I don't think there is anything more depressing
Today, I decided to look up not only jobs, but also apartments, in california. I really do not think that there is anything in this world that is more depressing. I started with the jobs, and really, looking up art jobs is terrible, I am always somehow under qualified, and the jobs that I do find are always really far away. I have grown comfortable living where I am, and the thought of picking up everything and going somewhere completely new is terrifying. It really is no secret that the majority of animation jobs is in California, and well, that lead me to apartment shopping. I am so disheartened looking up apartments in California. They are just so expensive and small, and then I don't know where is a nice place to live, and I don't know anyone there. It really is a shot in the dark. Then I looked up houses just for the hell of it. A million dollars for a house smaller then the house I grew up in. A MILLION DOLLARS!! I do want to be able to own a house one day, but a MILLION DOLLARS!!! I am really going to have to win the fucking lotto if I ever want to have a house in california.
I feel terrible. I feel like life is rushing in on me and I am drowning. Fucking California. It really doesn't help that I saw my ideal house, on my ideal plot, and it was 6 MILLION dollars. I don't think I will ever know what six million dollars looks like, not even if I saved everything I ever made for the rest of my life, will I ever see six million dollars. WTF!??!?
I feel terrible. I feel like life is rushing in on me and I am drowning. Fucking California. It really doesn't help that I saw my ideal house, on my ideal plot, and it was 6 MILLION dollars. I don't think I will ever know what six million dollars looks like, not even if I saved everything I ever made for the rest of my life, will I ever see six million dollars. WTF!??!?