be brutally honest was it better before me?
i am just outrageous. i think im driving my roommates insane. well and im driving myself insane but thats a given. i think i really like my life. i think. most days i really like it. i love going to dance class now. i really do. and im going to start going to some auditions again too. and i have been going to performances lately which is great. and fun! and im starting to make friends. i made a friend or two at work... and a couple through dance stuff... which is great! amazing actually. i kind of like my job a little bit. i like that its flexible and that i work with people that i usually like. and im trying to get another job so that i can pay my bills and not want to cry. thats good. things are good. i like my life. i think..
at the end of the day... at least i entertain myself. oh my gosh do i entertain myself. i hope that its not at the cost of others feelings. i dont think so though. i just gotta figure out whats gonna make me a little bit happier than before. whats gonna help me sleep at night. if getting a bottle of chocolate milk is going to help- by golly im gonna get it. tomorrow im gonna get a huge delicious doughnut for fat tuesday. that is going to make me really happy. sometimes making a good playlist makes me happy, or flirting with someone at work. or occasionally ill run into someone that i know on the street, or some random hottie will smile at me on the subway.. that always makes me happy!
i can be happy. its funny when you are in elementary and middle and high school and even college... you dont see yourself grow up, but one day a couple years later all the sudden you are this person that has been formed and molded from your experiences good and bad.. i sort of feel like im watching myself get older in slow motion. and i have all these decisions and i feel like every little thing will change my whole life, my whole personality, my whole being. its so odd. i need to pick up the pace so i can stop thinking. thats terrible!!
yoga makes me happy too. i do like yoga.
and as i look i see the cracks below. and i see myslef fall into them and i see what ive been running from. i just dont understand how you could.. how could you do this to me? ive seen lovers dance, and i was under the impression that you felt the same way too.
i like my life i like my life i like my life.... i love my life! i love my life! im 21 and i live in new york city! i love my life! gosh its so easy to convince myself... i really do! i love my life!!!
at the end of the day... at least i entertain myself. oh my gosh do i entertain myself. i hope that its not at the cost of others feelings. i dont think so though. i just gotta figure out whats gonna make me a little bit happier than before. whats gonna help me sleep at night. if getting a bottle of chocolate milk is going to help- by golly im gonna get it. tomorrow im gonna get a huge delicious doughnut for fat tuesday. that is going to make me really happy. sometimes making a good playlist makes me happy, or flirting with someone at work. or occasionally ill run into someone that i know on the street, or some random hottie will smile at me on the subway.. that always makes me happy!
i can be happy. its funny when you are in elementary and middle and high school and even college... you dont see yourself grow up, but one day a couple years later all the sudden you are this person that has been formed and molded from your experiences good and bad.. i sort of feel like im watching myself get older in slow motion. and i have all these decisions and i feel like every little thing will change my whole life, my whole personality, my whole being. its so odd. i need to pick up the pace so i can stop thinking. thats terrible!!
yoga makes me happy too. i do like yoga.
and as i look i see the cracks below. and i see myslef fall into them and i see what ive been running from. i just dont understand how you could.. how could you do this to me? ive seen lovers dance, and i was under the impression that you felt the same way too.
i like my life i like my life i like my life.... i love my life! i love my life! im 21 and i live in new york city! i love my life! gosh its so easy to convince myself... i really do! i love my life!!!