Le sigh...

[shocknawe]

There are so many things I wish I could just get out of my system and commit to this space. But sometimes it feels like the most difficult task on Earth. I'm not sure if it's just the fear of opening up that holds me back or if it's this medium. But it sucks not to be able to be honest even in your own friggin online diary/thing

Comments

[liberalinexile]

Darlin, you have nothing to make amends for...I for one don't feel as if you've been lacking in your friend duties... we are all busy and have many things going on, and luckily this LJ exists for us to communicate however often we may need to.

Speaking of that, you might try to just type out whatever you need to say, and then you can post it just to yourself (so none of us can see the entry) if it's something that you just want to be able to express but don't necessarily want and audience for. I've done that a couple times when I just needed to work through something difficult...and it does seem to help.

Now, about this Fellow business...I command you to stop spending any time second-guessing yourself or being angry about the way you feel! :) I'm really very excited that you seem to have a great connection with the Fellow, and he with you, and that's really OK (and quite warranted, if you ask me). I'll admit it sort of comes as a shock when you realize that you are longing to be around someone so much. I think it's kind of a self-understanding, where you have to allow yourself to become at least partially dependant on another person. And of course that can be a scary thing. But I think it's a very natural part of being in love and experiencing that completeness with someone else. So as much as you possibly can, just allow yourself to relax and enjoy the time you spend with him, and don't worry about how often you think about him, and don't worry about what type of girl you may perceive yourself to be. Just enjoy it...and it only gets better :)