A Much-needed Vent
We said we would be friends for a long time, but here we are, split apart. I ended this futile friendship. What was I to you? A tool? A game? You confused me so much. It seemed at times like you really cared about me. You were there for me when times got tough. You were my shoulder to cry on, and cry on I did. But now...here we are. Broken.
You said you wouldn't lie to me, because there would be nothing to lie to me about. But lie to me, you did. Yes, there were times when you told me you had lied to me. It upset me and you told me that I shouldn't hold it against you, since in the end, you had told me you lied to me. I forgave you those times. But this time, the last time that you would ever lie to me...that was the last straw.
I trusted you. Yet you told people things that I told you not to say to anyone else. Why did I put up with the bullshit like that? Was it because my feelings for you were clouding my judgement?
I thought you fucking cared about me! But we fought too fucking much, and it drove me to my breaking point! You and I laughed whenever you played games with other people, pretending to talk to them like you liked them, but on the inside, you fucking hated their guts. Is that what you did to me? Played with me? Made me feel like you really gave two shits about me, just to take advantage of me?
I was lost, and confused about you. I still don't know what it was about you that made me fall for you, but I'm getting over those silly little feelings. After all, you could never love me, right? You're straight. Yeah, and pigs can fly. Make up all of the excuses you want, but I know you have, or had, feelings for me.
I think you need to figure yourself out, and work out those self esteem issues that you think you don't have, but you do. Everyone sees you as a little tramp. I tried to protect you from projecting that image, but you pushed me away all the time, and yelled at me. So you know what? Fuck you. FUCK. YOU!!!
Why did I stay friends with you? Pity? Feelings? I can't even fucking stand looking at your face anymore! Just get out of my life!
You betrayed me. You lied to me. You hurt me. You said you loved me. Did you, really? Because you really had a fucked up way of showing it. Yeah, I saw your strengths and weaknesses, but you never truly opened up to me. That's all I really ever wanted from you. To just be honest. You were too honest sometimes. Showing your anger when you were upset with me, which was just about every fucking day.
I bet you regret it now, don't you? I see the glances you try to sneak when you think I'm not paying attention. Are you trying to break me? Do you think I'll come running back, on my knees, and apologize my heart out and beg you to give me another chance? FUCK no. I was a true friend to you all the time. I never lied to you. If I had some money left in my pocket, and you needed gas, I gave it to you without a second thought. And what did you do for me in return? Treat me like shit.
I want you out of my head, and out of my life. You lost something that could have been special, or was. You took me for granted. And I finally saw you for who you were. I ended the friendship before I got stuck even more. Just.......leave me alone. I don't need you.
You said you wouldn't lie to me, because there would be nothing to lie to me about. But lie to me, you did. Yes, there were times when you told me you had lied to me. It upset me and you told me that I shouldn't hold it against you, since in the end, you had told me you lied to me. I forgave you those times. But this time, the last time that you would ever lie to me...that was the last straw.
I trusted you. Yet you told people things that I told you not to say to anyone else. Why did I put up with the bullshit like that? Was it because my feelings for you were clouding my judgement?
I thought you fucking cared about me! But we fought too fucking much, and it drove me to my breaking point! You and I laughed whenever you played games with other people, pretending to talk to them like you liked them, but on the inside, you fucking hated their guts. Is that what you did to me? Played with me? Made me feel like you really gave two shits about me, just to take advantage of me?
I was lost, and confused about you. I still don't know what it was about you that made me fall for you, but I'm getting over those silly little feelings. After all, you could never love me, right? You're straight. Yeah, and pigs can fly. Make up all of the excuses you want, but I know you have, or had, feelings for me.
I think you need to figure yourself out, and work out those self esteem issues that you think you don't have, but you do. Everyone sees you as a little tramp. I tried to protect you from projecting that image, but you pushed me away all the time, and yelled at me. So you know what? Fuck you. FUCK. YOU!!!
Why did I stay friends with you? Pity? Feelings? I can't even fucking stand looking at your face anymore! Just get out of my life!
You betrayed me. You lied to me. You hurt me. You said you loved me. Did you, really? Because you really had a fucked up way of showing it. Yeah, I saw your strengths and weaknesses, but you never truly opened up to me. That's all I really ever wanted from you. To just be honest. You were too honest sometimes. Showing your anger when you were upset with me, which was just about every fucking day.
I bet you regret it now, don't you? I see the glances you try to sneak when you think I'm not paying attention. Are you trying to break me? Do you think I'll come running back, on my knees, and apologize my heart out and beg you to give me another chance? FUCK no. I was a true friend to you all the time. I never lied to you. If I had some money left in my pocket, and you needed gas, I gave it to you without a second thought. And what did you do for me in return? Treat me like shit.
I want you out of my head, and out of my life. You lost something that could have been special, or was. You took me for granted. And I finally saw you for who you were. I ended the friendship before I got stuck even more. Just.......leave me alone. I don't need you.