(no subject)
I wrote that big ol list of stuff to do... and well, then I went to London, and got sick, and blah blah blah. Basically I fail, and what jagienka said was absolutely right-- big lists with big goals make nothing happen. But really, I'm just putting myself in a situation where all the optimism and motivation in the world can't get me going-- I'm not in control of a large portion of my life.
I won't go into all of the details, but basically, I haven't had a second to actually think about a lot of the things I need to. There are a lot of things going on here at home which make the atmosphere very hard to work in. It's basically a really hard workplace that I don't get to leave at 5pm, and all the things I want to get done aren't going.
Some stuff has been done, and other things have been started, but it's just so scattered and not what I'd like to see at all. I revised the list to reflect when I'd like some of it to be done, and it's a bit more clear what my priorities are, but they are all September Goals. The other thing is that I'm trying to figure out how to do Christmas this year. If I take seasonal retail work, the chances of me going home are 0. I know my parents can come see me, but I won't be able to see my brother or sister. My parents can afford 2 tickets (us going home or them coming here) but 4 is too much, especially at Christmas. As someone who reeeeally needs her family holidays I want to be able to be together as a family at some point, so possibly Thanksgiving or even a 'faux' holiday in late January/early February. And secretly, I really just need to stand on US ground, it's been really hard being back here since June. I sound like such a whiner though, and if going home doesn't happen, then I will survive (and have done in the past). I'm not going to be home for Christmas day anyway, that's a certain no matter what job I take.
I know this year is going to be hard... it's only month 1... God I just hope I don't collapse.
I won't go into all of the details, but basically, I haven't had a second to actually think about a lot of the things I need to. There are a lot of things going on here at home which make the atmosphere very hard to work in. It's basically a really hard workplace that I don't get to leave at 5pm, and all the things I want to get done aren't going.
Some stuff has been done, and other things have been started, but it's just so scattered and not what I'd like to see at all. I revised the list to reflect when I'd like some of it to be done, and it's a bit more clear what my priorities are, but they are all September Goals. The other thing is that I'm trying to figure out how to do Christmas this year. If I take seasonal retail work, the chances of me going home are 0. I know my parents can come see me, but I won't be able to see my brother or sister. My parents can afford 2 tickets (us going home or them coming here) but 4 is too much, especially at Christmas. As someone who reeeeally needs her family holidays I want to be able to be together as a family at some point, so possibly Thanksgiving or even a 'faux' holiday in late January/early February. And secretly, I really just need to stand on US ground, it's been really hard being back here since June. I sound like such a whiner though, and if going home doesn't happen, then I will survive (and have done in the past). I'm not going to be home for Christmas day anyway, that's a certain no matter what job I take.
I know this year is going to be hard... it's only month 1... God I just hope I don't collapse.