It's funny because this is all true..... 99.9% of it applies to me!
You Know You're A Lifeguard When.......
You are on vacation and at the hotel pool you can’t stop yourself from yelling "WALK PLEASE’’ to all the uncontrollable kids.
Even when you aren’t teaching, you can’t help but correct strokes or ‘’give pointers’’.
You don’t remember people by their names; you remember them by their front crawl.
Even if you haven’t been in the pool for a week, as soon as you sweat, get into the shower, get sprayed, go out in the rain (get wet in anyway) you smell of chlorine.
All the kids in the pool all become ‘’buddy’’ or ‘’sweetie’’.
You roll your eyes when watching BAYWATCH and feel the urge to explain what the lifeguards are doing wrong to the person next to you. Regardless if they want to hear it or not.
Comparing farmers’ tan is the thing to do when working outdoors.
Pushing people in the pool stops getting funny…seriously… it sucks getting wet and someone could get hurt.
Being half naked lost its effect.
You get really upset when you go shopping for a bathing suit during winter. IT’S NOT OFF SEASON FOR US!!!!!
When’s someone’s hurt, you have the urge to run with your arms stretched out yelling ‘’IT’S OKAY I’M A LIFEGUARD’’!
You roll your eyes when someone gets tapped on the back when chocking.
It’s weird to see your co-workers in clothes or make-up.
When someone’s doing CPR in the movies and the victim coughs out the water and breaths, you laugh.
You know all the pizza places phone numbers in the city by heart.
‘’Save a whistle, blow a lifeguard’’ is the funniest and most creative pick-up line you’ve ever heard. Ever.
You forget how loud your voice is.
‘’We save lives’’ is an acceptable argument used to explain your awesome paycheck to your minimum wage earning friends.
Putting a towel around your bathing suit makes it okay for you to walk out in public.
Pia carries, spinal turnovers and removals are suitable party conversations/debates.
Your hair dresser is starting a petition for you to stop ruining your hair.
You get upset when someone who’s not a lifeguard has a lifeguard sweatshirt, t-shirt or sweatpants.
You have used the oxygen tank to cure a hangover.
Patrons are not recognisable when clothed.
You pray to the Fowling Fairy daily.
You can fix/tighten any goggles without interrupting your scan.
‘’Between the nipples’’ isn’t as dirty as it sounds.
When the clock is your best friend and your worst enemy.
You know the regular patrons by their first name, and roll your eyes when someone talks about them.
You have two minutes left before you go on deck, that’s enough for some food, bathroom break and to finish your magazine article.
You are on vacation and at the hotel pool you can’t stop yourself from yelling "WALK PLEASE’’ to all the uncontrollable kids.
Even when you aren’t teaching, you can’t help but correct strokes or ‘’give pointers’’.
You don’t remember people by their names; you remember them by their front crawl.
Even if you haven’t been in the pool for a week, as soon as you sweat, get into the shower, get sprayed, go out in the rain (get wet in anyway) you smell of chlorine.
All the kids in the pool all become ‘’buddy’’ or ‘’sweetie’’.
You roll your eyes when watching BAYWATCH and feel the urge to explain what the lifeguards are doing wrong to the person next to you. Regardless if they want to hear it or not.
Comparing farmers’ tan is the thing to do when working outdoors.
Pushing people in the pool stops getting funny…seriously… it sucks getting wet and someone could get hurt.
Being half naked lost its effect.
You get really upset when you go shopping for a bathing suit during winter. IT’S NOT OFF SEASON FOR US!!!!!
When’s someone’s hurt, you have the urge to run with your arms stretched out yelling ‘’IT’S OKAY I’M A LIFEGUARD’’!
You roll your eyes when someone gets tapped on the back when chocking.
It’s weird to see your co-workers in clothes or make-up.
When someone’s doing CPR in the movies and the victim coughs out the water and breaths, you laugh.
You know all the pizza places phone numbers in the city by heart.
‘’Save a whistle, blow a lifeguard’’ is the funniest and most creative pick-up line you’ve ever heard. Ever.
You forget how loud your voice is.
‘’We save lives’’ is an acceptable argument used to explain your awesome paycheck to your minimum wage earning friends.
Putting a towel around your bathing suit makes it okay for you to walk out in public.
Pia carries, spinal turnovers and removals are suitable party conversations/debates.
Your hair dresser is starting a petition for you to stop ruining your hair.
You get upset when someone who’s not a lifeguard has a lifeguard sweatshirt, t-shirt or sweatpants.
You have used the oxygen tank to cure a hangover.
Patrons are not recognisable when clothed.
You pray to the Fowling Fairy daily.
You can fix/tighten any goggles without interrupting your scan.
‘’Between the nipples’’ isn’t as dirty as it sounds.
When the clock is your best friend and your worst enemy.
You know the regular patrons by their first name, and roll your eyes when someone talks about them.
You have two minutes left before you go on deck, that’s enough for some food, bathroom break and to finish your magazine article.