Swirlling about. . .
Past Regrets and Their Many Friends
In my head you sit and pout
Cutting deep causing doubt
You're happiness my lonely cost
Certainly you are lost
My pain your dirty pleasure
My fear your only treasure
Find solace there in desuetude
From now on I'm done with you
I'll never be free of them, but I can do much to remind myself of what they are. The only power they could have is power I would bestow upon them. Alone, in their form, they have nothing. Only after feeding and nurturing do they take a shape of power and hunger. I know this. I know this all too well. I will not permit it this time. This time, their power will not manifest. It will not drive a wedge in my soul. Instead it will only strengthen my resolve. It will become the stitches which close wounds not the knife that opens them.
There will always be many things we wish to change. There will always be a discomfort which we cannot hide from. However, we can find a sense of being which can allow us to stand ready and face them. Unflinching, we can stare in the mirror, looking deep at the ugliness and disease inside our soul, and refuse to sway. If our greatest enemy is ourselves, my battle is going to be long and ardious. I will not lose this time. I have too much to lose and someone who is more valuable than all riches the world could offer.
I could wish to be stronger already. I could wish this fight didn't have to take place, but to do so would only be a cowards cry for absolution. There is no honor in never facing an opponent. If I am able to argue either side fluidly then there is no reason to fall victim to the weaker. My satisfaction of the matter has been met. Now all that is left is do dispatch the remains, and prepare for any other visits.
Emily has given me a voice to which I've never found alone. While no future is certain, it is clear that the present was written beautifully. Whatever past has long passed. There is no need to focus on such things when such an impressive road of future lays invitingly before you. The memories we have of "when and then" may always remain, but their value is only based on that which has not come. We should never forget that. It is what we can still do which always hold a sense of hope and adventure. As I continue down this path, I know undoubtedly, the hand that travels with me is one that I certainly will never let go. My love and happiness is intertwined with her very essence, and I should never fear nor find myself ashamed of what it took to get to this, for either of us... never.
In my head you sit and pout
Cutting deep causing doubt
You're happiness my lonely cost
Certainly you are lost
My pain your dirty pleasure
My fear your only treasure
Find solace there in desuetude
From now on I'm done with you
I'll never be free of them, but I can do much to remind myself of what they are. The only power they could have is power I would bestow upon them. Alone, in their form, they have nothing. Only after feeding and nurturing do they take a shape of power and hunger. I know this. I know this all too well. I will not permit it this time. This time, their power will not manifest. It will not drive a wedge in my soul. Instead it will only strengthen my resolve. It will become the stitches which close wounds not the knife that opens them.
There will always be many things we wish to change. There will always be a discomfort which we cannot hide from. However, we can find a sense of being which can allow us to stand ready and face them. Unflinching, we can stare in the mirror, looking deep at the ugliness and disease inside our soul, and refuse to sway. If our greatest enemy is ourselves, my battle is going to be long and ardious. I will not lose this time. I have too much to lose and someone who is more valuable than all riches the world could offer.
I could wish to be stronger already. I could wish this fight didn't have to take place, but to do so would only be a cowards cry for absolution. There is no honor in never facing an opponent. If I am able to argue either side fluidly then there is no reason to fall victim to the weaker. My satisfaction of the matter has been met. Now all that is left is do dispatch the remains, and prepare for any other visits.
Emily has given me a voice to which I've never found alone. While no future is certain, it is clear that the present was written beautifully. Whatever past has long passed. There is no need to focus on such things when such an impressive road of future lays invitingly before you. The memories we have of "when and then" may always remain, but their value is only based on that which has not come. We should never forget that. It is what we can still do which always hold a sense of hope and adventure. As I continue down this path, I know undoubtedly, the hand that travels with me is one that I certainly will never let go. My love and happiness is intertwined with her very essence, and I should never fear nor find myself ashamed of what it took to get to this, for either of us... never.