Drop one, add one. Fucking backlog of fic.
On the train up to my house I rediscovered my 
backtoschool fic. I don't know why I gave it up; it's the most ridiculous AU I've ever seen. It has inflatable sheep dressed up as the Village People, ffs. There's no way I'm going to continue ignoring +7k words of madness, so I'm dropping the Stardust fusion to revise and finish it.
I need to reread all of The Bookshop to remember what the hell's going on. I haven't touched it in months and have absolutely no recollection of what went on in the previous chapters. All I recall are my plans for the winter-themed chapter. Ugh, I might need an alpha to yell at for a bit.
Sam trips over a package on the doorstep and nearly falls face first into the hedges. Once he finishes wiping his dignity clean he picks it up and reads the name on the address. He grins and leaves it right outside Dean's door; ten minutes later Dean swears as he trips over it on his way to the bathroom.
Later in the day he walks into the Bookshop wearing a brand new pea coat and a fairly embarrassed expression on his face. Sam can't stop grinning at him but is surprised when Dean hands him a massive bag of candy, compliments of one Gabriel Novak.
Jessica mocks him the rest of the day.
I'm still craving Jensen/Misha fic. What the fuck.
I'm also still pissed off at a macro I saw making rounds on my Tumblr dashboard several days ago and I'm considering saying something about it. I don't like being considered, however indirectly, a lesser fan just because I disagree very fucking strongly with the idea of being loyal to a show if/when the quality of it goes downhill. Maybe there's several definitions of "loyalty" going on here, but I will fucking leave if the story goes to hell. FU Michael Bay.
I think it's part of my inner war between the voice telling me to continue embracing the Dark Side and consider fandom absolutely integral to my life, and the voice telling me that in the end fandom is something I'll grow out of and I'll look back on it as some foolish childish thing. Maybe it's because more and more everywhere and everything and everyone is looking at me like I'm a dysfunctional being, or talking about the things I do and the habits I keep like they're not the hallmarks of "normalcy". I don't expect the psychologist to say everything is all right, because I know everything isn't all right, but what she does say is just making the choruses of doubt even louder. People keep telling you things and you become them. It's awful and I can't stop it.
...and that's why I'm so angry at that macro. Reading that, multiple times, hurts me a lot. It's why I'm currently hiding from my dashboard.
I'll just shut up, wash out the henna, and go to bed. Have a train to catch.
backtoschool fic. I don't know why I gave it up; it's the most ridiculous AU I've ever seen. It has inflatable sheep dressed up as the Village People, ffs. There's no way I'm going to continue ignoring +7k words of madness, so I'm dropping the Stardust fusion to revise and finish it.
I need to reread all of The Bookshop to remember what the hell's going on. I haven't touched it in months and have absolutely no recollection of what went on in the previous chapters. All I recall are my plans for the winter-themed chapter. Ugh, I might need an alpha to yell at for a bit.
Sam trips over a package on the doorstep and nearly falls face first into the hedges. Once he finishes wiping his dignity clean he picks it up and reads the name on the address. He grins and leaves it right outside Dean's door; ten minutes later Dean swears as he trips over it on his way to the bathroom.
Later in the day he walks into the Bookshop wearing a brand new pea coat and a fairly embarrassed expression on his face. Sam can't stop grinning at him but is surprised when Dean hands him a massive bag of candy, compliments of one Gabriel Novak.
Jessica mocks him the rest of the day.
I'm still craving Jensen/Misha fic. What the fuck.
I'm also still pissed off at a macro I saw making rounds on my Tumblr dashboard several days ago and I'm considering saying something about it. I don't like being considered, however indirectly, a lesser fan just because I disagree very fucking strongly with the idea of being loyal to a show if/when the quality of it goes downhill. Maybe there's several definitions of "loyalty" going on here, but I will fucking leave if the story goes to hell. FU Michael Bay.
I think it's part of my inner war between the voice telling me to continue embracing the Dark Side and consider fandom absolutely integral to my life, and the voice telling me that in the end fandom is something I'll grow out of and I'll look back on it as some foolish childish thing. Maybe it's because more and more everywhere and everything and everyone is looking at me like I'm a dysfunctional being, or talking about the things I do and the habits I keep like they're not the hallmarks of "normalcy". I don't expect the psychologist to say everything is all right, because I know everything isn't all right, but what she does say is just making the choruses of doubt even louder. People keep telling you things and you become them. It's awful and I can't stop it.
...and that's why I'm so angry at that macro. Reading that, multiple times, hurts me a lot. It's why I'm currently hiding from my dashboard.
I'll just shut up, wash out the henna, and go to bed. Have a train to catch.