(no subject)
When Martin was in the NICU, the nurses gave us a hat. It was bright yellow, crocheted. They didn't say, but I'm sure they got it either from a hospital-based or a wider-reaching crafting charity. I've never actually run out of projects far enough to start making stuff for one of those, but I know the type. Anyway, the hat looked like the sort of thing I could make in an hour or two. Except that I hadn't made him any hats, because everything.
It was, to the best of my knowledge, the first time I've ever been the recipient of Charity.
I had a lot of mixed feelings about that hat, none of them positive. I was angry and wounded pride and sad. Maybe those other NICU babies need charity, but not mine! He's going to be fine, and I can take care of him on my own! Oh, but he's really not a healthy baby; doing really well for a NICU baby, but could have died if we hadn't had such good care before, during, and after the birth. Which is why we're here getting a charity hat, instead of home figuring out how to be a family.
I was not grateful, and I was not comforted. I never put the hat on him. I made him a couple of hats myself before he was released from the hospital, and used those.
I doubt I'll ever donate crafts now.
It was, to the best of my knowledge, the first time I've ever been the recipient of Charity.
I had a lot of mixed feelings about that hat, none of them positive. I was angry and wounded pride and sad. Maybe those other NICU babies need charity, but not mine! He's going to be fine, and I can take care of him on my own! Oh, but he's really not a healthy baby; doing really well for a NICU baby, but could have died if we hadn't had such good care before, during, and after the birth. Which is why we're here getting a charity hat, instead of home figuring out how to be a family.
I was not grateful, and I was not comforted. I never put the hat on him. I made him a couple of hats myself before he was released from the hospital, and used those.
I doubt I'll ever donate crafts now.