(no subject)
I just had a very strange experience that I feel the need to write down.
My great Aunt (mother's aunt) is 94 years old, and is not in the best condition. She is becoming forgetful and her health is steadily deteriorating. She asked my mother and grandparents to begin looking into assisted living facilities for her to move into. She says she can't live alone much longer - she forgets to lock her apartment sometimes, and cannot remember whether she turned off appliances. There have been many times when we have all been visiting in my grandparents' apartment and my mother of father has had to go back to her apartment with her to make sure she closed and locked the door. It's sad, but she realizes she needs help and was the one to suggest an assisted living place.
We were planning on going with her to several places on Long Island this week, because my mother, sister, and I all have off from work and school, and she requested to be closer to us. We had an appointment to go to a place in Queens with her, but she called the house roughly twenty minutes ago saying she did not want to see the place in Queens. I did not hear the exact conversation my mother had with her, but my mother is now calling a place in Commack and explaining what is happening to someone who is working there.
She says that my Aunt is delusional, and she can't comprehend what is necessary in order to move into an assisted living facility. She says she can barely move anymore, and that she won't be able to pack up her belongings in her apartment, and she refuses to transfer money out of bank accounts so that the government won't take all of it.
This may not seem like such a big deal, but I'm so upset. My great aunt is not healthy, and she seems to be tired of living. Maybe it is because she never married or had any children, or maybe it is because she has seen all but one of her siblings die. I think she was among the oldest of her eight other siblings, but I'm not sure. I do know though, that siblings who were younger than her died and she thinks she should have gone first. It is so sad though, firstly to think that she has always been a part of my life, but also to think that I was never close with her, and I really don't know anything about her. I don't know about my Aunt's childhood, her past, her family history - really nothing. She just loves me unconditionally, and I hate that now it is too late to get close to her, because she will think it is because she is going to die soon or that I want inheritance money.
My mother is arguing with the person from Gurwin about money, and how she doesn't want inheritance money from our aunt, but she doesn't want all of it to be taken by the government. Everything is so contradictory. It's not about money, but it completely is. It's supposed to make my aunt happier, but it's making her very upset.
I can't stand seeing my family like this - my mother's side is so worried about her but they don't have the patience to handle her. My mother just said, "She's being so difficult about this. It's coming down to me just driving her over to a place and me saying, 'Here, this is where you're staying'". That's horrible.
So the strange experience mentioned in the opening line of this entry is that I went on my AIM to find somebody to talk to about my feelings - anybody. But of the sixty-seven people online, I couldn't IM any of them comfortably to talk. Granted most had their away messages up, but that doesn't matter because most people just sit there and when they see an IM they come back. I could talk to none of those people though. Technology puts communications with virtually anyone at your fingertips. Everyone was there, but nobody was really there. In a virtual world where I was connected to the entire world, I was alone.
It makes one wonder.
<3 Shira
My great Aunt (mother's aunt) is 94 years old, and is not in the best condition. She is becoming forgetful and her health is steadily deteriorating. She asked my mother and grandparents to begin looking into assisted living facilities for her to move into. She says she can't live alone much longer - she forgets to lock her apartment sometimes, and cannot remember whether she turned off appliances. There have been many times when we have all been visiting in my grandparents' apartment and my mother of father has had to go back to her apartment with her to make sure she closed and locked the door. It's sad, but she realizes she needs help and was the one to suggest an assisted living place.
We were planning on going with her to several places on Long Island this week, because my mother, sister, and I all have off from work and school, and she requested to be closer to us. We had an appointment to go to a place in Queens with her, but she called the house roughly twenty minutes ago saying she did not want to see the place in Queens. I did not hear the exact conversation my mother had with her, but my mother is now calling a place in Commack and explaining what is happening to someone who is working there.
She says that my Aunt is delusional, and she can't comprehend what is necessary in order to move into an assisted living facility. She says she can barely move anymore, and that she won't be able to pack up her belongings in her apartment, and she refuses to transfer money out of bank accounts so that the government won't take all of it.
This may not seem like such a big deal, but I'm so upset. My great aunt is not healthy, and she seems to be tired of living. Maybe it is because she never married or had any children, or maybe it is because she has seen all but one of her siblings die. I think she was among the oldest of her eight other siblings, but I'm not sure. I do know though, that siblings who were younger than her died and she thinks she should have gone first. It is so sad though, firstly to think that she has always been a part of my life, but also to think that I was never close with her, and I really don't know anything about her. I don't know about my Aunt's childhood, her past, her family history - really nothing. She just loves me unconditionally, and I hate that now it is too late to get close to her, because she will think it is because she is going to die soon or that I want inheritance money.
My mother is arguing with the person from Gurwin about money, and how she doesn't want inheritance money from our aunt, but she doesn't want all of it to be taken by the government. Everything is so contradictory. It's not about money, but it completely is. It's supposed to make my aunt happier, but it's making her very upset.
I can't stand seeing my family like this - my mother's side is so worried about her but they don't have the patience to handle her. My mother just said, "She's being so difficult about this. It's coming down to me just driving her over to a place and me saying, 'Here, this is where you're staying'". That's horrible.
So the strange experience mentioned in the opening line of this entry is that I went on my AIM to find somebody to talk to about my feelings - anybody. But of the sixty-seven people online, I couldn't IM any of them comfortably to talk. Granted most had their away messages up, but that doesn't matter because most people just sit there and when they see an IM they come back. I could talk to none of those people though. Technology puts communications with virtually anyone at your fingertips. Everyone was there, but nobody was really there. In a virtual world where I was connected to the entire world, I was alone.
It makes one wonder.
<3 Shira