[One-shot] Never
Title: Never
Author: shiroikazex
Group/pairing: Onesided InooBu, Yabuhika
Genre: Sad-ish, not till angst, but sad
Prompt: .041 Escape
Word Count: 1,385
Rating: G, alright PG for a bit of kissing.
Summary: Inoo had been running away for it all, for so long.
Disclaimer: If I owned the boys I would have put our sexy architect in a dress a long time ago.
Notes: Inspired by the song "My Never" by Blue October :) Hope you guys like this! I mean, sorry, I didn't want to break up hikanoobu but... Okay I promise a good hikanoobu fic soon!!!
I saw forever in my never, as I stood outside her heaven.
-My Never/Blue October
Inoo exited the JUMP dressing room, holding his notes from school and his homework, determined to escape from 7's usual highly energetic babberings (minus Keito, of course, who was sitting in a corner quietly reading a rather intimidating looking English book by an author Inoo did not recognise) and Takaki's distracting hairdryer to find a place for him to do his work in peace.
Ryuutaro had tried silencing the others, to no avail, and gave Inoo an apologetic look as he left the room. Inoo would have went to find Daiki for some homeworking-snacks, if not for the younger boy calling in earlier and saying that he would be late.
Inoo rounded a few corners in the studio looking for an empty dressing room. Perhaps it was lucky he was looking straight when he rounded the last corner, because if he had been looking down, he would have totally not stopped and ducked away in time.
He began walking in the opposite direction, slowly and quietly at first, and when he was quite sure he was out of earshot, he started running.
He wasn't sure where he was running to, he was simply running. It had become something that he was good at, running away.
Somehow he found a flight of stairs and he took them 2 at a time, ending up on the roof of one of the studios.
It wasn't that high up, maybe 3 or 4 storeys. There were a couple of crates around the center, convieniently placed, and Inoo settled down on the floor and leaned against them, his white knuckles finally releasing their grip on his papers, now crumbled and slightly stained with the sweat on his palms.
All that running, and yet the image of Yabu kissing Hikaru pressed up against the wall kept swimming around in his head, taunting him.
He didn't really know when his tears had started falling. He thought it was rain at first, the droplets of water falling onto his trembling hand, the crystal beads. Before he knew it he was sobbing, and he didn't really care now if anyone could see him now, or hear his pathetic sobs over a man whom he should have long given up on.
Inoo knew Yabu earlier than Hikaru did.
But Yabu had never called Inoo's name the way he called Hikaru's.
Yabu had never looked at Inoo the way he looked at Hikaru.
Yabu had never hugged and comforted Inoo the way he hugged and comforted Hikaru.
Yabu had never loved Inoo the way Inoo loved him.
Why, then?
The first few times Inoo appeared on their old TV show when they were kids, Yabu had helped him out a lot, always with that smile.
Inoo wondered when he began falling for Yabu. He couldn't nail down a time.
He never really noticed it when he was younger. When Yabu smiled at him, he smiled back, feeling his heartbeat growing faster and his cheeks grow warm. It started off sweet, so so sweet, but a year or two passed and, Inoo supposed, that's when he knew that Yabu smiled at nearly everyone, but the smile he had for Hikaru was different. Inoo could feel it. Everyone could feel it.
Inoo just felt it more. Piercing through his torso and leaving that big, gaping hole behind everytime he had to witness it.
And perhaps the worse thing was, he couldn't bring himself to hate Hikaru. Hikaru had that effect on people. With his lame puns and funny antics, Inoo felt the distance between them close. Inoo just couldn't hate him. He loved Hikaru too, in a friend sort of way. They were friends when they were kids, and they are still friends. The jokes exchanged between them hadn't changed.
But that was exactly the problem. Inoo felt himself falling deeper and deeper into his pain, and it was getting harder to climb out of it.
So he began to fight the feeling, pushing it down to the depths of his heart so it wouldn't hurt so bad, it wouldn't feel as if his insides were being ripped apart. He started distancing himself from the both of them, bit by bit, and even worked hard to go to a different high school than the both of them.
It sort of worked, he guessed. Since he couldn't see them as often any more, the pain came less often, and he could handle it better.
Unfair, life was. And it continued to play cruel tricks by putting them all in the same group.
When it was announced that Ya-Ya-yah would break up, Yabu cried in Hikaru's arms.
Inoo still tried keeping his distance, but Hikaru had approached him for help for cheering Yabu up, and somehow with their combined efforts, Yabu stopped looking like a zombie walking around and started working properly in JUMP. Being the leader that he was supposed to be.
Perhaps it had been long, perhaps Inoo had grown up, he didn't really feel that pain anymore. It was numbed. Even when he knew about Yabu and Hikaru having a TV show together, he didn't really mind. He knew that Yabu needed Hikaru now. He knew that Yabu was still in pain over the past. He didn't want to complicate things further.
He convinced himself that everything they did on screen now was for fanservicing. Yes. For work. From then on Inoo's life circled around work and school.
University was kind of a solution. His mind was kept busy. When Hikaru asked him out for dinner, he could always find an excuse. When Yabu wanted him to hang out with Hikaru and himself to "remember the days from the past", he could say that he had homework.
Inoo wasn't even sure he was "friends" with them anymore. With each passing day he distanced himself further, escaping, escaping.
Running away seemed so easy. And after years of running away from his feelings, Inoo was almost becoming an expert.
He had almost forgotten what he was running away from.
Having dropped his guard for so long, today everything came crashing back into him like the bullet train.
He should have stopped a long time ago while he could. Maybe he had buried those feelings instead of burning them into ashes, with that slight hope that one day Yabu would look his way.
Oh how stupid, Inoo laughed to himself rather drily, shaking a few teardrops from his lashes.
He wouldn't have fallen so deep and crashed so hard if he had decided to stop long ago.
But maybe it wasn't too late to stop now. It was quite clear. It had been clear for so long, but Inoo was too busy running to stop and look at the cleared picture, because he couldn't, and more so because he didn't want to.
Yabu would never call Inoo's name the way he calls Hikaru's.
Yabu would never look at Inoo the way he looks at Hikaru.
Yabu would never hug and comfort Inoo the way he hugs and comforts Hikaru.
Yabu would never love Inoo the way Inoo loves him.
"Oi, Inoo-chan, where were you?! We're about to start!" Hikaru ran over and laid an arm around Inoo's shoulders when he returned to the dressing room.
"Ah, gomen, homework..."
Hikaru wrinkled his nose, "You university students are always so busy."
Inoo sighed and shrugged Hikaru's arm off. All this while Inoo avoided looking in Yabu's direction.
Daiki offered Inoo a Pocky when he passed. Inoo took it gratefully and nibbled on the chocolate biscuit stick.
While the rest filed out, Inoo pretended to be looking for his comb while making sure his eyes were no longer red and puffy. When he looked up, Yabu was there leaning against the doorframe.
"Um..."
"Inoo-chan, you alright?" Yabu asked, frowning.
"Y-yeah. Just... tired from all the studying. School's been hard."
"Sou...? Well, take care of yourself. You seem a bit down today."
"Yeah, definitely will. Thanks."
Yabu smiled and nodded.
Inoo watched as Yabu turned and started walking out of the room.
"Goodbye, Yabu..."
"Hm? Did you say something?" Yabu's head popped back inside.
"Iya, nothing. I'll be right there."
"Mm. 'kay."
And Inoo smiled to himself, finally letting go.
Goodbye, Yabu.
Author: shiroikazex
Group/pairing: Onesided InooBu, Yabuhika
Genre: Sad-ish, not till angst, but sad
Prompt: .041 Escape
Word Count: 1,385
Rating: G, alright PG for a bit of kissing.
Summary: Inoo had been running away for it all, for so long.
Disclaimer: If I owned the boys I would have put our sexy architect in a dress a long time ago.
Notes: Inspired by the song "My Never" by Blue October :) Hope you guys like this! I mean, sorry, I didn't want to break up hikanoobu but... Okay I promise a good hikanoobu fic soon!!!
I saw forever in my never, as I stood outside her heaven.
-My Never/Blue October
Inoo exited the JUMP dressing room, holding his notes from school and his homework, determined to escape from 7's usual highly energetic babberings (minus Keito, of course, who was sitting in a corner quietly reading a rather intimidating looking English book by an author Inoo did not recognise) and Takaki's distracting hairdryer to find a place for him to do his work in peace.
Ryuutaro had tried silencing the others, to no avail, and gave Inoo an apologetic look as he left the room. Inoo would have went to find Daiki for some homeworking-snacks, if not for the younger boy calling in earlier and saying that he would be late.
Inoo rounded a few corners in the studio looking for an empty dressing room. Perhaps it was lucky he was looking straight when he rounded the last corner, because if he had been looking down, he would have totally not stopped and ducked away in time.
He began walking in the opposite direction, slowly and quietly at first, and when he was quite sure he was out of earshot, he started running.
He wasn't sure where he was running to, he was simply running. It had become something that he was good at, running away.
Somehow he found a flight of stairs and he took them 2 at a time, ending up on the roof of one of the studios.
It wasn't that high up, maybe 3 or 4 storeys. There were a couple of crates around the center, convieniently placed, and Inoo settled down on the floor and leaned against them, his white knuckles finally releasing their grip on his papers, now crumbled and slightly stained with the sweat on his palms.
All that running, and yet the image of Yabu kissing Hikaru pressed up against the wall kept swimming around in his head, taunting him.
He didn't really know when his tears had started falling. He thought it was rain at first, the droplets of water falling onto his trembling hand, the crystal beads. Before he knew it he was sobbing, and he didn't really care now if anyone could see him now, or hear his pathetic sobs over a man whom he should have long given up on.
Inoo knew Yabu earlier than Hikaru did.
But Yabu had never called Inoo's name the way he called Hikaru's.
Yabu had never looked at Inoo the way he looked at Hikaru.
Yabu had never hugged and comforted Inoo the way he hugged and comforted Hikaru.
Yabu had never loved Inoo the way Inoo loved him.
Why, then?
The first few times Inoo appeared on their old TV show when they were kids, Yabu had helped him out a lot, always with that smile.
Inoo wondered when he began falling for Yabu. He couldn't nail down a time.
He never really noticed it when he was younger. When Yabu smiled at him, he smiled back, feeling his heartbeat growing faster and his cheeks grow warm. It started off sweet, so so sweet, but a year or two passed and, Inoo supposed, that's when he knew that Yabu smiled at nearly everyone, but the smile he had for Hikaru was different. Inoo could feel it. Everyone could feel it.
Inoo just felt it more. Piercing through his torso and leaving that big, gaping hole behind everytime he had to witness it.
And perhaps the worse thing was, he couldn't bring himself to hate Hikaru. Hikaru had that effect on people. With his lame puns and funny antics, Inoo felt the distance between them close. Inoo just couldn't hate him. He loved Hikaru too, in a friend sort of way. They were friends when they were kids, and they are still friends. The jokes exchanged between them hadn't changed.
But that was exactly the problem. Inoo felt himself falling deeper and deeper into his pain, and it was getting harder to climb out of it.
So he began to fight the feeling, pushing it down to the depths of his heart so it wouldn't hurt so bad, it wouldn't feel as if his insides were being ripped apart. He started distancing himself from the both of them, bit by bit, and even worked hard to go to a different high school than the both of them.
It sort of worked, he guessed. Since he couldn't see them as often any more, the pain came less often, and he could handle it better.
Unfair, life was. And it continued to play cruel tricks by putting them all in the same group.
When it was announced that Ya-Ya-yah would break up, Yabu cried in Hikaru's arms.
Inoo still tried keeping his distance, but Hikaru had approached him for help for cheering Yabu up, and somehow with their combined efforts, Yabu stopped looking like a zombie walking around and started working properly in JUMP. Being the leader that he was supposed to be.
Perhaps it had been long, perhaps Inoo had grown up, he didn't really feel that pain anymore. It was numbed. Even when he knew about Yabu and Hikaru having a TV show together, he didn't really mind. He knew that Yabu needed Hikaru now. He knew that Yabu was still in pain over the past. He didn't want to complicate things further.
He convinced himself that everything they did on screen now was for fanservicing. Yes. For work. From then on Inoo's life circled around work and school.
University was kind of a solution. His mind was kept busy. When Hikaru asked him out for dinner, he could always find an excuse. When Yabu wanted him to hang out with Hikaru and himself to "remember the days from the past", he could say that he had homework.
Inoo wasn't even sure he was "friends" with them anymore. With each passing day he distanced himself further, escaping, escaping.
Running away seemed so easy. And after years of running away from his feelings, Inoo was almost becoming an expert.
He had almost forgotten what he was running away from.
Having dropped his guard for so long, today everything came crashing back into him like the bullet train.
He should have stopped a long time ago while he could. Maybe he had buried those feelings instead of burning them into ashes, with that slight hope that one day Yabu would look his way.
Oh how stupid, Inoo laughed to himself rather drily, shaking a few teardrops from his lashes.
He wouldn't have fallen so deep and crashed so hard if he had decided to stop long ago.
But maybe it wasn't too late to stop now. It was quite clear. It had been clear for so long, but Inoo was too busy running to stop and look at the cleared picture, because he couldn't, and more so because he didn't want to.
Yabu would never call Inoo's name the way he calls Hikaru's.
Yabu would never look at Inoo the way he looks at Hikaru.
Yabu would never hug and comfort Inoo the way he hugs and comforts Hikaru.
Yabu would never love Inoo the way Inoo loves him.
"Oi, Inoo-chan, where were you?! We're about to start!" Hikaru ran over and laid an arm around Inoo's shoulders when he returned to the dressing room.
"Ah, gomen, homework..."
Hikaru wrinkled his nose, "You university students are always so busy."
Inoo sighed and shrugged Hikaru's arm off. All this while Inoo avoided looking in Yabu's direction.
Daiki offered Inoo a Pocky when he passed. Inoo took it gratefully and nibbled on the chocolate biscuit stick.
While the rest filed out, Inoo pretended to be looking for his comb while making sure his eyes were no longer red and puffy. When he looked up, Yabu was there leaning against the doorframe.
"Um..."
"Inoo-chan, you alright?" Yabu asked, frowning.
"Y-yeah. Just... tired from all the studying. School's been hard."
"Sou...? Well, take care of yourself. You seem a bit down today."
"Yeah, definitely will. Thanks."
Yabu smiled and nodded.
Inoo watched as Yabu turned and started walking out of the room.
"Goodbye, Yabu..."
"Hm? Did you say something?" Yabu's head popped back inside.
"Iya, nothing. I'll be right there."
"Mm. 'kay."
And Inoo smiled to himself, finally letting go.
Goodbye, Yabu.