Intentions
Please remember that players can see this, but characters cannot. In other words, please respect the fourth wall.
"Derek?"
"Yes."
She should be looking at him for this. "Were you planning on visiting Stormhold this evening?"
"I wasn't...but I can go..."
Her hamstrings are aching from keeping her legs from shaking.
"I'd like for you to go with me, if you'd like to..."
Derek nods, "....You all right, Jun?"
Silent nod, enormous eyes and a mouth that's curled in on itself. A hand slips out of her silver-stuff domino and toys with one of her curls.
Derek cocks his head curiously. "What's up?"
Jun turns her face to the side, extends a hand. There's a slight tremor. Her face is all roses.
He takes her hand, still curious. His eyebrow is twitching slightly, which means it's considering taking a voyage up his forhead.
"I want you. I've tried chocolate and other things. I'm pretty sure it's...not simple lust. I, um. I'm not usually..." Dammnit words are the worst things in the world for her.
Derek blinks, pauses, waits for her to finish.
"You're so wonderful, I ...I...You're...When you..." She makes a helpless sound.
"Jun..."
"Hai?"
Derek looks to the ground, to her hand...gently wraps his own around hers, and looks at her questioningly before pulling her close.
Oh, yes, this is good! She flows into his arms. Sighs happily. Tries not step on his toes. Laughs into his neck. "I'm sorry."
Derek laughs with her, a quiet sound.
"It's all right..." his voice is still soft, low: still careful...Maybe because he's not sure he isn't hallucinating this, he wraps his arms around her. "You...don't have anything to be sorry for..."
"Oh...that's the thing...I'm not even sorry about the mess of things with Joe sometimes. I...Sometimes I'm angry...Really angry. But lately? Things are...I feel fine, Derek. I think...I think a lot of that has to do with our friendship and...How good you are with me."
Derek smiles a little, reaches up to brush aside her hair in that way he's developed lately. "Jun..."
She swallows. "Yes, Derek-kun?" Smiles wide, bites lip as a reminder not to show her teeth. Remembers in his culture that isn't rude and lets loose with a sunrise smile*
"...The feeling is...yo deseo... también," He finishes.
Jun nods. "Yo Se."
"Jun...you are...peace. For me..."
"Yes?" She looks a little cross because her brow is pinned down just above her nose. "Really? How is that...?" Shakes her head.
"...You are a friend...but...you..." He tried.
"I ...I think that...I'm at something like peace more-so because..." Jun interjected
"In you, I have a reason to smile," Derek finishes, then pauses, looking at her curiously. "'Because'...?"
Jun shakes her head. A bobby pin slides out of her pinned up hair and her chignon comes mostly undone.
"...I-I don't know, what it is. I...I like you. I like being with you. I like seeing you even when I'm dirty and smelly... When I want to *hurt* somebody or say something nasty? It doesn't occur to me to...not want you to see me. I don't...worry about what you think of me or my behavior. I-I...I don't worry if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm helping you enough or if you'll still l-l- want me to be around if I do something you don't like...." Tears are standing in her eyes.
Derek took a breath, "Jun...." he manages before she goes on.
"I-I, I'm not used to that but I-- let me finish! I don't think I need it from anyone else if I have it from you. Not even from Joe."
Derek nods, stays quiet. She did say to let her finish.
"Not even from..." She can't finish that. That's a bit much to say -- Dead People --but she has her suspicions.
Derek still stays quiet. Just holds her, waiting...ready to listen to anything she has to say.
Jun shakes her head. "I'm done..." Her voice is soft.
Derek nods. "My turn?" He remains just as quiet as her when speaking.
Jun nods.
Another deep breath, and Derek let it all out, "...You are peace for me. I don't sleep well when you aren't here. I miss your voice when you've gone home. I can laugh when we're together...the world isn't so dark. I enjoy talking with you, no matter if it's about engines, or money, or a job, or the color of a rose, or the stars. I don't wonder what it is you really want from me. And everytime I try to imagine 'home', I imagine you. I want to protect you, even though I know you can protect yourself...but I don't want to shove you behind me either. I...everything about you, Jun...from how sweet you are to children, to your temper when someone has upset you ...I can't imagine never seeing that again...I haven't been able to for awhile..." He paused, gathering himself for a moment, "You are....I don't have any words good enough, Jun. Not in any language. I only know that...If I had a home...if I had a place to be, to return to when I'm done wandering, it's you."
"Oh. Oh. I-I... You..." surprised exhalation. "You love me." It's shock that has her eyes so wide -- it's surprise she isn't overwhelmed though...and as far as she can tell she's... "Derek, I..." she hugs him. He's solid and he makes sense and it's hard to stand with his words branded inside where she's softest and most tender and always so damn alone. "Why is it so easy with us?" She's not complaining. "Why am I so safe with you?" Why, she wonders, Am I crying? She laughs at herself, and she moves to kiss him.
Derek only hesitates for a second...he's a little dazed himself--from what she said, what he said, from the sudden unexpected moment, and then he meets her lips with his own. There isn't anything frantic about the kiss, but insistent and gentle at the same time. He's not going anywhere...not now, not with one hand getting tangled in her hair and the other arm holding her as close as he can without starting to crush her.
There goes my hair, Jun thinks as Derek's fingers tug and stroke at her curls. He...tastes like he smells, which is wonderful --comforting and arousing which isn't something she's particularly used to. She'd like to get used to it. She'd like to get used to the shape of his face as sensed by her mouth; the rasp of his breath when her hand finds freedom between the trap of their bodies and works its way into his shirt.
She's throbbing but in no hurry. Happy -- she thinks she's happy. Even though she's not sure what comes next, she's almost sure they'll be going through it together.
Derek felt Jun's hands work their way under his shirt. Another jolt to how things had been five minutes ago compared to now. His next intake of air was a little sharper than usual, and he gasped slightly. He felt her lips tracing places that hadn't been touched that way in quite a while. His response was to gently lick her lips before starting a careful chain of kisses down her jaw line and to her neck. Some part of him was wondering if he was going too fast, but at the moment, most of his mind was more concerned with the soft flesh under his lips and tongue...slow...he went slow...just feel....
She'd taken a nap, cleansed herself, and put on a pretty dress with every intention of going to Yvaine's fair with or without Derek. She was still in her pretty dress, even her domino, but was putting hands on her good friend in a way that let her know more about his flesh than she'd thought to discover.
He was smooth over his ribs, smooth and welcome as satin against her fingertips on his sides. His mouth was a revelation -- his kisses were as unhurried as clouds in the sky of a calm, hot day. When he licked her, that tripped a switch and her knees stopped doing their job so she sagged in his arms. Then he caught her up and made love to her neck. She wound her one hand in his shirt, hooked three fingers in his waistband, and tried not to float away from the present.
Derek eventually made his way to Jun's ear, once again using his tongue to tease at her lobe before gently nibbling at the soft flesh. He could feel the warmth of her body against him as he held her, felt the fingers that were now between the waistband of his pants and his skin...he was becoming aware that she had far too much cloth on for his liking..... and if he didn't stop right now, there might be some serious problems...Derek paused, taking a deep breath as he laid his forehead against her shoulder, closing his eyes. He could feel her heart under his one hand. Her hair was a silk sheet entangled in his other. Scent...her scent....he'd managed to stop, but he couldn't seem to let go of her. He tried to speak, say anything at all, and ended up simply holding onto her. He didn't want to let go. He didn't dare move again, at least not until his mind had quit flatlining on him.
There were several false starts as Derek held her close. She'd lost a shoe. She'd lost her hair-do. She'd lost her mind when his tongue had touched her ear. The click of the jewelry against his teeth, the warmth, wet, and heat of his mouth. His struggling breath, all had combined to raise her blood. He leaned into her with his strength. His wonderful, strong arms held her close against him. His kisses and caress startling contrast to the strength coiled within him...from the arms banded across her body, crushing her softness into the unyielding thrill of his chest...the drag of his belt-buckle through her dress. She was melting against him...spread like heat towards the end of the day. Her fingers didn't wander, but the skin of her hands did its best to memorize his shape beneath his shirt.
"Derek..." she whispered. "Derek," she said. "Take me to bed." She wanted to climb on and in and find herself shattered beneath him. "Ti voglio." And when she heard what she said, her voice broke and she felt shame for her size, her build, and her presence.
Derek heard the first words and felt something akin to a warm chill spatter down his spine. She wasn't refusing...she was asking, and he was about to answer...and felt Jun go suddenly stiff...and where his own logic hadn't been able to get him turned around, her reaction did. He raised his head, looking at her. Concern was suddenly overwhelming everything else. Had he managed to fuck it up after all...? He blinked. Where supple flesh had been under his hands a moment before, he was now holding a solid pillar.
"Jun...?" quietly, "¿Qué he hecho?"
She shook her head, "I shouldn't have...I... Voglio. Italian. I-I..."
"Why...?"
Two hot tears spilled from her eyes.
"No comprendo, Jun. Wakarimasen....Non capisco." He watched as more tears followed, "Jun...." concerned, worry, "Talk to me...please..."
She'd wipe one away, then wipe her face. Dry her hand off in her hair and have to wipe away another. She nodded. Held up a finger, and continued to sniff. Derek reached up to wipe away a few tears himself. He paused, waiting.
And then she remembered -- being turned away from Joe when she'd gone over thinking that she'd finally get to hold her-heart-that-was-Joe. She'd tried to put it behind her. She had. But it was having its say and all she could do was put a hand over her heart and say, "Joji." She made herself look at Derek. She mouthed an apology. Then in a soft voice that was nearly a hiss because she was trying so hard not to sob outloud. "I think I love you. Why do I hurt?"
Derek looked at her...thinking...'Joji'...That would be Joe...Derek closed his eyes for a minute, taking a deep breath. Of course...and he'd forgotten...and he even knew about Joe. Derek clamped his mouth shut for a moment, feeling irritation. Not at Jun...but at the timing...at the long wait... that might end up being longer than he thought....Finally, he opened his eyes. He wasn't going to get angry. No. Not at Joe, not at Jun. This was normal, he reminded himself, and it's not her fault you lost your patience and charged forward, now is it? He met her eyes after another moment, once he'd was calm, "Because -that- still hurts..." he replied quietly. "Because Joe still hurts..." he looked away for a moment, then back, "Jun...if you need time...I can give you that...all you need. I -won't- leave. And I'm sorry....for moving too fast...I'll back off if that's what you need....but I won't leave you..."
She released the breath she'd been holding and started to extricate herself from Derek's embrace. "It's..." she touched a hand to her messed up hair and shrugged the shoulder bereft of a purple strap. "It's..." She gave up on her hair and put the strap where it belonged. "We moved too fast." A short laugh. "Look at your shirt. You should see your face!"
His lips were swollen. His hair was all over. lipstick was smeared on him from temple to nose, mouth and jaw. She'd even gotten some on his collar.
"I guess I need time." She reached for his sensible, sensitive hands. A shiver went through her as she caught a vague sense memory of feeling them through the silk of her gown. "I want you. I want more time with you."
Derek nodded, letting her take his hands. A part of him couldn't help but feel a little hurt, but he knew that would pass. Too fast...not ready. This was why you waited, remember? Gently, he raised her hands and gently kissed the back of both before lowering them again.
"Take your time, Jun. I won't be going anywhere..." he paused. "I want you...really want you, but I have to wait..." Until the world ends if necessary. He didn't say that, but it wandered about in his heart as he looked at her. It was perhaps one of the most miserable moments of his life. But he'd live through it. And it didn't change a damned thing about how he felt about her. He loved her...still loved her, would love her when he woke up in the morning....
"More time..." he echoed, and offered her a smile.
"Yes...or...we could and...we could 'keep' until I stopped noticing what hurt. Not that you hurt. It's...You're so handsome. And sometimes you're so...solid and practical and hot... I...think about you and me...together like that..." Jun stopped again.
Derek gave Jun's hands a gentle squeeze, "Not until you've healed. And I'll wait for that day...but not until then."
Jun sighed. "Okay for now. But...it's not fair. I...okay." She squeezed his hands. "You're wonderful." She walked her fingers up his forearms and raised her mouth to his in less frenzied manner than before when she'd embraced him. He returned the kiss, also carefully, gently. When they parted again, he smiled, and it was warmer than a few moments before, "I'll be here. After thirty years, I think I can wait a little longer." His voice was firm--he meant it. No one, nothing, would dislodge him. "...I think I destroyed your hair, though..."
"Derek?"
"Yes."
She should be looking at him for this. "Were you planning on visiting Stormhold this evening?"
"I wasn't...but I can go..."
Her hamstrings are aching from keeping her legs from shaking.
"I'd like for you to go with me, if you'd like to..."
Derek nods, "....You all right, Jun?"
Silent nod, enormous eyes and a mouth that's curled in on itself. A hand slips out of her silver-stuff domino and toys with one of her curls.
Derek cocks his head curiously. "What's up?"
Jun turns her face to the side, extends a hand. There's a slight tremor. Her face is all roses.
He takes her hand, still curious. His eyebrow is twitching slightly, which means it's considering taking a voyage up his forhead.
"I want you. I've tried chocolate and other things. I'm pretty sure it's...not simple lust. I, um. I'm not usually..." Dammnit words are the worst things in the world for her.
Derek blinks, pauses, waits for her to finish.
"You're so wonderful, I ...I...You're...When you..." She makes a helpless sound.
"Jun..."
"Hai?"
Derek looks to the ground, to her hand...gently wraps his own around hers, and looks at her questioningly before pulling her close.
Oh, yes, this is good! She flows into his arms. Sighs happily. Tries not step on his toes. Laughs into his neck. "I'm sorry."
Derek laughs with her, a quiet sound.
"It's all right..." his voice is still soft, low: still careful...Maybe because he's not sure he isn't hallucinating this, he wraps his arms around her. "You...don't have anything to be sorry for..."
"Oh...that's the thing...I'm not even sorry about the mess of things with Joe sometimes. I...Sometimes I'm angry...Really angry. But lately? Things are...I feel fine, Derek. I think...I think a lot of that has to do with our friendship and...How good you are with me."
Derek smiles a little, reaches up to brush aside her hair in that way he's developed lately. "Jun..."
She swallows. "Yes, Derek-kun?" Smiles wide, bites lip as a reminder not to show her teeth. Remembers in his culture that isn't rude and lets loose with a sunrise smile*
"...The feeling is...yo deseo... también," He finishes.
Jun nods. "Yo Se."
"Jun...you are...peace. For me..."
"Yes?" She looks a little cross because her brow is pinned down just above her nose. "Really? How is that...?" Shakes her head.
"...You are a friend...but...you..." He tried.
"I ...I think that...I'm at something like peace more-so because..." Jun interjected
"In you, I have a reason to smile," Derek finishes, then pauses, looking at her curiously. "'Because'...?"
Jun shakes her head. A bobby pin slides out of her pinned up hair and her chignon comes mostly undone.
"...I-I don't know, what it is. I...I like you. I like being with you. I like seeing you even when I'm dirty and smelly... When I want to *hurt* somebody or say something nasty? It doesn't occur to me to...not want you to see me. I don't...worry about what you think of me or my behavior. I-I...I don't worry if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm helping you enough or if you'll still l-l- want me to be around if I do something you don't like...." Tears are standing in her eyes.
Derek took a breath, "Jun...." he manages before she goes on.
"I-I, I'm not used to that but I-- let me finish! I don't think I need it from anyone else if I have it from you. Not even from Joe."
Derek nods, stays quiet. She did say to let her finish.
"Not even from..." She can't finish that. That's a bit much to say -- Dead People --but she has her suspicions.
Derek still stays quiet. Just holds her, waiting...ready to listen to anything she has to say.
Jun shakes her head. "I'm done..." Her voice is soft.
Derek nods. "My turn?" He remains just as quiet as her when speaking.
Jun nods.
Another deep breath, and Derek let it all out, "...You are peace for me. I don't sleep well when you aren't here. I miss your voice when you've gone home. I can laugh when we're together...the world isn't so dark. I enjoy talking with you, no matter if it's about engines, or money, or a job, or the color of a rose, or the stars. I don't wonder what it is you really want from me. And everytime I try to imagine 'home', I imagine you. I want to protect you, even though I know you can protect yourself...but I don't want to shove you behind me either. I...everything about you, Jun...from how sweet you are to children, to your temper when someone has upset you ...I can't imagine never seeing that again...I haven't been able to for awhile..." He paused, gathering himself for a moment, "You are....I don't have any words good enough, Jun. Not in any language. I only know that...If I had a home...if I had a place to be, to return to when I'm done wandering, it's you."
"Oh. Oh. I-I... You..." surprised exhalation. "You love me." It's shock that has her eyes so wide -- it's surprise she isn't overwhelmed though...and as far as she can tell she's... "Derek, I..." she hugs him. He's solid and he makes sense and it's hard to stand with his words branded inside where she's softest and most tender and always so damn alone. "Why is it so easy with us?" She's not complaining. "Why am I so safe with you?" Why, she wonders, Am I crying? She laughs at herself, and she moves to kiss him.
Derek only hesitates for a second...he's a little dazed himself--from what she said, what he said, from the sudden unexpected moment, and then he meets her lips with his own. There isn't anything frantic about the kiss, but insistent and gentle at the same time. He's not going anywhere...not now, not with one hand getting tangled in her hair and the other arm holding her as close as he can without starting to crush her.
There goes my hair, Jun thinks as Derek's fingers tug and stroke at her curls. He...tastes like he smells, which is wonderful --comforting and arousing which isn't something she's particularly used to. She'd like to get used to it. She'd like to get used to the shape of his face as sensed by her mouth; the rasp of his breath when her hand finds freedom between the trap of their bodies and works its way into his shirt.
She's throbbing but in no hurry. Happy -- she thinks she's happy. Even though she's not sure what comes next, she's almost sure they'll be going through it together.
Derek felt Jun's hands work their way under his shirt. Another jolt to how things had been five minutes ago compared to now. His next intake of air was a little sharper than usual, and he gasped slightly. He felt her lips tracing places that hadn't been touched that way in quite a while. His response was to gently lick her lips before starting a careful chain of kisses down her jaw line and to her neck. Some part of him was wondering if he was going too fast, but at the moment, most of his mind was more concerned with the soft flesh under his lips and tongue...slow...he went slow...just feel....
She'd taken a nap, cleansed herself, and put on a pretty dress with every intention of going to Yvaine's fair with or without Derek. She was still in her pretty dress, even her domino, but was putting hands on her good friend in a way that let her know more about his flesh than she'd thought to discover.
He was smooth over his ribs, smooth and welcome as satin against her fingertips on his sides. His mouth was a revelation -- his kisses were as unhurried as clouds in the sky of a calm, hot day. When he licked her, that tripped a switch and her knees stopped doing their job so she sagged in his arms. Then he caught her up and made love to her neck. She wound her one hand in his shirt, hooked three fingers in his waistband, and tried not to float away from the present.
Derek eventually made his way to Jun's ear, once again using his tongue to tease at her lobe before gently nibbling at the soft flesh. He could feel the warmth of her body against him as he held her, felt the fingers that were now between the waistband of his pants and his skin...he was becoming aware that she had far too much cloth on for his liking..... and if he didn't stop right now, there might be some serious problems...Derek paused, taking a deep breath as he laid his forehead against her shoulder, closing his eyes. He could feel her heart under his one hand. Her hair was a silk sheet entangled in his other. Scent...her scent....he'd managed to stop, but he couldn't seem to let go of her. He tried to speak, say anything at all, and ended up simply holding onto her. He didn't want to let go. He didn't dare move again, at least not until his mind had quit flatlining on him.
There were several false starts as Derek held her close. She'd lost a shoe. She'd lost her hair-do. She'd lost her mind when his tongue had touched her ear. The click of the jewelry against his teeth, the warmth, wet, and heat of his mouth. His struggling breath, all had combined to raise her blood. He leaned into her with his strength. His wonderful, strong arms held her close against him. His kisses and caress startling contrast to the strength coiled within him...from the arms banded across her body, crushing her softness into the unyielding thrill of his chest...the drag of his belt-buckle through her dress. She was melting against him...spread like heat towards the end of the day. Her fingers didn't wander, but the skin of her hands did its best to memorize his shape beneath his shirt.
"Derek..." she whispered. "Derek," she said. "Take me to bed." She wanted to climb on and in and find herself shattered beneath him. "Ti voglio." And when she heard what she said, her voice broke and she felt shame for her size, her build, and her presence.
Derek heard the first words and felt something akin to a warm chill spatter down his spine. She wasn't refusing...she was asking, and he was about to answer...and felt Jun go suddenly stiff...and where his own logic hadn't been able to get him turned around, her reaction did. He raised his head, looking at her. Concern was suddenly overwhelming everything else. Had he managed to fuck it up after all...? He blinked. Where supple flesh had been under his hands a moment before, he was now holding a solid pillar.
"Jun...?" quietly, "¿Qué he hecho?"
She shook her head, "I shouldn't have...I... Voglio. Italian. I-I..."
"Why...?"
Two hot tears spilled from her eyes.
"No comprendo, Jun. Wakarimasen....Non capisco." He watched as more tears followed, "Jun...." concerned, worry, "Talk to me...please..."
She'd wipe one away, then wipe her face. Dry her hand off in her hair and have to wipe away another. She nodded. Held up a finger, and continued to sniff. Derek reached up to wipe away a few tears himself. He paused, waiting.
And then she remembered -- being turned away from Joe when she'd gone over thinking that she'd finally get to hold her-heart-that-was-Joe. She'd tried to put it behind her. She had. But it was having its say and all she could do was put a hand over her heart and say, "Joji." She made herself look at Derek. She mouthed an apology. Then in a soft voice that was nearly a hiss because she was trying so hard not to sob outloud. "I think I love you. Why do I hurt?"
Derek looked at her...thinking...'Joji'...That would be Joe...Derek closed his eyes for a minute, taking a deep breath. Of course...and he'd forgotten...and he even knew about Joe. Derek clamped his mouth shut for a moment, feeling irritation. Not at Jun...but at the timing...at the long wait... that might end up being longer than he thought....Finally, he opened his eyes. He wasn't going to get angry. No. Not at Joe, not at Jun. This was normal, he reminded himself, and it's not her fault you lost your patience and charged forward, now is it? He met her eyes after another moment, once he'd was calm, "Because -that- still hurts..." he replied quietly. "Because Joe still hurts..." he looked away for a moment, then back, "Jun...if you need time...I can give you that...all you need. I -won't- leave. And I'm sorry....for moving too fast...I'll back off if that's what you need....but I won't leave you..."
She released the breath she'd been holding and started to extricate herself from Derek's embrace. "It's..." she touched a hand to her messed up hair and shrugged the shoulder bereft of a purple strap. "It's..." She gave up on her hair and put the strap where it belonged. "We moved too fast." A short laugh. "Look at your shirt. You should see your face!"
His lips were swollen. His hair was all over. lipstick was smeared on him from temple to nose, mouth and jaw. She'd even gotten some on his collar.
"I guess I need time." She reached for his sensible, sensitive hands. A shiver went through her as she caught a vague sense memory of feeling them through the silk of her gown. "I want you. I want more time with you."
Derek nodded, letting her take his hands. A part of him couldn't help but feel a little hurt, but he knew that would pass. Too fast...not ready. This was why you waited, remember? Gently, he raised her hands and gently kissed the back of both before lowering them again.
"Take your time, Jun. I won't be going anywhere..." he paused. "I want you...really want you, but I have to wait..." Until the world ends if necessary. He didn't say that, but it wandered about in his heart as he looked at her. It was perhaps one of the most miserable moments of his life. But he'd live through it. And it didn't change a damned thing about how he felt about her. He loved her...still loved her, would love her when he woke up in the morning....
"More time..." he echoed, and offered her a smile.
"Yes...or...we could and...we could 'keep' until I stopped noticing what hurt. Not that you hurt. It's...You're so handsome. And sometimes you're so...solid and practical and hot... I...think about you and me...together like that..." Jun stopped again.
Derek gave Jun's hands a gentle squeeze, "Not until you've healed. And I'll wait for that day...but not until then."
Jun sighed. "Okay for now. But...it's not fair. I...okay." She squeezed his hands. "You're wonderful." She walked her fingers up his forearms and raised her mouth to his in less frenzied manner than before when she'd embraced him. He returned the kiss, also carefully, gently. When they parted again, he smiled, and it was warmer than a few moments before, "I'll be here. After thirty years, I think I can wait a little longer." His voice was firm--he meant it. No one, nothing, would dislodge him. "...I think I destroyed your hair, though..."