How Nice It Is Right Where I'm Standin
I'm not sure how often I've said recently that this or that has been a step back for me. It seems like every other day the cliché comes about. Though I've sought to avoid letting my lj turn into some crybaby utterance of how the exaggerated trouble pains me, I'll allow myself this "therapy."
I won't divulge my entire current status but nevertheless I'm in the last place I ever hoped, planned, or thought I'd inhabit free of suicide. I feel like I'm back to square <1. Strangely though, I don't feel outwardly upset or moved. I'm just sort of numb to it all.
I used to think it was scary when I couldn't envision the future despite a set living. Now the horizon's even less apparent and I've got nothing working. I'm waiting to hear about financial aid, but unless they endow me with over 3 grand in less then a week, school's out. That considered, my present associate's degree isn't worth a nickel or a wish. I still don't have a job and I'm in debt.
So far away from dreams...
In addition, three months without activity (mainly hockey) has left my physical state rather lacking. I'd like to blame it on my absence but truthfully, it started long before. I scaled myself Sunday morning at the heaviest I've ever been in my life. The nutty thing about it though is that the next morning I jogged for about 1.8 miles and somehow shaved almost ten pounds. I think my weight's out of whack.
I don't plan on settling though. I'm out to drop about twenty when all is said and done. My hockey performance has deteriorated considerably and it sickens me.
Despite that though, I did score a goal in my first game back. We still lost 6-3 largely due to the fact I lost a bolt in my front wheel and missed about four minutes near the end with repairs. We had no subs and they scored two while I was off.
Though I've unproductively slothed away my days, I have found the energy to get right pissed at the US's current political posturing. I would get peeved by the presidential race, but anyone who takes that garbage seriously is just delusional. I don't care about clowns competing for parts in the circus so why should I bother with a mudslinging battle between the republican anti-christ and a barely democratic wolf in sheep's clothing bearer of liberal naïveté. They'll both fuck us. The only difference will be the varying scale of disappointment expressed by leftists should Obama get crowned. All that aside...
I'm at least a little comforted to hear Jon Stewart and Mike Gravel point out the US hypocrisy in berating Russia's campaign in Georgia when one can clearly see the parallels in the Iraq invasion. I'm waiting for more to speak up.
I got to thinking about the issue. One of the big reasons the Iraq war backers supported staying was that should we up and leave the country would fall to terrorists and neighboring territories would follow suit, the domino effect. Well, while Russia's intentions likely vary from ours or the Taliban or whoever, maybe this is the real domino effect. If anyone bothered to listen, Russian leaders used the same tired excuses to justify attacking Georgia that the US did in invading Iraq. They needed to protect their citizens in Chechnya and secure their national security, just like us.
So then I have to ask, especially since it's been well documented that Georgia was the initial aggressor, why is what Russia did so wrong?
I'm in no way supporting them or making apologies. I'm simply saying yet again, why does the US think they can do whatever they want and then criticize others for the same things? I believe the administration is further stretching an already dangerously thin credibility. People around the world have to be conscious of the double standard. I know the US media can't censor all the news.
And I wonder if anyone read that Mccain's foreign adviser was up until recently a paid lobbyist for Georgia. Guess why he's so adamant about supporting them.
Politicians are bought and paid for, plain and simple.
Yuck. I'm done ranting.
But still, the more information I absorb, the more I want to get the fuck out of this country as soon as possible. It's bad enough that the government's so evil. It plain breaks my heart that hardly anyone I know gives a damn. Oh they'll stay interested enough to cling to notions of hope and change, but they won't actually investigate or follow their candidate's voting record.
Here comes Big Oil!
I won't divulge my entire current status but nevertheless I'm in the last place I ever hoped, planned, or thought I'd inhabit free of suicide. I feel like I'm back to square <1. Strangely though, I don't feel outwardly upset or moved. I'm just sort of numb to it all.
I used to think it was scary when I couldn't envision the future despite a set living. Now the horizon's even less apparent and I've got nothing working. I'm waiting to hear about financial aid, but unless they endow me with over 3 grand in less then a week, school's out. That considered, my present associate's degree isn't worth a nickel or a wish. I still don't have a job and I'm in debt.
So far away from dreams...
In addition, three months without activity (mainly hockey) has left my physical state rather lacking. I'd like to blame it on my absence but truthfully, it started long before. I scaled myself Sunday morning at the heaviest I've ever been in my life. The nutty thing about it though is that the next morning I jogged for about 1.8 miles and somehow shaved almost ten pounds. I think my weight's out of whack.
I don't plan on settling though. I'm out to drop about twenty when all is said and done. My hockey performance has deteriorated considerably and it sickens me.
Despite that though, I did score a goal in my first game back. We still lost 6-3 largely due to the fact I lost a bolt in my front wheel and missed about four minutes near the end with repairs. We had no subs and they scored two while I was off.
Though I've unproductively slothed away my days, I have found the energy to get right pissed at the US's current political posturing. I would get peeved by the presidential race, but anyone who takes that garbage seriously is just delusional. I don't care about clowns competing for parts in the circus so why should I bother with a mudslinging battle between the republican anti-christ and a barely democratic wolf in sheep's clothing bearer of liberal naïveté. They'll both fuck us. The only difference will be the varying scale of disappointment expressed by leftists should Obama get crowned. All that aside...
I'm at least a little comforted to hear Jon Stewart and Mike Gravel point out the US hypocrisy in berating Russia's campaign in Georgia when one can clearly see the parallels in the Iraq invasion. I'm waiting for more to speak up.
I got to thinking about the issue. One of the big reasons the Iraq war backers supported staying was that should we up and leave the country would fall to terrorists and neighboring territories would follow suit, the domino effect. Well, while Russia's intentions likely vary from ours or the Taliban or whoever, maybe this is the real domino effect. If anyone bothered to listen, Russian leaders used the same tired excuses to justify attacking Georgia that the US did in invading Iraq. They needed to protect their citizens in Chechnya and secure their national security, just like us.
So then I have to ask, especially since it's been well documented that Georgia was the initial aggressor, why is what Russia did so wrong?
I'm in no way supporting them or making apologies. I'm simply saying yet again, why does the US think they can do whatever they want and then criticize others for the same things? I believe the administration is further stretching an already dangerously thin credibility. People around the world have to be conscious of the double standard. I know the US media can't censor all the news.
And I wonder if anyone read that Mccain's foreign adviser was up until recently a paid lobbyist for Georgia. Guess why he's so adamant about supporting them.
Politicians are bought and paid for, plain and simple.
Yuck. I'm done ranting.
But still, the more information I absorb, the more I want to get the fuck out of this country as soon as possible. It's bad enough that the government's so evil. It plain breaks my heart that hardly anyone I know gives a damn. Oh they'll stay interested enough to cling to notions of hope and change, but they won't actually investigate or follow their candidate's voting record.
Here comes Big Oil!