Wild Nights and Tame Convictions
Well, my delicious friends, I have yet another grrrreat post for you this very early morning.
Have you ever felt like throwing caution to the wind? There have been times where I would have loved to lose my conscience and run naked down the beach or through a supermarket. I would have loved to sleep with this friend persona or that persona, not because I feel attatched to them, but just for the hell of it. You know, meet someone at the bar and go with the flow. Let them hit on you and enjoy it for once without being so coy. Or maybe just with a friend once or twice. No strings. No commitment. No relationship. Just...letting one's self go. Of course, I have never done any of that, which is probably why I envy it so much. Like Emily Dickenson said, "Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeeded".
There is also another lesson to be learned here. Ponder on this one for awhile: "I am afraid that if I let myself go, I will never get me back."
That is a major reason why I never have done any of that stuff. I feel I might like it too much. I might never be me again, but the self-indulging swine whore who eats from all the tables and says "I have done nothing wrong".
In fact, I believe that is the main appeal in the temptation of letting myself go. I know it is wrong, and therefore I want to experience it. I know it is immature, but something so imbedded in us that we cannot ignor it. Eve and Adam were thrust out of Eden because of this "childish" nerve.
"Wild nights--Wild nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!
Futile--the Winds--
To a Heart in port--
Done with the Compass--
Done with the Chart!
Rowing in Eden--
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor--Tonight--
In Thee!"
-Emily Dickenson
Have you ever felt like throwing caution to the wind? There have been times where I would have loved to lose my conscience and run naked down the beach or through a supermarket. I would have loved to sleep with this friend persona or that persona, not because I feel attatched to them, but just for the hell of it. You know, meet someone at the bar and go with the flow. Let them hit on you and enjoy it for once without being so coy. Or maybe just with a friend once or twice. No strings. No commitment. No relationship. Just...letting one's self go. Of course, I have never done any of that, which is probably why I envy it so much. Like Emily Dickenson said, "Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeeded".
There is also another lesson to be learned here. Ponder on this one for awhile: "I am afraid that if I let myself go, I will never get me back."
That is a major reason why I never have done any of that stuff. I feel I might like it too much. I might never be me again, but the self-indulging swine whore who eats from all the tables and says "I have done nothing wrong".
In fact, I believe that is the main appeal in the temptation of letting myself go. I know it is wrong, and therefore I want to experience it. I know it is immature, but something so imbedded in us that we cannot ignor it. Eve and Adam were thrust out of Eden because of this "childish" nerve.
"Wild nights--Wild nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!
Futile--the Winds--
To a Heart in port--
Done with the Compass--
Done with the Chart!
Rowing in Eden--
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor--Tonight--
In Thee!"
-Emily Dickenson