(no subject)

[shiranaix]

I am. So tired. Of always being second best. In everything. It seems like I'm always everyones' second choice, especially in the area of guys. Every guy I've ever liked has likes me back, but not QUITE as much as that other guy, but I'm a good backup plan. Even with friends, a lot of the time, I get the feeling that I'm the second choice. Yanno, if so-and-so can't hang out, then I'll call Matt. Then again, I'm paranoid, and I hate it, but it's just the feeling I get, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having my feelings fucked around with, I'm tired of having my emotions and everything toyed with, I just want to meet someone who's sincere about something. [Sigh]

I don't know what I want.

Well, yes I do, but I can't have it.

This sucks all ass. I'm such an immature, illogical little prick.