Of Gods, gods, and the big picture
Other characters can't see this but the muns can. Unless omnipotence is one of your character's attributes, consider this exchange unknown by you or your characters.
Jun said, "Me? Not kind to anybody. Mercury will tell you himself -- the ones he loves? He thinks they deserve what he does to them. He's my Lord. I know that, Derek. I don't trust him for anything. But he gives a hell of a ride."
"...He's fallible...just like the rest of us."
"He's cruel and vain, fun and, unlike regular people, isn't satisfied with creating his own problems. Oh no. He's got to plague us as well. Do you see me asking him where Ken is?"
"...I don't think he would know."
"Or any of the other deities I'm on a first name basis with?"
"Nor would they."
"He could find out a sight faster than I could."
"Yes...but he would still have to cast it."
Jun exhales hard. Not wanting to ask what 'cast' means in this context. "I shouldn't talk about them..."
"...Sorry, Jun...I'm being an ass."
"No, you aren't."
"I...just don't think they're gods...not in the way...Not in the way people expect when they say the word."
"What do you think?"
"They...may act out the...'will' I guess of their function? But they're still...children. Like the rest of us. Just older, more powerful...more able to affect things. I don't think they're gods. Very powerful, yes...a definite role defined for them on a cosmic scale...but they aren't...gods. They aren't God. Hell, they alter things...but only certain things...and, think about this: so do the ninjatai...So do I when I dreamwalk...it's a different level of power but it's the same thing. Does that make us gods as well? I don't thnk so."
Jun nods. "You make a certain sense."
"...God...goddess...gods...The ones that truly build? You can't touch them...can't really imagine all of them. It's like...trying to see to the edge of the universe with human eyes. Your brain gives out. It's too much."
Jun gives a slight smile.
"These gods...they're limited the same way...not as badly, but still: they cant see everything...touch everything know everything all at once." And to me? That's the true god. The one who can do that. No limitations...expect what lesser beings keep trying to shackle him/her/it/they with."
Sometimes she wonders why and how she showed up in Derek's dreams. Hypothetically speaking, she says, "The one who saw us coming together...and saw that it was good...and opened the way...?"
"Maybe... I don't know for sure...that one has a design but it's just as big as the universe: just as impossible to see...But...I don't know."
She says, "'Either choice is important or choice is meaningless.'"
"...We did seem to be going in the same direction."
Jun scowls. "Everyone has plots and plans."
"I think it has meaning."
Minimal acceptance reduces her scowl to a tiny vertical line between her finely arched brows. "Life happens regardless."
"I just don't think we can second guess the bigger one. And yes it does but that doesn't mean there wasn't something under it all...Like all those people that ask about changing history in the Nexus. Sure...you can change it...but when you do that, what patterns get messed up? You'll be able to see some of it...but not all of it...Things that aren't even a dream yet could be affected...Honestly? I think there was a reason we met. How likely you and I meet? I don't know how you got to the Nexus...but a car crash? Random, right?
So why didn't it just kill me?"
Jun shakes her head; reaches for his shoulders.
He reaches out for her as well; draws her close.
"It's all important I think...just that...we won't be able to tell from where we stand...And probably won't understand most of it anyway, even if we could see it.
Her words are hushed, "I don't like that."
"...Why?"
"How am I supposed to know the best place to position myself -- where to aim -- if I can't see the big picture?" Her brows are beetled. Her eyes flash with resolve's fire.
"...I think...we're allowed what we need to see...it's up to us to interpret...just that...we wont see everything. I think that's...that ones way of at least giving us a choice in the matter. What we do with it? That's our look out...Maybe all the different universes are to cover all the different choices...so...
we can still choose...Personally, I wouldn't want to know everything. Then I'd have to take everything into account, and I'd be so busy doing that that I would never make a decision." Soothes her by smoothing his hand down her hair.
"That's...that's what the evaluators said. That's why I'm G3 instead of G2." She laughs a little. "Not for the same reasons...but when it came down to it...They couldn't count on me to act." Her voice wavers. "Bad timing."
"Hmmm..." he continues to smooth her hair. "Maybe...but it would give you insight the others would not have...which is also good. Every group needs a voice of considered reason...Just as important as being able to press a button with only seconds to think about it. Maybe more so, because then maybe the button pusher will have a better idea of where to aim."
She's quiet. She's realized she's told Derek far too much about herself as the Swan and how she fits into the knt. "Maybe." She exhales as if he's soothed her. Her fingers slide along his shoulders to his neck. She tilts her lips and brings her face close to his.
Derek finishes the motion for her, kissing her gently on the lips before gathering her against him.
Jun said, "Me? Not kind to anybody. Mercury will tell you himself -- the ones he loves? He thinks they deserve what he does to them. He's my Lord. I know that, Derek. I don't trust him for anything. But he gives a hell of a ride."
"...He's fallible...just like the rest of us."
"He's cruel and vain, fun and, unlike regular people, isn't satisfied with creating his own problems. Oh no. He's got to plague us as well. Do you see me asking him where Ken is?"
"...I don't think he would know."
"Or any of the other deities I'm on a first name basis with?"
"Nor would they."
"He could find out a sight faster than I could."
"Yes...but he would still have to cast it."
Jun exhales hard. Not wanting to ask what 'cast' means in this context. "I shouldn't talk about them..."
"...Sorry, Jun...I'm being an ass."
"No, you aren't."
"I...just don't think they're gods...not in the way...Not in the way people expect when they say the word."
"What do you think?"
"They...may act out the...'will' I guess of their function? But they're still...children. Like the rest of us. Just older, more powerful...more able to affect things. I don't think they're gods. Very powerful, yes...a definite role defined for them on a cosmic scale...but they aren't...gods. They aren't God. Hell, they alter things...but only certain things...and, think about this: so do the ninjatai...So do I when I dreamwalk...it's a different level of power but it's the same thing. Does that make us gods as well? I don't thnk so."
Jun nods. "You make a certain sense."
"...God...goddess...gods...The ones that truly build? You can't touch them...can't really imagine all of them. It's like...trying to see to the edge of the universe with human eyes. Your brain gives out. It's too much."
Jun gives a slight smile.
"These gods...they're limited the same way...not as badly, but still: they cant see everything...touch everything know everything all at once." And to me? That's the true god. The one who can do that. No limitations...expect what lesser beings keep trying to shackle him/her/it/they with."
Sometimes she wonders why and how she showed up in Derek's dreams. Hypothetically speaking, she says, "The one who saw us coming together...and saw that it was good...and opened the way...?"
"Maybe... I don't know for sure...that one has a design but it's just as big as the universe: just as impossible to see...But...I don't know."
She says, "'Either choice is important or choice is meaningless.'"
"...We did seem to be going in the same direction."
Jun scowls. "Everyone has plots and plans."
"I think it has meaning."
Minimal acceptance reduces her scowl to a tiny vertical line between her finely arched brows. "Life happens regardless."
"I just don't think we can second guess the bigger one. And yes it does but that doesn't mean there wasn't something under it all...Like all those people that ask about changing history in the Nexus. Sure...you can change it...but when you do that, what patterns get messed up? You'll be able to see some of it...but not all of it...Things that aren't even a dream yet could be affected...Honestly? I think there was a reason we met. How likely you and I meet? I don't know how you got to the Nexus...but a car crash? Random, right?
So why didn't it just kill me?"
Jun shakes her head; reaches for his shoulders.
He reaches out for her as well; draws her close.
"It's all important I think...just that...we won't be able to tell from where we stand...And probably won't understand most of it anyway, even if we could see it.
Her words are hushed, "I don't like that."
"...Why?"
"How am I supposed to know the best place to position myself -- where to aim -- if I can't see the big picture?" Her brows are beetled. Her eyes flash with resolve's fire.
"...I think...we're allowed what we need to see...it's up to us to interpret...just that...we wont see everything. I think that's...that ones way of at least giving us a choice in the matter. What we do with it? That's our look out...Maybe all the different universes are to cover all the different choices...so...
we can still choose...Personally, I wouldn't want to know everything. Then I'd have to take everything into account, and I'd be so busy doing that that I would never make a decision." Soothes her by smoothing his hand down her hair.
"That's...that's what the evaluators said. That's why I'm G3 instead of G2." She laughs a little. "Not for the same reasons...but when it came down to it...They couldn't count on me to act." Her voice wavers. "Bad timing."
"Hmmm..." he continues to smooth her hair. "Maybe...but it would give you insight the others would not have...which is also good. Every group needs a voice of considered reason...Just as important as being able to press a button with only seconds to think about it. Maybe more so, because then maybe the button pusher will have a better idea of where to aim."
She's quiet. She's realized she's told Derek far too much about herself as the Swan and how she fits into the knt. "Maybe." She exhales as if he's soothed her. Her fingers slide along his shoulders to his neck. She tilts her lips and brings her face close to his.
Derek finishes the motion for her, kissing her gently on the lips before gathering her against him.