Fic: Speed of Falling

[shizuke]

Title: Speed of Falling
Fandom: STXI
Pairing: Spork!
Rating: PG (I think...)
Summary: "He's going 125 miles per hour and the wind is whipping so hard around his ears, he screams just to be able to hear himself."
Notes: Heh, this came out of nowhere.

Comments

[xlcatloveress]

Wow .. this reads very real, very true to the broken character Jim is presented as - and the emotions that build up within him can be fully shared by the reader. You can immerse yourself in their suffocating heaviness, lose yourself within the labyrinth of self-doubt that holds Jim captive .. and the release at the end, where he breaks and thrashes and at the same time is SO desperate to be saved is both heart-breaking and oh-so-tender in how Spock delivers exactly what he needs. The sheer amount of emotion you manage to portray in that thrashing scene alone is breath-taking and your story takes the reader for an amazing ride through the mind-scape of a Jim Kirk who doesn't rest as much within himself as he tends to make people believe, or as did his Prime counterpart. I thoroughly enjoyed your fic and would love to read more of your writing :)

There is one teeny tiny thing that threw me out of the reading pleasure of this fic for a moment or two, and that is when you gave us an omniscient storyteller, an I-perspective where the rest of the narrative was given as an impersonal 'he'-structure (which I think works best for these kinds of fics anyway). Might just be me, but I find it jarring when a storyteller unexpectedly and unnecessarily breaks the fourth wall and out of the blue addresses his or her readers with a half-sentence like 'but I digress'. You did manage to recapture me immediately and I didn't remain thrown out of the fic for very long ;)

[shizuke]

*glee* your feedback just made my evening and filed away my doubts about this story! I'm so glad you liked it.

And yes, I have to agree with you about that bit about the perspective. I didn't really realise that bump in rhythm was bonking my head when you mentioned it, lol. Imma gonna go and fix it now.

Thanks for the honest feedback!

[xlcatloveress]

*loves your icon* (actually, both your icons, the drawn Spock one and my dear li'l celebrity crush there ;) )

I'm glad you enjoyed my feedback and my little bit of concrit didn't rub you the wrong way. :) I really wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your writing, and it would have sucked had this added comment ruined the warm fuzzies I was throwing your way ;)

[shizuke]

lol, no way! I love constructive criticism!

And drawn spock is by smartass89. Her Pinto/Spork fanart have been taking over lately, lol! And yay for another Jimmy Marsden fangirl! He deserves more love <3

(friend?)

[xlcatloveress]

Sure thing on the friending :D I'm just trawling through your journal, reading your fics ;) Totally captivated by Blurring Realities! Damn! Talk about an interesting read! :D *heads off to friend you*

And yes, James Marsden definitely deserves all the love he can get :)