(no subject)
Sometimes I feel the need to write about my life. You know. Not like posting what crazy thing happened to me on live journal, but seriously. The good and the bad. My family and there craziness and the places I go and the people I know. It is just weird. If someone read whatever I write they would have no idea what I am talking about. I am not feeling sad but just a little bit anxious about the end of the year. I, like all of you, have the big finals, grades, tests, and big projects that are coming up. It is really hard to handle all of this. I feel as though I and just going to crumble one day. Just you wait.
I was walking through the halls today and, as usual, said hi to several people. Thinking about it, am I their friends?, do they think I'm their friends or just some random girl who is really strange. Or are we just acquaintances. I have noticed recently that alI have been thinking about the lunch group and the had out group. I think that as a whole we have all been making it out that we are closer than than we actually are.
Last night I was attempting to do my homework and I just started to cry. I realized that I don't really know anything. All of the information goes in one ear and out of the other, especially with math. With spanish I can memorize the vocabulary and the verb tense for a week or two, but after that I forget them. That isn't how it should work. I am really nervous about the finals...just feeling incredibly stupid.
Also I have been thinking about something a lot. If you just decided to leave one day. You moved to another country with different surroundings and different people. You don't have a past. The people around you only know from what you have told them. How amazing would that be? You would completely start fresh. But then again, If I attempted to do that, I wonder what kind of first impression I would give off. In different surroundings, I act differently. How strange? I am either really chatty, giggly and goofy or a quiet, shy, nerdy, loser. Totally weird. The different dynamics of people fascinate me entirely. I think that is part of the reason, I want to be a director. To instruct actors on how to behave. It can be real, or just a vision. You see the dynamics off the people and their relationships with each other. You can create emotion out of nothing and you can leave lasting impressions on the audience. That is cool. For real. Just imagine how some movies effect people's lives. Don't you remember like one scene from a movie. How it made you feel. How is still makes you feel, you know. It is really cool. Maybe having control of the situations in life, is comforting.
Sorry for blabbing
Love,
Lindsay
I was walking through the halls today and, as usual, said hi to several people. Thinking about it, am I their friends?, do they think I'm their friends or just some random girl who is really strange. Or are we just acquaintances. I have noticed recently that alI have been thinking about the lunch group and the had out group. I think that as a whole we have all been making it out that we are closer than than we actually are.
Last night I was attempting to do my homework and I just started to cry. I realized that I don't really know anything. All of the information goes in one ear and out of the other, especially with math. With spanish I can memorize the vocabulary and the verb tense for a week or two, but after that I forget them. That isn't how it should work. I am really nervous about the finals...just feeling incredibly stupid.
Also I have been thinking about something a lot. If you just decided to leave one day. You moved to another country with different surroundings and different people. You don't have a past. The people around you only know from what you have told them. How amazing would that be? You would completely start fresh. But then again, If I attempted to do that, I wonder what kind of first impression I would give off. In different surroundings, I act differently. How strange? I am either really chatty, giggly and goofy or a quiet, shy, nerdy, loser. Totally weird. The different dynamics of people fascinate me entirely. I think that is part of the reason, I want to be a director. To instruct actors on how to behave. It can be real, or just a vision. You see the dynamics off the people and their relationships with each other. You can create emotion out of nothing and you can leave lasting impressions on the audience. That is cool. For real. Just imagine how some movies effect people's lives. Don't you remember like one scene from a movie. How it made you feel. How is still makes you feel, you know. It is really cool. Maybe having control of the situations in life, is comforting.
Sorry for blabbing
Love,
Lindsay