then trail slowly back up his chest. He ignored the prickling feeling on the back of his neck as he tried to hide the small smile on his face, and pulled his trousers up. He slipped into his shirt, tucked the ends in, and then buckled his belt with a flourish.
“I say we finish this brilliant day with a nice cold pint or two and some pasta,” Jeremy suggested, walking back over towards his Lamborghini.
By the time James had finished pulling his shoes on, the other two were back in their cars and starting their engines.
“Come on, May!” Jeremy shouted out the window of his Lamborghini.
James sighed, rubbed his sore bum surreptitiously, and slid into the driver’s seat.
Together, they sped off down the road, back in the direction of civilisation.
- - -
A great deal of cooling down and alcohol consuming later, James ended up in a very comfortable queen sized bed, replaying Jeremy’s glance repeatedly in his mind.
If he told the truth (which he wouldn’t), he only agreed to do the nude scene just to see the other two presenters’ reactions (namely Jeremy), and he’d got the perfect result. He knew Jeremy must have thought of it at least once since they’d arrived back at their hotel, as he’d caught Jeremy staring at his crotch more times than he could count on both his fingers and toes combined. He had cleared his throat and raised his eyebrow at Jeremy more than once, but after only a few moments, Jeremy’s eyes had once again roved back down. He’d given up after a while.
He didn’t know if he was surprised or not, when there was a gentle knock on his door. It was so gentle, he was almost sure the person knocking didn’t want him to hear, as though they couldn’t believe they were actually knocking in the first place.
He slipped out of the bed and walked towards the door, where he switched the light on.
James gazed into the spy-hole and found Jeremy on the other side, biting his lip and peering down the hallway. He was probably hoping that none of the crew would show up. James pushed his shoulders back, hoping to at least appear strong, unlatched the door, and pulled it open.
“Clarkson,” he stated coolly.
When Jeremy didn’t reply he opened the door wider and stepped aside to let him in the room. Jeremy didn’t need to be told, he walked past James, brushing softly against his arm as he did so, and stood by the window that overlooked the roof of the car park. It was too dark to make out any details. His breath fogged up the glass, but before he would wipe it away, James had gripped his wrist. Jeremy hadn’t even heard the door close, or, as he turned and glanced over James’ shoulder, heard the locks click tightly into place.
Inches away with no clue what to say, all Jeremy could do was turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.
James let go of Jeremy’s wrist and took a step back as he noticed the uncertainty in his eyes. Jeremy took a step forward to close the gap and grabbed James’ wrist, mirroring what James had done before.
The uncertainty was still there, but a hint of want and control lingered in the darkness of Jeremy’s pupils.
James took another step back and Jeremy once again closed the space. Their dance continued until James’ back hit the door with a dull thud and he swallowed, keeping his head held high.
Jeremy slowly brought James’ captured wrist above his head and pinned it to the door. He did the same with James’ other wrist and loomed over him.
Nothing was said as Jeremy pressed himself flush against James’ front and still nothing was said as Jeremy dipped his head down to brush his lips over James’ own.
When James’ brain finally caught up with the situation, he opened his mouth against Jeremy’s assault and slipped his tongue into Jeremy’s mouth. It was everything, yet at the same time, nothing like what he expected. He could feel every inch of Jeremy’s body, but he wanted more. He want to bring his hands down and tangle his fingers in Jeremy’s hair. He wanted to press a warm palm against the cool fabric of Jeremy’s jeans and rub him into oblivion. He wanted to create an ecstasy neither would forget, nor want to forget.
With his hands still pinned above his head, he could do nothing, but grind slowly against Jeremy’s body and match the rhythm with his mouth. It wasn’t long before Jeremy was grinding back and James could feel his excitement pressing into his thigh. Jeremy made the mistake of letting go of one of James’ wrists and James broke their kiss without notice. Before he could do anything to stop him, James, still pressed full against his front, forced Jeremy to walk quickly backwards. Jeremy’s back hit the wall beside the bed with a loud whack and as his hand shot out to steady them, he accidentally knocked the lamp off the bedside cabinet, sending it toppling to the floor. The loud crash jolted them both into the present and there was a loud banging on the wall as the other room’s occupant (Richard) let them know they were being obnoxiously loud.
Their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room and their eyes met.
James swallowed, and making sure to keep eye contact, sank to his knees in front of Jeremy. Jeremy almost came at the sight.
With nimble fingers, James unbuttoned Jeremy’s jean and then slowly pulled the zipper down. He slipped his thumbs under the waistband of both Jeremy’s jeans and pants, and dragged them down until they rested at Jeremy’s ankles.
A smirk reached his mouth, in a look Jeremy had never seen before, and he gripped Jeremy’s cock with one hand. He teased the end of Jeremy’s erection with his tongue until Jeremy was scraping his nails on the wall to find purchase, and when he found none, slipped his fingers into James’ long hair.
James stopped messing about and took the head of Jeremy’s cock into his warm mouth. Jeremy moaned softly and tipped his head back against the wall. He tilted his head to one side so it rested on his shoulder and he could still keep eye contact with James.
“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, May?” Jeremy ground out his voice deep and rough with lust.
James just took more of Jeremy into his mouth and grinned gently around him.
When James’ sinful tongue ran along the underside of his erection, he felt his knees weaken and his pulse increase.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off James’ slowly bobbing head and not once, since he’d started, had James looked away. When James brought one hand up to gently fondle Jeremy’s balls, Jeremy couldn't stop his orgasm.
His fingers tightened their hold on James’ hair, and he came into James’ mouth with a sharp cry.
James didn’t stop sucking until every last drop was gone.
As Jeremy tried to catch his breath, James replaced Jeremy’s clothes into their original state.
James couldn’t help but smile at the thought that they’d found more than just the best driving road in Europe. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up. Much much more, he concluded.
- - -