(no subject)
i'm currently suffering from what i can only describe as an odd migratory urge. every six months or so, i seem to take a step back, breathe and take stock of my life. and i always come up missing something. i feel as though i'm not supposed to be here, that i'm actually supposed to be somewhere else entirely. i usually appease this feeling with a lot of driving randomly around-- i feel like i'm going somewhere, so it stills that need to constantly move.
i was driving around tonight, down some strange back road in langley, and i suddenly started to think about what would happen if i just packed my things, loaded my horse in the trailer and drove off somewhere. every other time i entertained this thought, i would always shut it down, saying, 'i would never do this to my horse, he'd be terribly unhappy, i couldn't afford it, i'd never make it'. i'd tell myself that when i finally had to put him down, i'd go.
but i'm slowly coming to realize that he's not actually going anywhere. i'm not going to lose him in the next few months. and maybe he'd enjoy moving just as much as i would.
i was driving around tonight, down some strange back road in langley, and i suddenly started to think about what would happen if i just packed my things, loaded my horse in the trailer and drove off somewhere. every other time i entertained this thought, i would always shut it down, saying, 'i would never do this to my horse, he'd be terribly unhappy, i couldn't afford it, i'd never make it'. i'd tell myself that when i finally had to put him down, i'd go.
but i'm slowly coming to realize that he's not actually going anywhere. i'm not going to lose him in the next few months. and maybe he'd enjoy moving just as much as i would.