(no subject)
Well, this was originally for the Theatrical Muse prompt - the question, basically, was "what would you have done differently". Naturally, I focused on the companions the Doctor has lost.
It references the events of The Axis of Insanity, though I don't think you'd need to have heard that to understand it. It also assumes that Erimem dies saving Peri - not a spoiler, just my personal canon. The same goes for Nyssa dying on Terminus.
Title: Mors Certa, Vita Incerta
Rating: PG
Characters: The Fifth Doctor, and most of his companions.
Summary: The Doctor returns to the Axis, and in chaos finds his way.
"Imagine the spokes of a bicycle wheel. Each spoke is a damaged or truncated reality, a sort of dead end in Time. They're formed by changes in established history, some big, some relatively small, which cause the flow of subsequent events to spiral out of control. Often catastrophically." - The Axis of Insanity
He is tempted, sometimes, until he remembers that, by saving one brilliant child, one selfless arbiter, one stubborn woman, he could condemn billions.
When they lost Erimem, he told himself he travelled back to the Axis only to confer with the new Overseer - not to taste chaos and know again why he shouldn't, can't, won't.
There is a path when he arrives, of logic and direction that exists nowhere else. As he walks he looks at what is not meant to be seen, tucks away ancient mistakes in his mind so that they will not be repeated.
The trail ends at her throne, and she looks at him with so much knowledge, so much sadness, that he, for the first time in ages, feels young.
His hands are clasped tightly behind him; he stands with a posture both dignified and respectful.
"I…wanted to see how you were getting on."
Laughter, delicate and resonant. She looks so very fragile, as she always will, but already there is steel shining dully in her eyes, weathered and stalwart. He never meets them for very long.
"I should be cross with you, Doctor, such an infamous meddler." Of course he does then, with protests in his gaze that die on his lips when she raises a hand. Dainty, he notes absently; you would need a keen eye to see the calluses there, to know she dips her fingers into entropy and squeezes the resistance from it.
"You were the one who arranged for me to take this throne. The one who was willing to give his life for Time."
"Any Time Lord - "
"Would sacrifices his life for the sanctity of the Time lines, knows that he is expendable - is that not what you told Jarra To?" A curt nod; he knows what the next words will be.
"And yet you're here because she is not."
"She was my friend." His companion, his student, his comrade, his responsibility, and she knows all of this.
"As were they all." Her voice is softer and she stands, crossing over to him. He sees ancient sympathy, and it's almost like looking into a mirror.
"You hold the burden of so many regrets." She reaches out, and touches a hand to his temple, the other reaching for his own.
"Tell me. Tell me what you could have done."
He stares for a moment, and then he tells her, as his hearts shudder and his eyes burn and realities unfold from their fingertips.
"I would have brought him home when he asked..."
Eventually, as they wandered through E-Space, they found the world the Alzarians had colonised. They were welcomed by the residents, and in due time their societies merged.
Adric was no longer the confused prodigy, the lonely orphan; he was the prodigal son, a mystifying voyager.
He was offered further schooling, steady employment, and his peers crowded around him to learn of his travels in another universe. Keara, a grown woman now, greeted him with an embrace.
He hugged Nyssa and Tegan in turn, blushing and awkward, and hesitated before holding his hand out to the Doctor.
He knew that Adric would have a long, joyful, prosperous life, and so he could smile as he shook his hand.
He turned, and waved, and walked into the future.
The Doctor stared at his palm, and the gold star glinted up at him, a token of gratitude and appreciation he would keep with him always.
I would have fought harder, argued longer, convinced her to let me help.
At first, Peri and Erimem were wary of the new addition to the TARDIS. Both the older woman and the Doctor assured them it was a temporary arrangement, but neither could give them a definite time span.
Soon enough they knew why she was there, and threw themselves into the research, travel, and struggles the Doctor guided them all into. None of them knew precisely how long she had left; as it went on, as the Doctor tried any means to prolong her life, she spend more and more time in the room shared once with her best friend.
Eventually, Peri began to visit her there. They would laugh over the Doctor's eccentricities, share stories of adventures, reminisce about the family both had found. Tegan though the girl reminded her a bit of herself; Peri thought she would like to grow up to be so strong.
One day, they found what they were searching for, and Tegan went home. It was a warm goodbye, and no tears were shed. She embraced Peri, shook Erimem's hand, kissed the Doctor on the cheek, and thanked them all.
Before turning away for the last time, she whispered to him, "I never regretted leaving, Doctor, but I didn't regret coming along, either."
I would have gone back, as I wanted to, as I feared to, before it was too late.
She was surprised to see him arrive; it had been years for her and they showed more in her eyes than anything. He stumbled through an explanation and she smiled that soft, understanding smile and hugged him.
"I've missed you."
"And I you." He smiled but it was weak; she moved so wearily, spoke so faintly, and he insisted that he look her over. He only convinced her to take the briefest leave of absence with several days and Tegan's help, such was her devotion.
It was not a natural affliction. It took some time for the four of them to realise what it was, and to cure it. In that time they became a new family, one of tenuous balance and grudging respect and enduring compassion. He said, once, what a team they made, and his three smiled together, content.
She left them again, but not before he kissed her cheek and told her the truth.
When they said goodbye, there were no regrets, no tears, and no anxieties.
I would have been faster...stepped in front of the spear.
They ran, as fast as they could with the ache of exhaustion in their limbs and failure in their hearts, and he clasped both of their hands and urged them on.
The TARDIS had just come into view when it happened. They were, despite themselves, brought short as a thin spear whistled past. As one they turn, and another was headed towards Peri.
Erimem jumped in front of her as she closed her eyes.
He was almost too late, but he managed to push her aside, and it pierced one of his hearts.
Choking, gasping, he told them they needed to keep going, to leave him - but Erimem took one arm and Peri the other, and they dragged him back home.
They knelt over him as he died, clutching his hands and begging to know how to save him; he told them they couldn't, and new life was christened with their tears.
He stumbled back as the Overseer faded back into sight, staring with wide eyes; his hand almost slipped from hers but she held it tight, and embraced him with one arm. The words whispered in his ear were not to be remembered, but they led him back to his TARDIS, back to a life he needed to keep living, a friend who couldn't be left alone.
As he rested his hand on the door, he wept, for the first and last time, in a haven for what should never be.
Somewhere, in worlds he couldn't touch, they would live on, and that had to be enough.
It references the events of The Axis of Insanity, though I don't think you'd need to have heard that to understand it. It also assumes that Erimem dies saving Peri - not a spoiler, just my personal canon. The same goes for Nyssa dying on Terminus.
Title: Mors Certa, Vita Incerta
Rating: PG
Characters: The Fifth Doctor, and most of his companions.
Summary: The Doctor returns to the Axis, and in chaos finds his way.
"Imagine the spokes of a bicycle wheel. Each spoke is a damaged or truncated reality, a sort of dead end in Time. They're formed by changes in established history, some big, some relatively small, which cause the flow of subsequent events to spiral out of control. Often catastrophically." - The Axis of Insanity
He is tempted, sometimes, until he remembers that, by saving one brilliant child, one selfless arbiter, one stubborn woman, he could condemn billions.
When they lost Erimem, he told himself he travelled back to the Axis only to confer with the new Overseer - not to taste chaos and know again why he shouldn't, can't, won't.
There is a path when he arrives, of logic and direction that exists nowhere else. As he walks he looks at what is not meant to be seen, tucks away ancient mistakes in his mind so that they will not be repeated.
The trail ends at her throne, and she looks at him with so much knowledge, so much sadness, that he, for the first time in ages, feels young.
His hands are clasped tightly behind him; he stands with a posture both dignified and respectful.
"I…wanted to see how you were getting on."
Laughter, delicate and resonant. She looks so very fragile, as she always will, but already there is steel shining dully in her eyes, weathered and stalwart. He never meets them for very long.
"I should be cross with you, Doctor, such an infamous meddler." Of course he does then, with protests in his gaze that die on his lips when she raises a hand. Dainty, he notes absently; you would need a keen eye to see the calluses there, to know she dips her fingers into entropy and squeezes the resistance from it.
"You were the one who arranged for me to take this throne. The one who was willing to give his life for Time."
"Any Time Lord - "
"Would sacrifices his life for the sanctity of the Time lines, knows that he is expendable - is that not what you told Jarra To?" A curt nod; he knows what the next words will be.
"And yet you're here because she is not."
"She was my friend." His companion, his student, his comrade, his responsibility, and she knows all of this.
"As were they all." Her voice is softer and she stands, crossing over to him. He sees ancient sympathy, and it's almost like looking into a mirror.
"You hold the burden of so many regrets." She reaches out, and touches a hand to his temple, the other reaching for his own.
"Tell me. Tell me what you could have done."
He stares for a moment, and then he tells her, as his hearts shudder and his eyes burn and realities unfold from their fingertips.
"I would have brought him home when he asked..."
Eventually, as they wandered through E-Space, they found the world the Alzarians had colonised. They were welcomed by the residents, and in due time their societies merged.
Adric was no longer the confused prodigy, the lonely orphan; he was the prodigal son, a mystifying voyager.
He was offered further schooling, steady employment, and his peers crowded around him to learn of his travels in another universe. Keara, a grown woman now, greeted him with an embrace.
He hugged Nyssa and Tegan in turn, blushing and awkward, and hesitated before holding his hand out to the Doctor.
He knew that Adric would have a long, joyful, prosperous life, and so he could smile as he shook his hand.
He turned, and waved, and walked into the future.
The Doctor stared at his palm, and the gold star glinted up at him, a token of gratitude and appreciation he would keep with him always.
I would have fought harder, argued longer, convinced her to let me help.
At first, Peri and Erimem were wary of the new addition to the TARDIS. Both the older woman and the Doctor assured them it was a temporary arrangement, but neither could give them a definite time span.
Soon enough they knew why she was there, and threw themselves into the research, travel, and struggles the Doctor guided them all into. None of them knew precisely how long she had left; as it went on, as the Doctor tried any means to prolong her life, she spend more and more time in the room shared once with her best friend.
Eventually, Peri began to visit her there. They would laugh over the Doctor's eccentricities, share stories of adventures, reminisce about the family both had found. Tegan though the girl reminded her a bit of herself; Peri thought she would like to grow up to be so strong.
One day, they found what they were searching for, and Tegan went home. It was a warm goodbye, and no tears were shed. She embraced Peri, shook Erimem's hand, kissed the Doctor on the cheek, and thanked them all.
Before turning away for the last time, she whispered to him, "I never regretted leaving, Doctor, but I didn't regret coming along, either."
I would have gone back, as I wanted to, as I feared to, before it was too late.
She was surprised to see him arrive; it had been years for her and they showed more in her eyes than anything. He stumbled through an explanation and she smiled that soft, understanding smile and hugged him.
"I've missed you."
"And I you." He smiled but it was weak; she moved so wearily, spoke so faintly, and he insisted that he look her over. He only convinced her to take the briefest leave of absence with several days and Tegan's help, such was her devotion.
It was not a natural affliction. It took some time for the four of them to realise what it was, and to cure it. In that time they became a new family, one of tenuous balance and grudging respect and enduring compassion. He said, once, what a team they made, and his three smiled together, content.
She left them again, but not before he kissed her cheek and told her the truth.
When they said goodbye, there were no regrets, no tears, and no anxieties.
I would have been faster...stepped in front of the spear.
They ran, as fast as they could with the ache of exhaustion in their limbs and failure in their hearts, and he clasped both of their hands and urged them on.
The TARDIS had just come into view when it happened. They were, despite themselves, brought short as a thin spear whistled past. As one they turn, and another was headed towards Peri.
Erimem jumped in front of her as she closed her eyes.
He was almost too late, but he managed to push her aside, and it pierced one of his hearts.
Choking, gasping, he told them they needed to keep going, to leave him - but Erimem took one arm and Peri the other, and they dragged him back home.
They knelt over him as he died, clutching his hands and begging to know how to save him; he told them they couldn't, and new life was christened with their tears.
He stumbled back as the Overseer faded back into sight, staring with wide eyes; his hand almost slipped from hers but she held it tight, and embraced him with one arm. The words whispered in his ear were not to be remembered, but they led him back to his TARDIS, back to a life he needed to keep living, a friend who couldn't be left alone.
As he rested his hand on the door, he wept, for the first and last time, in a haven for what should never be.
Somewhere, in worlds he couldn't touch, they would live on, and that had to be enough.