Who is Therru?
Sometimes I just wonder.... WHY?
I mean, why are some things the way they are?
Why can't people just bring themselves to be just a LITTLE bit more kind?
Why are sometimes feelings so hard to understand?
Why are there many questions that will never receive an answer?
WHY?
But I guess... sometimes, so many questions that will never get an answer, should never be asked after all, and stay as misteries...
Like what is going on inside myself at the moment.
Sometimes, I feel so happy and genki, full of energy and willing to make things better...but other times, it is just as if something inside myself...simply gives up.
So, at the moment I am just going through a very confusing time of my life...I wonder....
...
School is starting soon. Bleahh, I don't want to go...yet I want to. It is not that I hate seeing my teachers, or even the HW...it is just that I don't know how things will work out this year, and I don't want to even IMAGINE if that which I wish to happen WILL happen...or won't.
I don't know where I am standing anymore. Who cares for me? Who is on my side, and who is actually pissed at me...for being myself?
Well...I know for sure one thing...
I want... very badly, I may add... someone to talk to.
About anything...and everything.
But really, what can I do? I must admit, I may be quite annoying sometimes. I know that. Sometimes being so hyper may be annoying. I know I may not be pretty, I mean, my hair is a mess, I am a genki crazy fangirl, and I like to write stupid bad poetry.
But...what can I do?
I know I have my good stuff too. I love to listen. I love to listen how a person is feeling. To help. To comfort. I want to make friends, to have a nice relationship with people, to make things better.
I am willing to trust someone everything, if that person learns to trust me too. I only want...I only wish I could understand myself a little better...
Is that hard? Maybe..maybe not.
But as far as I have seen, I am standing quite alone. Sure, I have my best friend. But, I can't be quite myself around her.
Why?
Well...I am a crazy, anime fangirl. I am a proud gamer. I love japan. Heck, instead of throwing a major party for my 15th B-day, I decided to go to Japan...
I can't tell her all of this, since she thinks anime and manga are childish. My mother tells me I am just different...but quite a fan, and that I should pipe down.
Well, I don't really care what they say. I am me. And only me.
And there is only one person like me in this whole world. There is only one Monse-chan. And I know, that deep inside myself, someone will be able to see through me, and find my true me.
That person will understand mu fears. My feelings. Me.
But, if this person will arrive sooner or later, I have NO idea.
So, while waiting for that person, I may as well face reality.
I am standing quite alone. But, hey, they say it is normal for someone to feel lonely every now and then.
Plus, I always have people I can rely to. My best friend may hate Manga, but she is a nice, trustful person.
For manga and stuff, I can count on sempaii-kun, who is also someone that I would trust almost everything, and whom I can rely on.
I also have you, minna-san. That even though you don't know me in real life, try to cheer me up, and care about me.. and accept me as I am...a crazy, major fangirl.
I have my family, who cares for me. I have so many people that care so much for me... and yet, I am so selfish.
Maybe it is the fact that I want to learn to love somebody...but am too scared..
A friend of mine posted my photo, and someone who didn't write his name wrote that I was pretty.
I admit it. I don't think I am pretty.
But, there they were. My best friend, laughing and telling me that this person though I was pretty...because I am! (which, is a lie)
The friend that posted the photo, telling me I am pretty.
Heck, even sempaii once said I was cute, no matter if I said I was not.
But, I think they are saying that only because they don't want me to feel bad. As for the person who I don't know who he is... the one that wrote I was pretty... I must say, it made me feel a bit better.
Well, I must say, lately ppl have tried to cheer me up. But what really struck me, was what an old guy friend I have not seen for 2 years, asked me if I had a bf.
I told him the thruth. Nope, I don't. And I have never had one. Ever.
What he said, I still remember:
"Well, that is quite weird. You are pretty, nice, fun to talk to, smart, and a gamer and anime* manga fan. Girls like you are very hard to find, and you are quite unique. I have never met another girl with a charm like yours. I have seen recent photos of you. You are beautiful"
Whoa. Talk about surprising. O.o
Hahaha, I am still in shock. I guess I am not that ugly, then ^^Uuu
Anywayz, I will stop boring you with all of this stuff. It is, after all, my LJ, and well, I will write my feelings and thoughts in here.
I will just say, I am quite nervous about tomorrow, seeing everybody again... I dunno. I hope this school year will turn out ok! ^^
Now, changing subject.....
I am Therru-chan. Really.
Her character... there is so much that reminds me of myself. Sure, I admit I went to see the movie in japanese. And heck, I understood almost nothing of it. ^^Uuu
But still...there was a special connection between the character and me. There... something. Maybe it was the song. Yup...I think it was the song. I admit, maybe a lot of poeple will get to feel this way, but I am sure I am the only one that fully understood the character. I don't know why, or how.
Maybe it was the pain, sadness...yet hope. Therru is someone who has been hurt. Half of her face bears a scar made of fire. She has suffered, and is afraid. And I find myself understanding her completely.
That is why I wanted to change my name to Therru-chan in this LJ ^^
with help from moezy-chan, I was able to do so ^^!!
I want to share the song with you, minna...it is just so beautiful... it is called "Therru's Song", and that it exactly is.
I will upload it later. But I will post the lyrics now.
Here they are:
yuuyami semaru kumo no ue
itsumo ichiwa de tondeiru
taka wa kitto kanashikarou
oto mo todaeta kaze no naka
sora wo tsukanda sono tsubasa
yasumerukoto wa dekinakute
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
taka no youna kono kokoro
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
sora wo mauyona kanashisawo
ame no sobofuru iwakageni
itsumo chiisaku saiteiru
hana wa kitto setsunakarou
iro mo kasunnda amenonaka
usumomoiro no hanabirawo
medetekureru temonakute
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
hana no youna kono kokoro
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
ame ni utareru setsunasawo
hitokage taeta no no michiwo
watashi to tomoni ayunderu
anata mo kitto samishikarou
mushi no sasayaku kusahara wo
tomoni michi yuku hitodakedo
taete mono iu kotomonaku
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
hitori michi yuku kono kokoro
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
hitoribocchi no samishisawo
Traductioon:
In the dusk behind the clouds
always alone a hawk is flying
He will surely be sad ...
In the wind where is no sound
His wings take the air
Not able to rest ...
How do I express
my mind like a hawk?
How do I express
my sadness which whirls in the sky?
Behind a rock in a drizzling,
The flower bloomed quietly.
She will surely be sad ...
Blurred in tha rain
No one admires
The pale pink petal
How do I express
my mind like a flower?
How do I express
my dreariness caught in the rain?
The path nobody passed
Walking on there with me
You are gonna be surely alone
On a prairie insects are chirping
We are making a journey together
without saying anything ...
How do I express
my mind goes alone?
How do I express
my loneliness left alone?
...
taken from : http://rose-rote.hp.infoseek.co.jp/miya/gedo/songofterru.htm
^^
I love this song. ^^!! Always hearing it before going to sleep, hehe ^^Uuu
Also, Arren...
I don't care if he is stupid. I don't care if his own shadow follows him...
I love Arren. Because, he is, after all...the one for Therru...
...
I wonder, will I ever find MY own Arren?
Now, minna-san...I am so sorry...
But, I guess my explanation for my trip in Japan will me some other day, since I am so tired at the moment.
Plus, I have to fix my stuff for the school thing tomorrow.
Love,
Therru-chan...
Edit: Oh, for those who want to add me at MSN, my mail is chokorita@hotmail.com! ^^Uu
I mean, why are some things the way they are?
Why can't people just bring themselves to be just a LITTLE bit more kind?
Why are sometimes feelings so hard to understand?
Why are there many questions that will never receive an answer?
WHY?
But I guess... sometimes, so many questions that will never get an answer, should never be asked after all, and stay as misteries...
Like what is going on inside myself at the moment.
Sometimes, I feel so happy and genki, full of energy and willing to make things better...but other times, it is just as if something inside myself...simply gives up.
So, at the moment I am just going through a very confusing time of my life...I wonder....
...
School is starting soon. Bleahh, I don't want to go...yet I want to. It is not that I hate seeing my teachers, or even the HW...it is just that I don't know how things will work out this year, and I don't want to even IMAGINE if that which I wish to happen WILL happen...or won't.
I don't know where I am standing anymore. Who cares for me? Who is on my side, and who is actually pissed at me...for being myself?
Well...I know for sure one thing...
I want... very badly, I may add... someone to talk to.
About anything...and everything.
But really, what can I do? I must admit, I may be quite annoying sometimes. I know that. Sometimes being so hyper may be annoying. I know I may not be pretty, I mean, my hair is a mess, I am a genki crazy fangirl, and I like to write stupid bad poetry.
But...what can I do?
I know I have my good stuff too. I love to listen. I love to listen how a person is feeling. To help. To comfort. I want to make friends, to have a nice relationship with people, to make things better.
I am willing to trust someone everything, if that person learns to trust me too. I only want...I only wish I could understand myself a little better...
Is that hard? Maybe..maybe not.
But as far as I have seen, I am standing quite alone. Sure, I have my best friend. But, I can't be quite myself around her.
Why?
Well...I am a crazy, anime fangirl. I am a proud gamer. I love japan. Heck, instead of throwing a major party for my 15th B-day, I decided to go to Japan...
I can't tell her all of this, since she thinks anime and manga are childish. My mother tells me I am just different...but quite a fan, and that I should pipe down.
Well, I don't really care what they say. I am me. And only me.
And there is only one person like me in this whole world. There is only one Monse-chan. And I know, that deep inside myself, someone will be able to see through me, and find my true me.
That person will understand mu fears. My feelings. Me.
But, if this person will arrive sooner or later, I have NO idea.
So, while waiting for that person, I may as well face reality.
I am standing quite alone. But, hey, they say it is normal for someone to feel lonely every now and then.
Plus, I always have people I can rely to. My best friend may hate Manga, but she is a nice, trustful person.
For manga and stuff, I can count on sempaii-kun, who is also someone that I would trust almost everything, and whom I can rely on.
I also have you, minna-san. That even though you don't know me in real life, try to cheer me up, and care about me.. and accept me as I am...a crazy, major fangirl.
I have my family, who cares for me. I have so many people that care so much for me... and yet, I am so selfish.
Maybe it is the fact that I want to learn to love somebody...but am too scared..
A friend of mine posted my photo, and someone who didn't write his name wrote that I was pretty.
I admit it. I don't think I am pretty.
But, there they were. My best friend, laughing and telling me that this person though I was pretty...because I am! (which, is a lie)
The friend that posted the photo, telling me I am pretty.
Heck, even sempaii once said I was cute, no matter if I said I was not.
But, I think they are saying that only because they don't want me to feel bad. As for the person who I don't know who he is... the one that wrote I was pretty... I must say, it made me feel a bit better.
Well, I must say, lately ppl have tried to cheer me up. But what really struck me, was what an old guy friend I have not seen for 2 years, asked me if I had a bf.
I told him the thruth. Nope, I don't. And I have never had one. Ever.
What he said, I still remember:
"Well, that is quite weird. You are pretty, nice, fun to talk to, smart, and a gamer and anime* manga fan. Girls like you are very hard to find, and you are quite unique. I have never met another girl with a charm like yours. I have seen recent photos of you. You are beautiful"
Whoa. Talk about surprising. O.o
Hahaha, I am still in shock. I guess I am not that ugly, then ^^Uuu
Anywayz, I will stop boring you with all of this stuff. It is, after all, my LJ, and well, I will write my feelings and thoughts in here.
I will just say, I am quite nervous about tomorrow, seeing everybody again... I dunno. I hope this school year will turn out ok! ^^
Now, changing subject.....
I am Therru-chan. Really.
Her character... there is so much that reminds me of myself. Sure, I admit I went to see the movie in japanese. And heck, I understood almost nothing of it. ^^Uuu
But still...there was a special connection between the character and me. There... something. Maybe it was the song. Yup...I think it was the song. I admit, maybe a lot of poeple will get to feel this way, but I am sure I am the only one that fully understood the character. I don't know why, or how.
Maybe it was the pain, sadness...yet hope. Therru is someone who has been hurt. Half of her face bears a scar made of fire. She has suffered, and is afraid. And I find myself understanding her completely.
That is why I wanted to change my name to Therru-chan in this LJ ^^
with help from moezy-chan, I was able to do so ^^!!
I want to share the song with you, minna...it is just so beautiful... it is called "Therru's Song", and that it exactly is.
I will upload it later. But I will post the lyrics now.
Here they are:
yuuyami semaru kumo no ue
itsumo ichiwa de tondeiru
taka wa kitto kanashikarou
oto mo todaeta kaze no naka
sora wo tsukanda sono tsubasa
yasumerukoto wa dekinakute
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
taka no youna kono kokoro
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
sora wo mauyona kanashisawo
ame no sobofuru iwakageni
itsumo chiisaku saiteiru
hana wa kitto setsunakarou
iro mo kasunnda amenonaka
usumomoiro no hanabirawo
medetekureru temonakute
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
hana no youna kono kokoro
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
ame ni utareru setsunasawo
hitokage taeta no no michiwo
watashi to tomoni ayunderu
anata mo kitto samishikarou
mushi no sasayaku kusahara wo
tomoni michi yuku hitodakedo
taete mono iu kotomonaku
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
hitori michi yuku kono kokoro
kokoro wo nani ni tatoeyou
hitoribocchi no samishisawo
Traductioon:
In the dusk behind the clouds
always alone a hawk is flying
He will surely be sad ...
In the wind where is no sound
His wings take the air
Not able to rest ...
How do I express
my mind like a hawk?
How do I express
my sadness which whirls in the sky?
Behind a rock in a drizzling,
The flower bloomed quietly.
She will surely be sad ...
Blurred in tha rain
No one admires
The pale pink petal
How do I express
my mind like a flower?
How do I express
my dreariness caught in the rain?
The path nobody passed
Walking on there with me
You are gonna be surely alone
On a prairie insects are chirping
We are making a journey together
without saying anything ...
How do I express
my mind goes alone?
How do I express
my loneliness left alone?
...
taken from : http://rose-rote.hp.infoseek.co.jp/miya/gedo/songofterru.htm
^^
I love this song. ^^!! Always hearing it before going to sleep, hehe ^^Uuu
Also, Arren...
I don't care if he is stupid. I don't care if his own shadow follows him...
I love Arren. Because, he is, after all...the one for Therru...
...
I wonder, will I ever find MY own Arren?
Now, minna-san...I am so sorry...
But, I guess my explanation for my trip in Japan will me some other day, since I am so tired at the moment.
Plus, I have to fix my stuff for the school thing tomorrow.
Love,
Therru-chan...
Edit: Oh, for those who want to add me at MSN, my mail is chokorita@hotmail.com! ^^Uu