it's so hard.
i dunno. elena's changing. or has changed. i'm sitting here now typing this up and listening to her playing her radio of some sort (as i'm certain am nor fm play electronica for this long) at louder than normal volumes. all i can assume is she's doing this to spite me or christen is in there.
i mentioned a long time ago in some myspace bulletin that i was curious about what goes on in her mind. at the time i said that with cheerful intent. whatever's going on in that cranium of hers now, i'm no longer interested in nor do i think i'll find anything to be cheery about if it were spilled out in front of me through that gate of filth and negativity she calls a mouth.
seriously, what happened to her? she was the one and only crackhead i knew and one that defied the stereotypical "crackhead" embedded into everyone head. but now she's sinking to that level and i'm starting to wonder if i'm currently just experiencing another stereotypical crackhead in the making.
it's not that crackwhore suddenly became psycho or crazy. other than what i've come to consider her normal destructiveness, she isn't showing any signs of becoming more violent. it's just she's suddenly so selfish and negative. her conversations with karen really compliment her manipulative side. she didn't fuck ruthan just like she didn't fuck christen. and she never exhaled cuz she doesn't have a penis to begin with. whatever it is that ana told karen is completely irrelevant as karen comes into the picture far after ruthans chapter(s) and if karen feels there's still something going on between elena and ruthan, well, shit, respect her opinions and leave ana out of it! and if anything elena's next move should be to prove to karen that she's wrong by example, not by turning the arguments against her by transposing her failings with a certain shawn and male tendencies to ogle over girls.
yes we do that in the presence of nicely shaped boobs. yes, girls do that too. karen likes the attention she's getting and if you're questioning any of these facts, you need to wake up and get with the program because it's not within your power to change them.
so i feel like i'm getting all uptight about shit that's not my business. it isn't and i turn a deaf ear to a lot of the shit i hear behind closed doors and through paper-thin walls. as a roommate, all that matters is household issues. however, as a friend, it's difficult not getting involved in matters i don't agree with and as it stands, both karen and elena were close friends of mine. my opinion of elena probably wouldn't have changed much if:
1) i didn't know karen.
2) i never heard the conversations between the two or what elena says about karen to others.
3) karen had a personality that matched elenas
to make matters worse, elena's decided to carve ana out of her life. now i'm stuck back in the surreal house predicament that we ran away from. so i decided the mellowest course of action would be to just treat elena as a stranger roomie and let things settle. conversations were kept clean-cut, no borrowing/owing money, no informing each other of weekend events everyone's going to, just rent money.
then elena had to bring christen into the picture, whom, i can only guess, is elena's answer to karen's shawn. shortly after, elena and karen broke up and elena would stride in with christen prancing around her heels. the moochy details aside, this came about during my ot days in june and i needed my sleep. they'd stay up late wrestling and elena's sneering stories about karen seriously kept me furious as i tried to sleep next to them. it got to the point where i had to tell elena to never bring her to our house again and surprisingly, elena complied with no resistance.
a few weeks pass and suddenly, karen appears at our house. they addressed each other with "babe" and "honey" and it was obvious they were back together again. i wasn't sure what to make of this but in all honesty, there was a part of me that sighed with relief and hoped things would go back to normal again. later that night, i wake up to them arguing in their room. (personal info omitted) things weren't looking too cute so i went out to fill my tank and when i came back, i hear "oh shit!!" followed by some awkward rustling of clothes and the thumping of hard rubbery things falling to the carpet. break up, make up, fight, fuck. roll eyes.
the next DAY, i come home to eddie holding his birthday party and elena's sitting there next to the beer with none other than christen on her lap. quickly, i measure out 2 minutes, act up a cover story, and excuse myself. i sleep better in my car.
the following night, elena comes home rather late and she's talking on the phone. she's complaining about how hard her life is. how everyone's making it hard for her. how hard she's trying. so fuckin hard. shawn's name comes up. and ana's. i heard my own name in there once or twice. she mentions how she feels like everywhere she goes, she feels like everyone's listening in on her, recording her. for a second, i felt like it was wrong that i remember much of what she says as i'm essentially recording too...
i dunno. now i'm tired. apparently i'm sick of elena and her twisted principles. she's not a bad roommate by any measure but i can't sit here and tolerate this much longer.
i mentioned a long time ago in some myspace bulletin that i was curious about what goes on in her mind. at the time i said that with cheerful intent. whatever's going on in that cranium of hers now, i'm no longer interested in nor do i think i'll find anything to be cheery about if it were spilled out in front of me through that gate of filth and negativity she calls a mouth.
seriously, what happened to her? she was the one and only crackhead i knew and one that defied the stereotypical "crackhead" embedded into everyone head. but now she's sinking to that level and i'm starting to wonder if i'm currently just experiencing another stereotypical crackhead in the making.
it's not that crackwhore suddenly became psycho or crazy. other than what i've come to consider her normal destructiveness, she isn't showing any signs of becoming more violent. it's just she's suddenly so selfish and negative. her conversations with karen really compliment her manipulative side. she didn't fuck ruthan just like she didn't fuck christen. and she never exhaled cuz she doesn't have a penis to begin with. whatever it is that ana told karen is completely irrelevant as karen comes into the picture far after ruthans chapter(s) and if karen feels there's still something going on between elena and ruthan, well, shit, respect her opinions and leave ana out of it! and if anything elena's next move should be to prove to karen that she's wrong by example, not by turning the arguments against her by transposing her failings with a certain shawn and male tendencies to ogle over girls.
yes we do that in the presence of nicely shaped boobs. yes, girls do that too. karen likes the attention she's getting and if you're questioning any of these facts, you need to wake up and get with the program because it's not within your power to change them.
so i feel like i'm getting all uptight about shit that's not my business. it isn't and i turn a deaf ear to a lot of the shit i hear behind closed doors and through paper-thin walls. as a roommate, all that matters is household issues. however, as a friend, it's difficult not getting involved in matters i don't agree with and as it stands, both karen and elena were close friends of mine. my opinion of elena probably wouldn't have changed much if:
1) i didn't know karen.
2) i never heard the conversations between the two or what elena says about karen to others.
3) karen had a personality that matched elenas
to make matters worse, elena's decided to carve ana out of her life. now i'm stuck back in the surreal house predicament that we ran away from. so i decided the mellowest course of action would be to just treat elena as a stranger roomie and let things settle. conversations were kept clean-cut, no borrowing/owing money, no informing each other of weekend events everyone's going to, just rent money.
then elena had to bring christen into the picture, whom, i can only guess, is elena's answer to karen's shawn. shortly after, elena and karen broke up and elena would stride in with christen prancing around her heels. the moochy details aside, this came about during my ot days in june and i needed my sleep. they'd stay up late wrestling and elena's sneering stories about karen seriously kept me furious as i tried to sleep next to them. it got to the point where i had to tell elena to never bring her to our house again and surprisingly, elena complied with no resistance.
a few weeks pass and suddenly, karen appears at our house. they addressed each other with "babe" and "honey" and it was obvious they were back together again. i wasn't sure what to make of this but in all honesty, there was a part of me that sighed with relief and hoped things would go back to normal again. later that night, i wake up to them arguing in their room. (personal info omitted) things weren't looking too cute so i went out to fill my tank and when i came back, i hear "oh shit!!" followed by some awkward rustling of clothes and the thumping of hard rubbery things falling to the carpet. break up, make up, fight, fuck. roll eyes.
the next DAY, i come home to eddie holding his birthday party and elena's sitting there next to the beer with none other than christen on her lap. quickly, i measure out 2 minutes, act up a cover story, and excuse myself. i sleep better in my car.
the following night, elena comes home rather late and she's talking on the phone. she's complaining about how hard her life is. how everyone's making it hard for her. how hard she's trying. so fuckin hard. shawn's name comes up. and ana's. i heard my own name in there once or twice. she mentions how she feels like everywhere she goes, she feels like everyone's listening in on her, recording her. for a second, i felt like it was wrong that i remember much of what she says as i'm essentially recording too...
i dunno. now i'm tired. apparently i'm sick of elena and her twisted principles. she's not a bad roommate by any measure but i can't sit here and tolerate this much longer.