(no subject)

[shit_stings]

Creative Ways to Kill A Motherfucker
- Tie him down and amputate limbs
- Keep him on a dog chain in the middle of the desert
- Drop him out of a helicopter
- Shoot up a wedding
- Feed him to something
- Bury him alive
- Forceful overdose

Preferred Qualities in a Woman
- Not a retarded cunt
- Doesn't give a shit about meeting your parents
- Sense of humor (both normal and/or twisted)
- Won't sleep with your brother
- Athletic
- Can take care of her own damn shit
- Won't make good on death threats
- Ain't any fake shit
- Good taste (music, films, cars, whatever)

A Few Things Everybody Need to Do
- Shut
- The
- Fuck
- Up