(no subject)
well as most of you all ready know i finaly got evicted from my place and now have to pay over a $thousand dollars to the dayum apartment complex for cleaning charges and damages plus pet deposit money. i just want to clear the air about what actualy happened to get me evicted because theirs been a lot of gosip and shit going down at the hunnypot and Oscar's (my 2 fave gay bars HOLLANIGGAHHS!!!) about me that not true.
what had happend was a pipe had busted in the kenel at Pets R PEople Too, the vets office where i work, so donnie the manager said everyone had to take some animals home with them so i had to take like six or 7 kitty cats and a few birds and some dogs. it was a zoo roderick he said "DAYUM NIGGAH IT LIKE NOAH DAYUM ARK UP IN HERRRRE BIOTCH" but i knew it was a scacrafice for my job and may be i would get a promotion out of it anyways.
it was croweded in my one BR apt with all those critters (including Roderick lol DAYUM HOOLLLAA!) but everything was ok until roderick came home from Oscar's one night with none other than PAMELA!!!! remember her ? the fuckin shithead trannie i met when i first moved here? god i hated her but roderick said she need a place to stay and she was gonna stay with us and before i could say nothin they had me locked out the bedroom and did it all night long screamin like coons in heat while me and the kittykats and everyone just layed onthe couch and watched tapes of LOST.
pamela got settled in pretty quickly but there wasn't a hole lot of room for 3 people and tons of animals so pamela put all her makeup in a old timey bathtub we found in the vacant lot next door and roderick nigger rigged it with a rope above our bed to save room. when pamela needed some makeup or a wig or something she would get roderick to lower the tub down. the three of us and a lot of hte animals all sleeped togethre in the bed under that tub no problem. and i wont lie some sexual shit went down but i chalk it up to experience plus i was pretty tweeked out on tina but i haven't touched that shit since sunday and i thank the Lord above that chapter of my life is finaly over.
anyways, then pamela started farting all the time (and i kept finding laxatives wrappers every where) and the whole house smelled like shit all the time from pamelas farting and all the animals shitting every where. but one night i came home from OScar's and the animals were gone and roderick said pamela said donnie from Pets R People Too came and picked them up. so i went to bed to pass out and i was about to fall asleep when i looked up and noticed the tub swaying and creaking like someone was in it, the creaking was kinda noisy too. then all the sudden roderick came in and flipped on the light and was like "DAYUM NIGGAH FOOL, STOP WHATYOU DERN AND BE QUIET IM TRYIN TO WATCH LOST OUT HERRRE DAYUMIT!" and i was like BIOTCH IT AIN"T ME ITS THAT DAYUM TUB UP THERE CREAKING and just then the rope snapped and the tub flipped sideways and it turned out it was full of pamelas shit that she had been savin up (and I mean ACTUAL SHIT LIKE WHAT CUMS OUT OF YOUR ASS) and all the animals which were dead and Pamela herself, and it all came crashing down on my ass and Pamelas elbow landed on my jaw and cracked it and she started screaming like she was havin a siezure and Roderick took a picture of me & pamela and all those dayum dead animals and shit on the bed with his cell phone and i was like FOOL YOU BETTAH HELP ME BIOTCH!
pamela ran out to the front porch and jumped off and landed thru the windshield of my kia and got glass and blood and shit all over hte front seats and then she ran off but the preop who lives nextdoor thats a friend of pamela all ready say what happend and reported us to the apt manager the nextt goddam day! DAYUM.
what had happend was a pipe had busted in the kenel at Pets R PEople Too, the vets office where i work, so donnie the manager said everyone had to take some animals home with them so i had to take like six or 7 kitty cats and a few birds and some dogs. it was a zoo roderick he said "DAYUM NIGGAH IT LIKE NOAH DAYUM ARK UP IN HERRRRE BIOTCH" but i knew it was a scacrafice for my job and may be i would get a promotion out of it anyways.
it was croweded in my one BR apt with all those critters (including Roderick lol DAYUM HOOLLLAA!) but everything was ok until roderick came home from Oscar's one night with none other than PAMELA!!!! remember her ? the fuckin shithead trannie i met when i first moved here? god i hated her but roderick said she need a place to stay and she was gonna stay with us and before i could say nothin they had me locked out the bedroom and did it all night long screamin like coons in heat while me and the kittykats and everyone just layed onthe couch and watched tapes of LOST.
pamela got settled in pretty quickly but there wasn't a hole lot of room for 3 people and tons of animals so pamela put all her makeup in a old timey bathtub we found in the vacant lot next door and roderick nigger rigged it with a rope above our bed to save room. when pamela needed some makeup or a wig or something she would get roderick to lower the tub down. the three of us and a lot of hte animals all sleeped togethre in the bed under that tub no problem. and i wont lie some sexual shit went down but i chalk it up to experience plus i was pretty tweeked out on tina but i haven't touched that shit since sunday and i thank the Lord above that chapter of my life is finaly over.
anyways, then pamela started farting all the time (and i kept finding laxatives wrappers every where) and the whole house smelled like shit all the time from pamelas farting and all the animals shitting every where. but one night i came home from OScar's and the animals were gone and roderick said pamela said donnie from Pets R People Too came and picked them up. so i went to bed to pass out and i was about to fall asleep when i looked up and noticed the tub swaying and creaking like someone was in it, the creaking was kinda noisy too. then all the sudden roderick came in and flipped on the light and was like "DAYUM NIGGAH FOOL, STOP WHATYOU DERN AND BE QUIET IM TRYIN TO WATCH LOST OUT HERRRE DAYUMIT!" and i was like BIOTCH IT AIN"T ME ITS THAT DAYUM TUB UP THERE CREAKING and just then the rope snapped and the tub flipped sideways and it turned out it was full of pamelas shit that she had been savin up (and I mean ACTUAL SHIT LIKE WHAT CUMS OUT OF YOUR ASS) and all the animals which were dead and Pamela herself, and it all came crashing down on my ass and Pamelas elbow landed on my jaw and cracked it and she started screaming like she was havin a siezure and Roderick took a picture of me & pamela and all those dayum dead animals and shit on the bed with his cell phone and i was like FOOL YOU BETTAH HELP ME BIOTCH!
pamela ran out to the front porch and jumped off and landed thru the windshield of my kia and got glass and blood and shit all over hte front seats and then she ran off but the preop who lives nextdoor thats a friend of pamela all ready say what happend and reported us to the apt manager the nextt goddam day! DAYUM.