Io Baubo.
He looks at me; sincere concern in his eyes. Not just that I didn't say hello to him, but that he saw my blank stare, wandering overwhelmed through the sea of dancers, lost and looking to lay anchor so I don't fall.
Sunken low in a seat, somewhere quiet, he is concerned and inquires if I'm okay.
I have made a promise to never answer this question in falsity...
'No.' A shake of my head and the waiting. The waiting for him to ask the question I don't want to answer.
'What's wrong?'
A grimace from me and all of the experiences of the last two weeks begin to flicker in my eyes, so vivid and complex that he can't catch them.
I know not where to begin and see his ADD eyes dart all around him, noticing everything.
The most tactful way I can with a grimace passing for good nature
"My dear, you would lose interest before I even got you caught up."
Confusion in his eyes, he wants to b the ear and shoulder of perspective understanding; almost reputation.
"Try Me." with a concerned smile.
My turn to emote with a rebuttal; an exhausted sigh and worrisome eyes 'I can't go into it; I'm sorry, there's too much.'
Understanding crosses his; in actuality, its not him. It's me.
I can't explain Spring Mysteries and the heartbreak adjacent and intertwined with it; I can't explain the reemergence of Steaksauce & the drop of the next steps I'm not ready to take. Not here, not now, this is a fun and social environment..not the place for my current state.
Catatonia being better; I let him leave me, promising to find him when I'm ready.
I slip back into the flickering film reel in my head; not noticing the black clad, wine scented goddess vessel floating toward me.
Dark and earthen, voluptuous and vibrating with energy, gyrating with ectasy.
Dark Red wine swirling in the bottom of a deep glass.
She smiles, all knowledge and glittering nose ring.
"How you doing?"
I shake my head; she knows why. She knows the perspective of where I'm coming from and walked part of the path with me.
She grabs the side of my head and leans my face toward her tender, looks into my eyes.
"I love you, Koe."
and kisses me.
"I love you, Cassie."
and she kisses me.
"I'm sorry we had to go to that place; but we've cut our red ribbons, we are free."
I close my eyes and nod in appreciation.
"Thank the gods."
And as I open them again, she is gone with the music, she is gyrating to her own version of the rythym and thrumming with it, all the way down to her bones.
She bends over toward me; shakes her hair into face and bosoms bouncing, gone mad.
And something breaks within me; that hold that had become entangled in a moment where it didn't belong; the only thing before pure light and unashame.
I step into it with a laugh, breaking the cracks in my face, letting the dark fall away and joy filling its space.
I laugh at her unintentional behest, compersive to her experience.
She sets her eyes upon me and we laugh, loud and obnoxious and as I intake another breath
"Io Baubo!"
Io, Io Baubo!
Sunken low in a seat, somewhere quiet, he is concerned and inquires if I'm okay.
I have made a promise to never answer this question in falsity...
'No.' A shake of my head and the waiting. The waiting for him to ask the question I don't want to answer.
'What's wrong?'
A grimace from me and all of the experiences of the last two weeks begin to flicker in my eyes, so vivid and complex that he can't catch them.
I know not where to begin and see his ADD eyes dart all around him, noticing everything.
The most tactful way I can with a grimace passing for good nature
"My dear, you would lose interest before I even got you caught up."
Confusion in his eyes, he wants to b the ear and shoulder of perspective understanding; almost reputation.
"Try Me." with a concerned smile.
My turn to emote with a rebuttal; an exhausted sigh and worrisome eyes 'I can't go into it; I'm sorry, there's too much.'
Understanding crosses his; in actuality, its not him. It's me.
I can't explain Spring Mysteries and the heartbreak adjacent and intertwined with it; I can't explain the reemergence of Steaksauce & the drop of the next steps I'm not ready to take. Not here, not now, this is a fun and social environment..not the place for my current state.
Catatonia being better; I let him leave me, promising to find him when I'm ready.
I slip back into the flickering film reel in my head; not noticing the black clad, wine scented goddess vessel floating toward me.
Dark and earthen, voluptuous and vibrating with energy, gyrating with ectasy.
Dark Red wine swirling in the bottom of a deep glass.
She smiles, all knowledge and glittering nose ring.
"How you doing?"
I shake my head; she knows why. She knows the perspective of where I'm coming from and walked part of the path with me.
She grabs the side of my head and leans my face toward her tender, looks into my eyes.
"I love you, Koe."
and kisses me.
"I love you, Cassie."
and she kisses me.
"I'm sorry we had to go to that place; but we've cut our red ribbons, we are free."
I close my eyes and nod in appreciation.
"Thank the gods."
And as I open them again, she is gone with the music, she is gyrating to her own version of the rythym and thrumming with it, all the way down to her bones.
She bends over toward me; shakes her hair into face and bosoms bouncing, gone mad.
And something breaks within me; that hold that had become entangled in a moment where it didn't belong; the only thing before pure light and unashame.
I step into it with a laugh, breaking the cracks in my face, letting the dark fall away and joy filling its space.
I laugh at her unintentional behest, compersive to her experience.
She sets her eyes upon me and we laugh, loud and obnoxious and as I intake another breath
"Io Baubo!"
Io, Io Baubo!