When it comes to love, am I a cynic or a realist?
I have more than often been accused by friends of "shitting all over everything" whenever I try to use logic amidst romance.
My sister thinks I'm unromantic because I believe in Prenuptual Agreements. I can see where someone would think that. Most of the arguments I've heard against Prenups are romantic ones. Things like "If you're going into a marriage already thinking about divorce, you shouldn't get married" and "marriages are a lifetime commitment and you shouldn't be preparing for it to end". I commented on Prenups to my mum and she reckons that I like the idea of them because I always want to be in control of everything. I think she may be right. I like the idea of a Prenup because I'd always have the peace of mind that no matter what happened, I'd have a safety net and I would never find myself without a house or any money. And I bet now you're thinking "You're already assuming that he's going to screw you over or have an affair, which means you don't trust him and you shouldn't get married". Considering I can't picture anyone I'd actually want to get married to, you probably have a point. But my point is that you never know what you'll be capable of in ten years time. You never know what someone else would be capable of, either. When I was thirteen I had a friend that I knew I would be best friends with forever. I still have a letter she wrote me that was super sentimental and full of promise. I used to go back and re-read it whenever I was in a bad mood. But in the last two years, we've started to really grow apart. I realised that those letters we wrote each other were from a period of time in which we were really close, and that we wouldn't necessarily care about each other in that way forever. People grow. People change. People move on. You can NEVER predict what will happen in the future.
I think there's something about me that just wants to see the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be. When I was young I was always one of those people who figured that people don't value marriage like they used to. I'd see these old grandparents who had been married for fifty years and seemed so happy. But people always look at the past with rose-coloured glasses. Where most people love nostalgia, I like to look at things realistically. I do acknowledge that there are some people that really don't value marriage at all. But one of the main reasons why marriages don't work out nowadays is because people don't put up with the bullshit that their parents used to put up with. In the past, people would tell you to stick with your husband even if he violated his vows, because marriage is sacred. Even if he beats the shit out of you and rapes you, you made a commitment, dammit! I know it pisses people off when I point out that some things were not always as awesome as people remembered them. I mean, the 50s, for example. You think 50s and you think cute Happy Days kinda families, with smiling kids, cute malt shops, poodle skirts and rockin' tunes. But you forget what the 50s was like for anyone who wasn't white. What about American Segregation? The White Australia Policy? You forget that in the 60s and 70s, you couldn't be reprimanded (let alone jailed) for Date Rape, Sexual Harrassment or Spousal Abuse.
My point is that there's an idealistic point of view and a realistic point of view. I always want to be on the side of reason, rationality and logic. So if I ever get into an awesome relationship and I somehow lose all my beloved logic, will someone PLEASE promise to be my voice of reason amidst my romantic haze?
My sister thinks I'm unromantic because I believe in Prenuptual Agreements. I can see where someone would think that. Most of the arguments I've heard against Prenups are romantic ones. Things like "If you're going into a marriage already thinking about divorce, you shouldn't get married" and "marriages are a lifetime commitment and you shouldn't be preparing for it to end". I commented on Prenups to my mum and she reckons that I like the idea of them because I always want to be in control of everything. I think she may be right. I like the idea of a Prenup because I'd always have the peace of mind that no matter what happened, I'd have a safety net and I would never find myself without a house or any money. And I bet now you're thinking "You're already assuming that he's going to screw you over or have an affair, which means you don't trust him and you shouldn't get married". Considering I can't picture anyone I'd actually want to get married to, you probably have a point. But my point is that you never know what you'll be capable of in ten years time. You never know what someone else would be capable of, either. When I was thirteen I had a friend that I knew I would be best friends with forever. I still have a letter she wrote me that was super sentimental and full of promise. I used to go back and re-read it whenever I was in a bad mood. But in the last two years, we've started to really grow apart. I realised that those letters we wrote each other were from a period of time in which we were really close, and that we wouldn't necessarily care about each other in that way forever. People grow. People change. People move on. You can NEVER predict what will happen in the future.
I think there's something about me that just wants to see the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be. When I was young I was always one of those people who figured that people don't value marriage like they used to. I'd see these old grandparents who had been married for fifty years and seemed so happy. But people always look at the past with rose-coloured glasses. Where most people love nostalgia, I like to look at things realistically. I do acknowledge that there are some people that really don't value marriage at all. But one of the main reasons why marriages don't work out nowadays is because people don't put up with the bullshit that their parents used to put up with. In the past, people would tell you to stick with your husband even if he violated his vows, because marriage is sacred. Even if he beats the shit out of you and rapes you, you made a commitment, dammit! I know it pisses people off when I point out that some things were not always as awesome as people remembered them. I mean, the 50s, for example. You think 50s and you think cute Happy Days kinda families, with smiling kids, cute malt shops, poodle skirts and rockin' tunes. But you forget what the 50s was like for anyone who wasn't white. What about American Segregation? The White Australia Policy? You forget that in the 60s and 70s, you couldn't be reprimanded (let alone jailed) for Date Rape, Sexual Harrassment or Spousal Abuse.
My point is that there's an idealistic point of view and a realistic point of view. I always want to be on the side of reason, rationality and logic. So if I ever get into an awesome relationship and I somehow lose all my beloved logic, will someone PLEASE promise to be my voice of reason amidst my romantic haze?