(no subject)
i have a new found love for my boyfriend. i dunno what it is but i am determined to be happy, and he gets me there...weird.
i'm on a rollercoaster about jack. i never believed it could have happened, and then it got way too real...now i feel like i've convinced myself he is okay again. i'm just refusing to see it. lately i avoid looking at pictures of him, talking about things that remind me of him..
but i know he's gone. i know it in my mind but my heart isn't listening and i don't know how to feel. of course talking about the heart and about the mind as two separate entities that think for themselves is ridiculous; the brain fires neurotransmitters and the heart pumps blood. end of story.
so why can't i figure out what the hell is going on? jack would probably tell me to shut up about it. so that's what i'll do.
i'm on a rollercoaster about jack. i never believed it could have happened, and then it got way too real...now i feel like i've convinced myself he is okay again. i'm just refusing to see it. lately i avoid looking at pictures of him, talking about things that remind me of him..
but i know he's gone. i know it in my mind but my heart isn't listening and i don't know how to feel. of course talking about the heart and about the mind as two separate entities that think for themselves is ridiculous; the brain fires neurotransmitters and the heart pumps blood. end of story.
so why can't i figure out what the hell is going on? jack would probably tell me to shut up about it. so that's what i'll do.