cliché

[i_am_rolling]

changmin/jaejoong.
pg-13.
5555 words. (It's MASSIVE.)


1996

I peek out my window and watch as the new neighbors move in next door. I take note of one thing and one thing only: there is a boy. A little boy.

"Yes!" I whisper excitedly to myself. The prospect of making friends, especially next-door-neighbor friends, is just too much fun. We could spend time together any time we want to and we'd become best friends and it would be so awesome oh I'm so excited-

"Jaejoong!" Oh. Umma's calling. I should probably go and see what she wants...but I haven't gotten a good look of his face yet. I want to see...

"Jaejoong!" She shouts again. "Come and eat!"

My stomach grumbles right on time. Darn. This is hard. Food, or face. Food...or face...My stomach rumbles again. Dang it I'm really hungry. I put an arm over my stomach, frown at it annoyingly. I take one more look out the window before I tumble down the stairs. I tripped on the first step.

Don't worry, though. This isn't the first time.

-    -    -    -

Umma and Appa tell me we've invited the neighbors over for dinner this Friday. She told me they have a little boy named Changmin, who is nine years old. Two years younger than me. That's not bad, not at all. I'd be like the hyung he never had.

I'm really excited now.

-    -    -    -

It's seven o' clock when I hear a knock on the door. I quickly turn off my PS2 (A gaming system, Play Station 2, if you didn't know) and run down the stairs-this time without falling. I stand patiently by Appa as Umma opens the door. The Shims (That's their last name) step inside, and we bow towards each other. I take a quick look at Changmin, who's frowning.

We all introduce ourselves and then Umma's telling me to take Changmin upstairs to play. I quietly nod and walk up the stairs with Changmin coming behind me. I walk silently into my room and sit on my bed. Changmin watches me, still standing.

"You can sit down, if you want." I tell him. He sits on my desk chair and looks blankly at me.

"So..." I think of something to say. "Do you want to play a game? I have a Play Station 2. Here." I take out a few of my games. "Tell me which one you want to play."

He looks down at them, looks up at me, and puts his hand in his pocket and takes something out. An iPod. He puts the headphones in his ears and closes his eyes.

He doesn't talk to me the whole time.

-    -    -    -

I wake up on Monday and hear Umma telling me that I'm taking Changmin to school, since we go to the same school now. I'm not all that excited to go see him, but I'm not giving up. Not yet. Me and Changmin will be friends. I just know it.

I meet up with him outside his front door and he walks straight past me. I catch up to him quickly, I am a lot taller than him.

"Hi Changmin-"

"Don't call me Changmin." He says, and looks at me angrily.

I look at him, confused. "Then what do you want to me to call you-"

"Use an honorific. I'm not close to you." Is all he tells me.

"O-oh, okay. Changmin-sshi." This is a little weird. I mean I don't talk to anyone my age like that.

"Good." He starts walking faster, but I catch up, easy.

-    -    -    -

I don't really talk to him for the rest of the day. I was going to go see him during lunch, but it looked like he was making friends, so I didn't. I didn't after school, either. I think he left without me.

But I'm not giving up.

-    -    -    -

I start coming over everyday to Changmin's house and talk to him every time I can. About anything I can think of. He still ignores me every time and I just can't take it anymore.

"Changmin." I say. "Changmin." I say again. Annoyed, I poke him in the ribs. Hard.

He laughs. I stare at him, surprised.

He looks surprised, too. And moves away from me.

I think I just found his tickle spot. Smiling evilly, I move closer to him, about to jump him when all of a sudden I fall. Right on my face.

He laughs at that, too.

-    -    -    -

2002

So I'm a little pissed at him right now. I don't have any reason to be, the more I think about it, but it still really pisses me off.

No way in hell did Shim Changmin ditch me for fucking girl, of all fuck-tastic things. I might've, actually, many times, done that to him but that does not give him any right to do it right back to me. So what if he really likes this girl, he can't leave me on movie night, of all nights. At least not on such short notice, because really, telling me the week before is way-too-freaking late to make other plans.

Okay fine, that's not exactly true, but I've already asked (not really) everyone I know and they're all-of course, busy. It is a Saturday night, after all. Why wouldn't they be?

I fall into bed and tangle myself under the sheets, hiding away and wallowing in self-pity. My stomach's giving me those roller-coaster tumbles I hate and curse at because I have no freaking idea why it's doing that to me. I will never understand pubescent hormones, testosterone and all.

My mind starts going and I start this thing called dreaming where it only involves two people: Me and him. If that's supposed to be some sort of sign or something all I'm getting from it is that we will forever and eternally be best friends. What else could it be? I'm right, right?

Right?

-    -    -    -

It's been awhile, it's been a long fucking while to wake up and see that I've jizzed my pants. Quite thoroughly, I might add. From what I can make of it, the dream must have been a pretty fucking good one. Even if I can't remember it at this very moment.

By the time I finish washing up (and sneakily hide away my cummed-up bedsheets) I hear the mother-fucker's damn-long legs trudging up the stairs. How do I know it's him? Because, I just do. (And Umma just told me he's here)

I try to act nonchalant, because that's what you do when your best friend ditches you for a girl. You act like nothing even fucking happened, even though everything did. I take to slumping on my bed and grabbing the nearest book I can find. Tasteful, I know.

"Hey," he says, walking in and sitting at the base of my bed. I don't say anything, pretend I'm deeply immersed into the book and wait a few moments till he says my name.

"Jaejoong."

I look up, feign surprise and shut the book, smiling at him casually. "Oh hey, so how was the date?"

"Jaejoong," he says again. Something tells me he knows I'm hiding something. He always seems to catch that, which I hate and love that he does (because that just shows how fantastically close we are-BFFLS FTW) I don't say anything though, except a somewhat innocent "What?"

"You know what, Jaejoong. I know you're pissed at me. You've got to be kidding me if you didn't think I'd notice." He's looking at me just like he usually does, with that I-can-see-right-through-you-and-everything-in-you look.

"Well then I guess I'm not kidding you." I said it without thinking, actually I don't even know if it makes sense but it's the first thing that popped in my mind so I just went with it.

"Right." He blows it over like it's nothing and goes straight for the kill. "Obviously you know I'm sorry. Very sorry that I missed movie night with you. Titanic, too. How was it?"

"I didn't watch it." I deadpan a second too late and realize I just fucked myself over. He asks the "Oh, so you made plans?" question and I realize that I can't find it in myself to think up a good lie in time. So I don't.

"No." Not looking at his face seems a lot more comfortable (and pathetic) so I do exactly that. I grab the book again and actually start reading the words this time. I mentally slap myself. I'm reading fucking Shakespeare. No wonder he saw right through me.

He sighs, quite loudly, quite over-dramatically. "Then I guess I'll have to spend the night here then."

I feel defeated. He knows me too well.

-    -    -    -

Feeling much more happier and much more curious, I ask him about the date, like I should have done the minute he'd gotten here. I pause the movie, and he glances up at me with eyebrows furrowed and arms behind his head. He shifts to his elbows, asks me a pretty blank question. "What."

"You know what." I look down at him, my head propped up on my folded knees.

"No, actually, I don't. But feel free to tell me. Anytime, really." He lies back down again and cushions his head behind his hands, closing his eyes.

"The date, Changmin. How was the date." I hope I don't sound too interested. That would be fucking embarrassing.

"Oh," he says, "that. You should've just said that." I wave my hand for him to continue. "Well, it was nice." He smiles, I feel an annoying twitch. "Really nice." He starts to blush, my blood begins to boil. "Hyung, I really like her." I'm about ready to break a fucking window right now. "I think I'm going to ask her out again next weekend." Scratch that. I will break a fucking window right now. Damn it I fucking hate hormones with a fucking vengeance.

It may be his currently love-stricken self that seems to write off my very obvious annoyance in the situation but I'm thankful for it. Or else I'd have to explain why I feel this way and I don't really understand that either so it's all good (not really). I think I need to get myself a girlfriend. Badly.

I mentally write that on the top of my list of What To Fucking Do With My Life.

-    -    -    -

2004

"So this is it, huh." I tell him, feeling like the world is crashing down on me. I glance up at him (Damn his growth spurt) and frown at him, begrudgingly. "You do know I'm going to miss you. A lot, right?"

He rolls his eyes, folds his arms and towers over me. "You're just going to college, hyung. It's not a big deal. Everything else is the same. You're still living at home, I'll be able to see you any time I want to."

"So," I mutter sheepishly, kicking at the ground. "I'm still going to miss you."

"Of course you are." He replies, sarcasm hanging on every word. Sometimes I wish he'd be a little more sentimental.

"Changmin," I say.

"Yes, hyung."

I tried to calm myself, really I did, but there is only so much of Changmin's sarcasm that I can take. Especially when I'm trying to have an actual heartfelt moment between us (which is rare) and he just won't budge. He still behaves like the cocky bastard that he is. Needless to say it pisses me off. So to rid myself of that anger, I do just one thing, because the situation (or myself) was in favor for it so I just had to go with it.

I punch him, really, really fucking hard in the gut. Where I know he'll be feeling the pain for the next few days or so. At least I hope.

Watching him clutch at his stomach in agony leaves me feeling a little guilty though. I immediately turn into the 'Umma' as he's recently dubbed me and start cooing over him like an overprotective parent worrying about whether his or her son drowned in the bathtub* (A little far-off for a comparison but you get the point). He pushes me away though, stepping back a few feet (till he's sure he's safe from further physical pain) and mumbles something in-between breaths. "That." Breath. "Was unnecessary."

"I know." I retort, crossing my arms and smirking arrogantly. "But you deserved it."

"Sure I did, hyung. Sure I did." He starts waddling over to my bed, flumping himself on it and groaning when he does.

I walk over. "Did I really hit you that hard?" I question, a hand on his arm.

He nods. "Yes, hyung. You really did. Just go get me some ice or something." He tries to shove me away, but that seems to make the pain worse, groaning even more.

"Right. Yeah." I quickly pad away, hiding a smile behind my hand all the while. Who knew those days at the gym actually benefited me. I thought I was torturing myself for nothing.

Ah, well. Irony.

-    -    -    -

I didn't think I'd actually be doing this but decisions are decisions. And I'm making one pretty crazy (and rather sensible) decision right now that I can't believe I (hadn't) decided to go through with (earlier).

I'm moving. Yes, it's that simple. The everyday, two-to-three-hour (No, I'm not kidding) commute to my school was beginning to become a hassle, so I did the most sensible thing to do: find an apartment.

I don't know why I hadn't thought of this before (I might've been a little hesitant to leave home), honestly I think it was just the time, you know? To fully experience 'college life.' That and coming home wasted late at night is not an option when living in the Kim family home.

Now telling Changmin is what's really bothering me about this. I muster up as much courage as I can to call him right here, right now. Right after I've broken the news to my parents (which I think they're pretty happy about. I don't know, I just get this feeling...) He says he'll be coming over in half an hour.

And so the painstakingly long (though not very long) wait begins.

-    -    -    -

Changmin toddling in with all-smiles is a sight to see and feel completely horrible about when you know you're the one who'll be tearing it down any second. I try to smile back, but think all I give him is an awkward quirk of the lips.

He frowns immediately, those mismatched eyes replaced with serious ones. "Hyung, what is it." He rushes over to my bed, sitting right next to me and throwing an arm over my shoulder. "Is everything okay?"

I sigh, knowing I'm probably making him feel even more worried but I can't help myself. "Everything's fine, Changmin. Really. I just have to tell you something, really important."

He stays quiet, looks me straight in the eyes and just nods for me to continue.

"I'm moving out. I got myself an apartment. It's an hour's drive away. I'm actually leaving in a few days." I say it all at once, all the important details, the things he needs to know. All of a sudden, it hits me. The way his expression changes from serious to sad in so quick of a time makes me want to bawl and wrangle him into a bear-crushing hug. I don't do anything of the sort (I must be the mature hyung), but the idea is tempting.

I wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding him tight as I whisper in his ear. "I'm really gonna miss you this time, Minnie." He chuckles at the pet-name I throw at him every once and a while. I pull him closer. "We'll make it work. Just call me when you want to come over and I'll pick you up."

I hear him sniffle, inwardly chuckle because I know he's trying to hide it (trying to be the 'manly-man' that he is) and break the hug, looking at him square in the face. His eyes are red and slightly puffy, but I don't say anything. I just smile at him, and he smiles back, mismatched eyes and all.

-    -    -    -

2006

So the thing about keeping in touch and seeing each other and all, didn't exactly work. I mean at first, it did, actually it'd been going pretty well. Changmin came over, told me anything and everything he'd done, and I did the same. Everything was fine. Absolutely fine. But of course, fine doesn't cut it. Not in the eyes of 'god' or 'fate' or whoever it was who thought it was a pretty kick-ass idea to make it immensely difficult for us to see each other again.

So it goes like this: Changmin, honor student that he is, begins to fail a few classes (he had been coming over frequently at the time) and his parents take the initiative to prohibit him from seeing me again until he brings them back up. He eventually does, but somewhere along the way the meetings, the phone calls, become less frequent. I figure it must be his schoolwork or something, so I don't bother with the calls anymore (because he stops replying) and let him live his life. He's growing up, and unfortunately I can't really be around for it.

It's strange, really. The more I think about it. Being best friends for so many years yet we still somehow end up like this. I guess that's life, in a way. You move on and forget the past and all that shit.

My cell rings, I peer at the unknown number but pick up the phone anyway. "Hello?"

"Jaejoong-hyung?" Shit. Holy Fucking Shit. It's Changmin. Fucking Shim Changmin.

"Changmin? Is that you?" I inquire, my tone of voice tinged with distilled surprise. I flop down onto my couch, my eyes wide open. As you can tell this is a little shocking for me. I honestly didn't think I'd be speaking to him again.

"Oh, good. It is you. I thought you'd changed your number." I notice his sigh of relief right after. Continuing, I reply with a "Yeah. I hadn't. So what is it? Why the sudden call?" I know I may be sounding a little accusing, but after not replying to any of the messages I'd sent him and then randomly deciding to call two years later is enough to allow me to be just a little angry.

"I need to ask you something," he starts. I don't say anything, wait until he continues. He gets the message. "Hyung, I...I know I haven't spoken to you for the past two years but I really need your help with this. This is my last resort, I've done everything I could..."

"Changmin."

"Yeah."

I sigh, heavily. As if this taking up a lot of my oh-so-fucking precious time (when it isn't in any sort of way). "What is it."

"Hyung, could I please move in with you?" His voice is near-pleading. I could just imagine him on his knees and begging for he life of him.

I can tell, he's desperate. So I decide to hear him out, and go from there. "Alright, Changmin, I'm still undecided, and would very much like to know why I am your 'last resort.' So please, enlighten me."

-    -    -    -

Excitement got the better of me. The thought of finally seeing him and having him living here, after all these (two) years. I could tell he was pretty happy (or relieved) about it. He must be really excited to (find a place to live) see me. I can't wait to see him.

I really can't.

-    -    -    -

"Am I nervous? Do I look like I'm nervous? I think I'm nervous," I fumble through the receiver, Yoochun (the college friend) on the other side. I can't stop pacing. My hands won't stop feeling clammy. Damn it all.

"Okay. Jaejoong. I have four words for you: Calm. the Fuck. Down. You've known him for your entire life, practically. Hearing nothing from him for two years should not change anything that's happened between the two of you before." Yoochun. The always level-headed, always-sensible guy. I knew I did the right thing calling him. He's not majoring in psych for nothing.

"Yeah, you're right. In fact, I know that already. But, I don't know. I'm still nervous, wonder if he's-"

Why does the bell ring at so fateful of a time?

"Shit, he's here." I curse into the phone. "I'll call you back." I shove it into the receiver and start cleaning (panicking) like crazy, unnecessarily arranging and rearranging things until my foot (It's always my foot) gets caught on something and I'm face-planting into the floor. Cursing once more, I quickly pull myself up and rush to the door, swinging it open.

My jaw drops. This, this, is Changmin?

My eyes are glazing over a one-hundred-ninety-centimetered, black-haired, high-cheekboned, full-lipped...man. He's a man. A fucking sexy (wait, what?) man. When? Since when?

"Hey hyung," he smirks down at little, one-hundred-and-eighty centimeter me. I can feel my self-esteem (and confidence) depleting by the minute.

I manage, nevertheless. "Hey, Minnie," I beam right back at him before wrangling him into a bear-hug, just barely getting my chin over his shoulder. He's a little hesitant, but his arms wrap around me eventually. Ah, it feels like home. I missed that.

(I missed him)

-    -    -    -

We catch up. I tell him everything's going pretty well. Yeah. That was it in a nutshell. He tells me, more-or-less, the same thing. How everything's been going-what sounds like-fantastically well for him and how he passed high school with flying colours, attending my school thereafter.

I presume it's expected for it to be slightly awkward, but I honestly didn't think it'd be this bad. Apparently it is. We're both glancing at the floor and uncomfortably rubbing the backs of our necks-as if that helps the situation. I decide to bring up food. That used to always make him happy.

"So. Food, yeah?"

"Huh?" He snaps his head up, replies, "Oh. Yeah, that'd be great."

If he didn't think I wouldn't notice, he's got to be kidding me. I can practically see the hunger evident in his eyes. So I make him his favorite ramyeon.

Everything's going fairly well until that 'higher being' decides to come in and fuck up the situation. Plates crash, food flies, and the kitchen's one hell of a mess.

And Changmin, he doubles over, points at me and laughs like it's the most hilarious thing he's ever seen. (Déjà vu? Or is it just me?)

-    -    -    -

I don't know what the hell it is, but for some inexplicable (or rather, quite explicable) reason Changmin's personality takes a total one-eighty, back into the snarky, sarcastic jackass he is.

"So Jaejoong," he goes, "tell me what's really, actually been going on with you. Honestly, just because I don't see or speak to you for two years doesn't mean I don't know you. Because I do, pretty fucking well."

It takes me second to take it all in, the way he talks and the way he acts, because it's different, though only slightly. Every little aspect of him has just bloomed quite magnificently into adulthood. He's twiddling with the noodles and stuffing them in his mouth in record time, while he waits for my answer.

I give him one, oh, do I fucking give him one. His sarcasm flips a switch and has me retorting menacingly at him. "Oh, oh nothing really. It's not like I was the one who stopped messaging me, for, I don't know, two fucking years."

He looks at me, eyebrows raised, appearing completely unfazed, and pissing me off even further by the second. He gently sets his chopsticks down, twines his fingers together, sets his elbows on the table, and just looks at me. He sighs, shakes his head and swears at himself. "Damn it I couldn't think of a good excuse."

I want to slap him. Though he's too far away to do that, so I just settle for grumbling irritatedly. He laughs at that, nearly provoking me.

"Okay okay," he chuckles, reaches for my hand, looks me straight in the eyes. I can feel myself tensing up, the goosebumps growing on my arms. Is this something serious? "I..." In seconds he's having a laughing fit and I'm slapping him repeatedly on the arm. "The look on your face is priceless," he chortles amusingly.

"Damn it, Changmin, be serious with me, will you." I glare agitatedly at him. He gets serious, finally.

"Hyung, honestly I don't know. I think time got the better of me, or something like that. What with school and college applications and all...I just couldn't make time. Umma and Appa didn't really make it any easier, either. I did what I had to. But look at me now, I'm back and I know you're happy that I am."

He's got me there. "Yeah, you're right." I shrug,"I did miss you, you cocky bastard." I shove him in the shoulder, grinning. "Come on, let us reminisce."

-    -    -    -

We end up watching Titanic, because when reminiscing one must do so heavily and thoroughly with all such heart-throbbing glory. According to us, this is the way to go.

I sigh, think back on the many times we'd done this. It makes me smile, and suddenly I feel like we're back in high school. I imagine little, snarky-ass Changmin with his equally-snarky comments throughout the movie, his hair a shaggy mess while he lies in bed next to me.

I sneak a glance at the present Changmin, with his long legs and short hair. So he's a little different physically, but his personality is still the same as ever. I couldn't imagine that ever changing, though. Honestly he wouldn't be Changmin without it.

"Hyung," he yawns, stretching his arms. "Sleep," he mumbles, reaching for the remote and switching the t.v. off. His arm slips around my waist, pulling me close. I hear the slightest murmur of "warm" before he falls asleep beside me, dead to the world.

I roll my eyes. He is definitely, undoubtedly the same.

-    -    -    -

I think there's something wrong with me. I peer over at Changmin once more, watch with an unrelenting fixation as he waltzes around the room with nothing but a towel hanging on his hips. He's wet. Naked (practically). And I can't stop staring. What's more, this isn't the first time. This isn't the first time.

This is what perplexes me, confuses me to no end, gives me uncomfortable sensations I'm unsure how to deal with it. I continue to stare, quite shamelessly, at him, reminiscing of all the other times Changmin was too fucking sexy for his own good. His body, his hair, his face...it's all too much for me to handle.

That's when it hits me, squarely in the face, like the girlfriend I found cheating on me last year (Damn her). I just called Changmin sexy. My best friend for ten, long, memorable years, sexy. There is undoubtedly something wrong with me.

"Hey, um, hyung." I snap out of my fixation and will myself to pay attention to his face (and not his body).

"Yeah, Changmin?" I inquire, in what I hope in an innocent, oblivious way. He's looking at me as if I've gone mad or something.

"It's nothing," he abruptly replies. "Really." He quickly peeks at me again before rushing out of the room in a nervous flurry.

I fall back on my bed, think about what I've so stupidly given away. He's found out. Smart-ass, honor-roll Changmin has found out.

-    -    -    -

And he does absolutely nothing about it. In fact, he ignores it. I sigh in relief, without having to deal with that I decide to really deduce what the hell has happened to me. I come up with absolutely nothing (or a refusal to accept the truth). I've gone on dates, one-night stands, anything to quell the sexual frustration within me-all of which has done, absolutely nothing.

Slumping around one Saturday night, I flip through t.v. channels and wallow in loneliness. Everyone's gone out, busy with their lives while I spend my time doing this. Rolling my eyes, I switch off the t.v. and decide to cook something. Anything. I'm bored out of my mind.

The sound of footsteps (Changmin's footsteps) has me glancing expectedly at the door, until I hear it.

A girl. He's with a girl.

My self-control disappears within a second as I rush to the door, squeezing my eye through the peephole. A date? He'd gone on a date? I realize I'm jumping to conclusions, but hearing that incessant laugh of hers is enough. My blood begins to boil the longer I see the two of them together. He's obviously enjoying himself. All I see him paying attention to are her extremely pronounced boobs. Slut. Whore. Bitch. How else could I describe it?

The smell of smoke and the piercing sound of the fire-alarm jolts me back to reality. I watch in horror as my precious ramyeon burns to ash, as well as the rest of my kitchen. Shit shit shit.

Changmin bursts through the door in a panic as he stares wide-eyed at the kitchen and then at me. I passively smile at him, my ear against the phone as I call the emergency line.

-    -    -    -

I bow thankfully toward the firemen as the last of them walk out the door. Shutting it quietly, I peek over at Changmin, hunched over on the couch and glaring at me.

"So," I sheepishly start, settling myself beside him. "How was your night?"

It's apparent when my bashful smile does nothing to repress his anger. "How the fuck did this happen."

"What?" I'm shocked. He sounds fucking pissed at me.

"How. The Fuck. Did This Happen." He inunciates every word, scowls even further. "You almost burned the entire fucking kitchen down. Look at it. The whole place is fucking black and you-"

He's pissing me off. How the fuck does he have any right to speak to me like that? I shout and curse at him, without any reason. I'm pissed, emotionally unstable for reasons I can't even comprehend and I'm coming apart. This is his fault. All his fucking fault. "Fuck, Changmin," I shout, blaring. "None of this would have fucking happened if you hadn't brought the stupid fucking slut he-"

Shit. "Slut?" he asks, "What are you-" Shit. Comprehension dawns on him and I don't know how I'd thought this would make anything better but I kiss him. Wrap my arms around his neck and crash my lips against his. They feel like heaven, soft and perfect against mine. My stomach's twisting and turning in the most delightful of ways as I move my lips against his. He's unresponsive, but I push further. Slowly and hesitantly I feel his arms pull me closer and his lips move with mine.

A slight pop resonates throughout the room when we pull apart. I steal a glance once more before he pulls me in for another kiss.

-    -    -    -

Waking up was unusual. Seeing Changmin with his arms wrapped around me had me wanting to giggle like a teenage school girl. I hadn't, instead opting to disentangle myself from him and take a well-needed, thoughtful shower.

I walk out ten minutes later, sift through my clothes and turn when I hear him.

"Hyung," he mumbles, leaning against the door frame and smiling crookedly at me.

My heart palpitates to a hundred beats per minute and I know I've fallen. Hard.

-    -    -   -

2011

"Mmm," I murmur, stretching my arms and glancing at a sleeping Changmin, bare-backed with his arm around me. I smile, sit up and hear him mumble a protest and pull me closer. I carefully push him away, climbing out of bed and fishing for the pajamas strewn across the floor.

Slipping them on, I make for the kitchen and cook something. I hear the rustle of Changmin from the bedroom, smirk at his bed-head hair and sloppy appearance. I swear, any time I look at him he looks sexy.

"Morning," I say, flipping the egg on the pan. He mutters incoherently and waddles over, circling his arms around my waist and kissing me on the neck.

"Morning," he whispers into my ear. I shiver, cursing at myself for doing so. Even after so many nights of mind-blowing sex I can't seem to stop being so sensitive to everything he does.

"Hyung. Jae," he whispers, quick and soft. "Saranghae."

There he goes. He tells me these things any time his romantic self feels the need to and I'm putty in his hands. I mumble the same, smile as he hugs me tighter.

"Saranghae, you cocky bastard."
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whatifgirl86 I HOPE YOU LYKED ET. Because I have no idea if I do. I started it weeks ago and was all excited and motivated to write it and did so till late midnight on Sunday night, knowing I'd be up in five hours and walking around like I'm the living dead. That being said, I was only able to finish most of it because I couldn't stay up any later and finished it up today. Right now, I'm not sure if it sounds that great. At least the part I wrote today. But anyway, recently learned that my cousin and sister actually liked a kpop song, Super Junior's SUPERMAN, to be exact. I was in awe. Never had they liked any of it before, calling it "too asian" (which I still do not understand) and "what the hell is this?" I apologize for the random fangirlish moment. I obviously got a little too excited over this.