Just woke up.
That's it. I refuse to be a victim. I feel as though I've had a revelation and realized what a coward I've been, while I've been thinking I'm supergirl. Yes, I can seduce guys pretty well--but who the fuck cares. I want more. I need more. I wish to erase all fear from my life and to start to tell the truth. I am going to stop letting people make me a victim because I don't want to get yelled at by telling the truth if it is "bad". Excuse me, but I lied for a month to Brooks that I still loved him when I didn't. I lied to myself to a year because I was so afraid of being without Brooks.
And I thought I was liberated, but I see myself getting trapped again. Afraid to tell my mother that Chrissy's leaving for fear that she'll blame me and think I'm dumb. That is weakness. That is sick! The truth will set me free, and I'm going to make it happen for me. I'm done hoping that I'm powerful and and amazing. I shall now know that I am.
I'm so tired. Why the hell am I awake? Last night I was drunk and acted stupid as fuck. I jerked awake this morning and realized what a dumbass I am. How I try too hard. Fuck trying. I'm going to have power back. I'm going to take back what Brooks took from me and then some. I'm done succumbing to fear. Fear needs to succumb to Kate.
And I thought I was liberated, but I see myself getting trapped again. Afraid to tell my mother that Chrissy's leaving for fear that she'll blame me and think I'm dumb. That is weakness. That is sick! The truth will set me free, and I'm going to make it happen for me. I'm done hoping that I'm powerful and and amazing. I shall now know that I am.
I'm so tired. Why the hell am I awake? Last night I was drunk and acted stupid as fuck. I jerked awake this morning and realized what a dumbass I am. How I try too hard. Fuck trying. I'm going to have power back. I'm going to take back what Brooks took from me and then some. I'm done succumbing to fear. Fear needs to succumb to Kate.