well that was quick.
No, but seriously - I need to get this out of my head and sort it out.
The only Marvel movie that ever had me fired up to write shit was Captain America: The First Avenger. Not Iron Man, not Thor, not Iron Man 2. It's CA:TFA. I was still riding that high when The Avengers rolled in a year later, and what turned me off MCU and fandom for the next two years? How Steve was written in that film. I enjoyed the movie for the most part but I haven't seen it since the last time I saw it in theaters.
That's how furious I was with Avengers!Steve. That "my god doesn't dress like that" line fucking jarred me. Then he pulled the "son - just don't" and wow. Wow. Who the fuck are you? I didn't sign up for this super macho paternalistic patronizing bullshit. Fuck that, I'm out.
That, and also MCU fandom showing its ass over a bunch of other things - Black Panther, Natasha, Joss, Loki - and people within the fandom showing themselves to be truly horrible people, so I said, "Nope, fuck you all", and didn't give a shit while Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 rolled into theaters. I liked them both just fine - I even saw Thor 2 twice because I appreciated so many things in it (except Jane; what in the fresh hell writing was that!?) - but that was it. I latched onto Tolkien instead, because Tolkien had major faults but the fandom was doing pretty damn good.
And just as I was getting back on the Sam/Tron bullet train my dash started drowning itself in CA:TWS and I was only maybe 65% successful in avoiding spoilers. I missed out on the IMAX - mostly due to Mom will give me so much shit if I deviated from studying for a test I didn't start studying for until two days ago when the test is on Wednesday and costs actual amounts of money to take - so I'm fucking pissed but I decided that I was watching that shit on Saturday night and nobody's gonna stop me.
And y'know what? The hype, the meta, the graphics, the gifs, the art, everything I saw on twitter and tumblr and plurk, they didn't disappoint. The movie didn't disappoint at all. It was this glorious terrible terrific terrifying cataclysmic shift of a movie, the kind that changes the entire MCU and shakes its foundations. It's fucking beautiful and it engages me in a way the other goddamn movies don't. There is so much goddamn horror and I'm shocked that they managed to tone shit down to a "you sure this rating is right?" PG-13 rating.
What I like about MCU is that it manages to make the existence of these superheroes and SHIELD and Asgard and whatnot plausible. And what I really liked was the tone of this movie - it's so damn serious without trying to squash any and all traces of the superhero like Nolan's Batman movies tried so hard to do. I could easily imagine this movie going disastrously wrong and coming across as patronizing and predictable and boring, but damn I was hanging on to every goddamn scene. And I love the chaos that Bucky brought with him, the chaos that swirled around him whenever he showed up on screen. I blame maybe 50% of that on his track because shit son, it builds up so beautifully to this bringer of disorder and destruction walking across the street towards Fury's totaled SUV and it is fucking beautiful.
I am all about the Sam Wilson Appreciation Life, because wow he's like this ray of goddamn sunshine and he fucking flies like the badass motherfucker that he is. He's also intriguing because he's a vet who works at the VA helping others through PTSD, and I like how he treats Steve like a fellow veteran and not the Star Spangled Man who beat the shit out of an alien invasion in Manhattan. I don't know. It's just... it's so nice.
And meta crossed my dash recently about Nat and her loyalty to Fury, which I'm grateful for because it just makes me happier knowing that I'm not the only one to notice how important Fury is to her. That post reminded me of all the Nat & Clint & Coulson fics and dynamics I used to read but this is... I don't know, I feel this is more significant and more telling. And what she chose to do - release everything SHIELD/HYDRA gathered, release everything about herself to the wider world - is so fascinating and intriguing and I want to know what happens next. I want to know how she's going to remake herself now that SHIELD is trashed and HYDRA is well and truly alive and Fury's flouncing off to Europe to figure shit out.
Really, I love what happened to SHIELD. I got an inkling of it mainly through the goddamn AoS actor people's twitters I follow but the fucking scope of it all, like, damn. Steve was an SSR success story and he ends up trashing SSR's successor, which was founded/led by Peggy and Howard and oh my fucking god I don't even want to go there. FUcking hell. Like wow, his scene with Peggy and her dementia. The very blatant suggestion that not only was HYDRA responsible for Howard's death but that it also may have been carried out by the Winter Soldier/Bucky!? THAT'S JUST FUCKED UP, Y'ALL.
I almost screamed when Arnim Zola showed up like that, and then again at the Strange name drop. And then again at the first of the two end credits scenes. I had to suppress a lot of screaming when watching this. Oh my god. This movie. I am buying this movie on blu-ray/DVD combo ASAP.
ALSO - I watch Brad Jones (the Cinema Snob at That Guy With The Glasses) and his friends doing midnight screenings a lot. I love when they're trashing a film but man, when they like a film they like a film, and they liked CATWS. I agree so much with the things they said about this film, like how fucking terrifying the villains were here. And y'know, it's not just how terrifying they were. It's also how you don't know who's working for HYDRA and who's the poor schmuck who doesn't realize their coworker is a HYDRA agent. I was so mad about Sitwell, man; I thought he was a fun recurring SHIELD agent. NOPE. HAIL HYDRA. Fucking HYDRA, man. And man I got so mad upset and heartbroken and touched over the aftermath of Steve making that huge announcement about SHIELD being compromised because it's infested by HYDRA, and the people who wouldn't launch Insight because "Captain's orders". And the people who tried to give Steve air support because they're the only ones who can only to get blown to pieces by the fucking Winter Soldier.
Christ. The Bucky thing. Honestly, I'm tired of the SebStan posts all over tumblr but the meta about his portrayal of Bucky and what happened to Bucky? I'M ALL ABOUT IT. I'm all about the subtle cues, his behavior, his expressions, his confusion, his insistence that he knew that man. The idea that they'd wipe him and put him in cryo and that's how the Winter Soldier got to be a ghost story in the intelligence community for fifty fucking years. Amazing. And fucking terrifying - both for the targets and for Bucky himself. Being used as a weapon, an asset, someone you send in without a backup plan because there is none and he's just too good at what he does. It's so fucked up and so creepy and so incredible.
I'm so glad they decided to roll with this storyline and also trash what we knew about the MCU. But man I am so emotionally compromised by everything, by Steve's past coming back to haunt him in the worst way, by Nat losing SHIELD and everyone getting a look-see at her ledger, by all these implications and the need to go back through the previous films and think, "You're working for HYDRA," Bucky's future role in the MCU, by that ending with Pietro and Wanda holy gods that a fucked up and amazing way to deal with the shitfest over mutants and X-Men and Fox.
And then there's Sam Wilson, this bright ray of sunshine who decides to get back in the field because Captain America needs him and it's the right thing to do and he has fucking wings man fucking wings. I seriously can't fucking wait to see what the third Captain America movie brings.
So, I was happily gaining traction on editing WAP chapters successfully and then my decision to watch CATWS has fucking jeopardized that project and every other fic project I had going. What am I doing instead? Going back to Wishing Well.
I always wanted to, but I was lazy and I couldn't bring myself to actually do it. This movie is that kick in the ass that I needed. I'm going through the first three chapters and tidying up sentences and syntax and grammar and fact-checking the hell out of everything.
The fourth chapter with Tony and the glaring fact it was written before The Avengers came out? I am trashing that shit. Firstly, I wrote it while still trying to get with the Steve/Tony program. Secondly, it didn't... the years went by and it no longer felt right. I started hating that chapter but didn't know what to do with it.
It's pretty obvious now. I was trying to write a sequel to Wishing Well but trashed that. Instead, I'm taking elements of that and the events of CATWS and fashioning a new fourth chapter from Steve's POV, a chapter dealing with all these ghosts of the life he left behind waking up and walking with him and around him and maybe beating him to shit with a metal arm.
And I am so fucking excited to write it???? Which can only mean one thing - it's going to blow up in my face and I am so fucked.
The only Marvel movie that ever had me fired up to write shit was Captain America: The First Avenger. Not Iron Man, not Thor, not Iron Man 2. It's CA:TFA. I was still riding that high when The Avengers rolled in a year later, and what turned me off MCU and fandom for the next two years? How Steve was written in that film. I enjoyed the movie for the most part but I haven't seen it since the last time I saw it in theaters.
That's how furious I was with Avengers!Steve. That "my god doesn't dress like that" line fucking jarred me. Then he pulled the "son - just don't" and wow. Wow. Who the fuck are you? I didn't sign up for this super macho paternalistic patronizing bullshit. Fuck that, I'm out.
That, and also MCU fandom showing its ass over a bunch of other things - Black Panther, Natasha, Joss, Loki - and people within the fandom showing themselves to be truly horrible people, so I said, "Nope, fuck you all", and didn't give a shit while Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 rolled into theaters. I liked them both just fine - I even saw Thor 2 twice because I appreciated so many things in it (except Jane; what in the fresh hell writing was that!?) - but that was it. I latched onto Tolkien instead, because Tolkien had major faults but the fandom was doing pretty damn good.
And just as I was getting back on the Sam/Tron bullet train my dash started drowning itself in CA:TWS and I was only maybe 65% successful in avoiding spoilers. I missed out on the IMAX - mostly due to Mom will give me so much shit if I deviated from studying for a test I didn't start studying for until two days ago when the test is on Wednesday and costs actual amounts of money to take - so I'm fucking pissed but I decided that I was watching that shit on Saturday night and nobody's gonna stop me.
And y'know what? The hype, the meta, the graphics, the gifs, the art, everything I saw on twitter and tumblr and plurk, they didn't disappoint. The movie didn't disappoint at all. It was this glorious terrible terrific terrifying cataclysmic shift of a movie, the kind that changes the entire MCU and shakes its foundations. It's fucking beautiful and it engages me in a way the other goddamn movies don't. There is so much goddamn horror and I'm shocked that they managed to tone shit down to a "you sure this rating is right?" PG-13 rating.
What I like about MCU is that it manages to make the existence of these superheroes and SHIELD and Asgard and whatnot plausible. And what I really liked was the tone of this movie - it's so damn serious without trying to squash any and all traces of the superhero like Nolan's Batman movies tried so hard to do. I could easily imagine this movie going disastrously wrong and coming across as patronizing and predictable and boring, but damn I was hanging on to every goddamn scene. And I love the chaos that Bucky brought with him, the chaos that swirled around him whenever he showed up on screen. I blame maybe 50% of that on his track because shit son, it builds up so beautifully to this bringer of disorder and destruction walking across the street towards Fury's totaled SUV and it is fucking beautiful.
I am all about the Sam Wilson Appreciation Life, because wow he's like this ray of goddamn sunshine and he fucking flies like the badass motherfucker that he is. He's also intriguing because he's a vet who works at the VA helping others through PTSD, and I like how he treats Steve like a fellow veteran and not the Star Spangled Man who beat the shit out of an alien invasion in Manhattan. I don't know. It's just... it's so nice.
And meta crossed my dash recently about Nat and her loyalty to Fury, which I'm grateful for because it just makes me happier knowing that I'm not the only one to notice how important Fury is to her. That post reminded me of all the Nat & Clint & Coulson fics and dynamics I used to read but this is... I don't know, I feel this is more significant and more telling. And what she chose to do - release everything SHIELD/HYDRA gathered, release everything about herself to the wider world - is so fascinating and intriguing and I want to know what happens next. I want to know how she's going to remake herself now that SHIELD is trashed and HYDRA is well and truly alive and Fury's flouncing off to Europe to figure shit out.
Really, I love what happened to SHIELD. I got an inkling of it mainly through the goddamn AoS actor people's twitters I follow but the fucking scope of it all, like, damn. Steve was an SSR success story and he ends up trashing SSR's successor, which was founded/led by Peggy and Howard and oh my fucking god I don't even want to go there. FUcking hell. Like wow, his scene with Peggy and her dementia. The very blatant suggestion that not only was HYDRA responsible for Howard's death but that it also may have been carried out by the Winter Soldier/Bucky!? THAT'S JUST FUCKED UP, Y'ALL.
I almost screamed when Arnim Zola showed up like that, and then again at the Strange name drop. And then again at the first of the two end credits scenes. I had to suppress a lot of screaming when watching this. Oh my god. This movie. I am buying this movie on blu-ray/DVD combo ASAP.
ALSO - I watch Brad Jones (the Cinema Snob at That Guy With The Glasses) and his friends doing midnight screenings a lot. I love when they're trashing a film but man, when they like a film they like a film, and they liked CATWS. I agree so much with the things they said about this film, like how fucking terrifying the villains were here. And y'know, it's not just how terrifying they were. It's also how you don't know who's working for HYDRA and who's the poor schmuck who doesn't realize their coworker is a HYDRA agent. I was so mad about Sitwell, man; I thought he was a fun recurring SHIELD agent. NOPE. HAIL HYDRA. Fucking HYDRA, man. And man I got so mad upset and heartbroken and touched over the aftermath of Steve making that huge announcement about SHIELD being compromised because it's infested by HYDRA, and the people who wouldn't launch Insight because "Captain's orders". And the people who tried to give Steve air support because they're the only ones who can only to get blown to pieces by the fucking Winter Soldier.
Christ. The Bucky thing. Honestly, I'm tired of the SebStan posts all over tumblr but the meta about his portrayal of Bucky and what happened to Bucky? I'M ALL ABOUT IT. I'm all about the subtle cues, his behavior, his expressions, his confusion, his insistence that he knew that man. The idea that they'd wipe him and put him in cryo and that's how the Winter Soldier got to be a ghost story in the intelligence community for fifty fucking years. Amazing. And fucking terrifying - both for the targets and for Bucky himself. Being used as a weapon, an asset, someone you send in without a backup plan because there is none and he's just too good at what he does. It's so fucked up and so creepy and so incredible.
I'm so glad they decided to roll with this storyline and also trash what we knew about the MCU. But man I am so emotionally compromised by everything, by Steve's past coming back to haunt him in the worst way, by Nat losing SHIELD and everyone getting a look-see at her ledger, by all these implications and the need to go back through the previous films and think, "You're working for HYDRA," Bucky's future role in the MCU, by that ending with Pietro and Wanda holy gods that a fucked up and amazing way to deal with the shitfest over mutants and X-Men and Fox.
And then there's Sam Wilson, this bright ray of sunshine who decides to get back in the field because Captain America needs him and it's the right thing to do and he has fucking wings man fucking wings. I seriously can't fucking wait to see what the third Captain America movie brings.
So, I was happily gaining traction on editing WAP chapters successfully and then my decision to watch CATWS has fucking jeopardized that project and every other fic project I had going. What am I doing instead? Going back to Wishing Well.
I always wanted to, but I was lazy and I couldn't bring myself to actually do it. This movie is that kick in the ass that I needed. I'm going through the first three chapters and tidying up sentences and syntax and grammar and fact-checking the hell out of everything.
The fourth chapter with Tony and the glaring fact it was written before The Avengers came out? I am trashing that shit. Firstly, I wrote it while still trying to get with the Steve/Tony program. Secondly, it didn't... the years went by and it no longer felt right. I started hating that chapter but didn't know what to do with it.
It's pretty obvious now. I was trying to write a sequel to Wishing Well but trashed that. Instead, I'm taking elements of that and the events of CATWS and fashioning a new fourth chapter from Steve's POV, a chapter dealing with all these ghosts of the life he left behind waking up and walking with him and around him and maybe beating him to shit with a metal arm.
And I am so fucking excited to write it???? Which can only mean one thing - it's going to blow up in my face and I am so fucked.