I'm slowly going insane
Seriously, today I feels like I’m at my breaking point already… What the heck happened to me???? I’m not emotionally stable anymore and I’m turning into a real bitch or something… My dad is the whole main reason for this. I’m already hot-headed but he’s driving me into another level with all of his nonsensical talks and actions. Today we had a lot of people coming to our house, so it was very tiring for all the women, because of all the chores, obviously. I feel bad for my mom, she has to cook the whole day and then has to be a host to her friends… We had both lunch and dinner so she had not time to rest properly… And my dad is always over the limit and just doesn’t know when to stop… Instead of ending the dinner early so everyone can clean up quickly, he drags it on and on. Me and Q waited for like an hour with the hope that they would finish so we could clean up, but nooooo, I lost my patience and take a shower and then after that even did my nail polish and now my dad ask me to clean up???? Yeahhhh. I would not have any problems if he would let me do it an hour ago, but who the heck would want to wash dishes and mop the floor 10 pm at night??? But then I could not let my mom do it either, so obviously I still have to do it. And my dad was still driving me crazy with his “helping” or to be more exact, making the matter worse for me… He never did it the way I wanted, so it made me even angrier and had to do it over again. I knew, I knew he had good intention, but my emotion was higher than my mind, so I kept yelling at him and told him to went downstairs already….
I was almost done anyway when I saw the cats are downstairs, right away I knew he forgot to lock the door on the balcony AGAIN. Every freakin single time…. So I was screaming at him, and running around chasing the cat!!!! I was so so so mad, I was already so tired, and I still had to try to find a cat in this 5 story house at 10 pm at night???? I EXPLODED, yes I did, I was screaming like there was no tomorrow and yelled at my cat heavily so he could stand still and I would take him upstairs. When I’m now lying in my bad, I was crying for no reason…. I don’t even know why… Probably deep inside, I was unhappy, I was stressed with the fear of not finding a suitable job after my time with S hotel ended. And most important, as N told me… I really wanted a boyfriend but just could not get one… My sad life…. Idk what to do anymore…