well, shit
This is an LJ-only post because my history with Dreamwidth is much shorter. I'm really tired and it's the bad kind of tired where I'm .5 seconds away from fucking sobbing all over my tablet and laptop, because I made the really fucking dumbshit mistake of taking the initiative and checking in on a ton of Star Trek comms to see if I can rebuild the playlists for the fanmixes I downloaded back in May-June 2009.
I still think the best fanmixes I ever downloaded were from that fandom. The only one that I think can rival them in terms in sheer perfection is the Dean/Cas 4.22-centric mix which perfectly orchestrated the roller coaster of Dean and Castiel's relationship through the entire episode.
The worst thing is that my brain keeps trying to trip back to rahmbamarama. It wants to go on the grand tour of shirozora's fandom history starting with November 2008, where two days after Obama was elected president joined RBR and never looked back.
Nostalgia sucks. Either that or there's something in my head that's raging and wants to get out but can't because I have no impetus to write a Kirk/McCoy + Spock/Uhura fic. I have discordant unfinished ideas fueled by songs and old notebooks but there's no way in hell that I'm writing a NuTrek fic. Maybe I'm just paranoid about my conviction that I simply don't know enough about Trek canon to even try. Maybe I'm already under a lot of stress from my unfinished things. Maybe it's RL casting a nasty toxic shadow over everything. Maybe I'm just fucking tired and .5 seconds from crying and ripping that Cobra Starship song out of my head just jesus fucking christ get out GET OUT SHUT UP I'M NOT WRITING KIRK/MCCOY FIC OKAY
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
I still think the best fanmixes I ever downloaded were from that fandom. The only one that I think can rival them in terms in sheer perfection is the Dean/Cas 4.22-centric mix which perfectly orchestrated the roller coaster of Dean and Castiel's relationship through the entire episode.
The worst thing is that my brain keeps trying to trip back to rahmbamarama. It wants to go on the grand tour of shirozora's fandom history starting with November 2008, where two days after Obama was elected president joined RBR and never looked back.
Nostalgia sucks. Either that or there's something in my head that's raging and wants to get out but can't because I have no impetus to write a Kirk/McCoy + Spock/Uhura fic. I have discordant unfinished ideas fueled by songs and old notebooks but there's no way in hell that I'm writing a NuTrek fic. Maybe I'm just paranoid about my conviction that I simply don't know enough about Trek canon to even try. Maybe I'm already under a lot of stress from my unfinished things. Maybe it's RL casting a nasty toxic shadow over everything. Maybe I'm just fucking tired and .5 seconds from crying and ripping that Cobra Starship song out of my head just jesus fucking christ get out GET OUT SHUT UP I'M NOT WRITING KIRK/MCCOY FIC OKAY
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST