Grow Up And Blow Away
Why do I feel compelled to revisit this journal? Everytime I'm here it feels like my old memories are not a thing of the past. Which is kinda neat, but you may not know this, but Faisal tends to always live in the present. Well, it's nice, for the most part. But right now I'm feeling funny, I mean, odd. Funny how the word funny is used when I really mean odd. Now that is funny. Anyway, being here may be a good thing. What am I talking about, it's always been a good thing. Just yesterday I was looking at my life, as we all probably do, and I asked myself, as I always do, "what do you think you'd be doing right now if you did leave for San Fran after high school?" I thought about this for a while. I definitely wouldn't have built up my acting resume as much as I have by going there. I wouldn't be credited on IMDB, and I wouldn't be a part of a SAG agency without even being in SAG. And ultimately wasting my time, which I feel is ticking. Not to mention all of the amazing bonds I have created over these last couple of years. The people in my life right now are who I've wanted to surround myself with for the longest time. I work with some of most talented people you'll ever meet. I direct, I create, I am involved.
I was in Europe just recently, checking out theater, schools, and fashion, among other things. Ford models wants me to come back when my acne is all cleared. Oy, story of my life. I told them they can bet their asses I will. I actually said asses, ha, they laughed. The possibilities are endless. But sometimes I wonder if the decisions I am making are the right ones, or am I fucking up? I like to think that I am impacting my life in a good way, but... it's hard sometimes. The writers strike is really sucking the life out of me though. So many jobs have been lost because of it. And so many future jobs have been erased. Who knows, I just hope everyone gets what they want; including me.
Do you ever feel like certain people in your life are only supposed to be there for that certain period of time, to teach you something then and there, and eventually be out of the picture completely? I do but right now I am having trouble discerning those who are here for that short period of time, from those who want to be here for... well forever. Many of the friends from high school that I actually thought will be here forever, are already gone? Which is totally fine because I ended up... not.. hmm, not trying to keep them around? yea that's it. I guess we're just on different paths, which is awesome. The fact that we happen to even exist at the same time in the world is quite astounding really. Well hey, cheers to them.
The semester is about to start and I feel that it may be my last one at SMC. I know most of you are thinking damn, he's still there? Yes I am, because I was in no rush to leave. The theater department here is impeccable and I have grown so much as a performer. I think that if for some weird reason the film career doesn't pick up, I will teach theater. I think I'd love to teach English as well; my minor is English, but I would probably have more fun teaching theater. It's all in a days work though.
I realized tonight that I don't draw anymore whatsoever. My mom pulled out my old drawbooks which contained my drawings from over 10 years ago! Honestly, I don't mean to toot my own car horn but, these drawings from when I was a kid are incredible and soo... advanced for a child of 9! I don't know exactly why I ever stopped. I guess because other forms of art took over my life, like dance, theater, music, directing, what have you. I remember the feelings I would get when I would start a piece. The certain way I like to begin my drawings. And the sense of accomplishment I would get when I would finish a peice I worked on for a few days, sometimes a few hours. I need to bring that back into my life. No more excuses Faisal!!!
ha, no more excuses... now that is something to live by
love,
Faisal
I was in Europe just recently, checking out theater, schools, and fashion, among other things. Ford models wants me to come back when my acne is all cleared. Oy, story of my life. I told them they can bet their asses I will. I actually said asses, ha, they laughed. The possibilities are endless. But sometimes I wonder if the decisions I am making are the right ones, or am I fucking up? I like to think that I am impacting my life in a good way, but... it's hard sometimes. The writers strike is really sucking the life out of me though. So many jobs have been lost because of it. And so many future jobs have been erased. Who knows, I just hope everyone gets what they want; including me.
Do you ever feel like certain people in your life are only supposed to be there for that certain period of time, to teach you something then and there, and eventually be out of the picture completely? I do but right now I am having trouble discerning those who are here for that short period of time, from those who want to be here for... well forever. Many of the friends from high school that I actually thought will be here forever, are already gone? Which is totally fine because I ended up... not.. hmm, not trying to keep them around? yea that's it. I guess we're just on different paths, which is awesome. The fact that we happen to even exist at the same time in the world is quite astounding really. Well hey, cheers to them.
The semester is about to start and I feel that it may be my last one at SMC. I know most of you are thinking damn, he's still there? Yes I am, because I was in no rush to leave. The theater department here is impeccable and I have grown so much as a performer. I think that if for some weird reason the film career doesn't pick up, I will teach theater. I think I'd love to teach English as well; my minor is English, but I would probably have more fun teaching theater. It's all in a days work though.
I realized tonight that I don't draw anymore whatsoever. My mom pulled out my old drawbooks which contained my drawings from over 10 years ago! Honestly, I don't mean to toot my own car horn but, these drawings from when I was a kid are incredible and soo... advanced for a child of 9! I don't know exactly why I ever stopped. I guess because other forms of art took over my life, like dance, theater, music, directing, what have you. I remember the feelings I would get when I would start a piece. The certain way I like to begin my drawings. And the sense of accomplishment I would get when I would finish a peice I worked on for a few days, sometimes a few hours. I need to bring that back into my life. No more excuses Faisal!!!
ha, no more excuses... now that is something to live by
love,
Faisal