(no subject)
NOTE: the ingredients of this poem where far from natural feeling...
*Pain Killers
*Steroids
*Exhaustion
*Pain in general
I guess I am just feeling low.
But I don't believe I have felt this low in a while.
Time is dragging so very slowly.
I'm tired of attacks and loneliness I cannot break.
I don't know how I even thought you'd hold onto me.
No one ever does, I'm nothing, lower.
Today's tears come with no warning, no hint of arrival.
Helpless, sunken, unmotivated in countless ways.
I want a lover, I want a Friend, I want someone to care, to feel and understand.
I need an escape, I ask for little.
A call, a first move, something to give me some hope, a smile.
This courage of mine is softly declining.
Silence comes in variables where sleep is harder to find.
I've become pathetic.
Clenching for a signal, refusing to let go of my only outlet.
I'm begging to be given a chance to answer, even when it kills me to speak.
I know you swear it's different,
but to me it's always the same.
I'm left in a struggle, foolish cries.
They walk on, with small regrets and meaningless memories.
I'll never find it, the word, the feeling I cannot say.
It's fake, nothing can be that true and if so,
It's just not meant to find me.
I'm sure of it.
This certainty has settled in long ago.
To this day, It's only been proven more right.
More lies, more pain.
Some days I feel even more lonely when your beside me.
*Pain Killers
*Steroids
*Exhaustion
*Pain in general
I guess I am just feeling low.
But I don't believe I have felt this low in a while.
Time is dragging so very slowly.
I'm tired of attacks and loneliness I cannot break.
I don't know how I even thought you'd hold onto me.
No one ever does, I'm nothing, lower.
Today's tears come with no warning, no hint of arrival.
Helpless, sunken, unmotivated in countless ways.
I want a lover, I want a Friend, I want someone to care, to feel and understand.
I need an escape, I ask for little.
A call, a first move, something to give me some hope, a smile.
This courage of mine is softly declining.
Silence comes in variables where sleep is harder to find.
I've become pathetic.
Clenching for a signal, refusing to let go of my only outlet.
I'm begging to be given a chance to answer, even when it kills me to speak.
I know you swear it's different,
but to me it's always the same.
I'm left in a struggle, foolish cries.
They walk on, with small regrets and meaningless memories.
I'll never find it, the word, the feeling I cannot say.
It's fake, nothing can be that true and if so,
It's just not meant to find me.
I'm sure of it.
This certainty has settled in long ago.
To this day, It's only been proven more right.
More lies, more pain.
Some days I feel even more lonely when your beside me.