back from vacation!
We went on vacation to see our good friends Alex and John (and to secure them as the future "just in case" guardians of our future children (that's how much we love them!) and that was an amazing visit~we always pick right up where we left off like it was only yesterday and not months in between. Their son will be 4 on Halloween, and we adore him~he kept waking up early to come crawl into bed with us to snuggle.
Then we visited my folks, and that was good~as expected, they raved over how much Zach has lost~which is a lot, he's lost 80 pounds and it's really obvious~but my 25ish lost pounds is not really THAT obvious, and my mom was still all on my case about it. No one~no boyfriend or husband or skinny ass model~can make a girl feel as self-conscious about her body more than her mother~especially when the mother is a size 4.
She told me some hilarious recent stories about my grandpa though~grandpa is 89 (90 in December) but is spry and funny and completely tactless and unPC. A few years ago, he told me I could go make some good money working at Hooters. SO ANYWAY. He moved into a retirement home a few months back after divorcing his most recent wife after like, 3 months of marriage. He was smoking his pipe and flirting with an elderly resident when a nurse said "Errol, are you smoking? Don't you know smoking a pipe will make you impotent?" just joking around. Grandpa immediately threw his pipe and all his tobacco in the trash and made some comment about not taking any chances of THAT happening. Pervy old grandpa.
Also~he ran into his ex-girlfriend Myrtle last week (from a few months before he married his recent ex-wife Margaret) at Hardees one morning, and they sat together and had their coffee and whatever~Margaret was driving by and noticed their vehicles in the parking lot, so she parked and went into the Hardees. Then she and Myrtle got into a coffee throwing, hair pulling fistfight over my grandpa IN THE HARDEES. The POLICE WERE CALLED, and Margaret threatened to shoot Myrtle and grandpa. Grandpa now has a restraining order against the both of them, and Margaret was arrested.
MY GRANDFATHER IS A PIMP AND IS LEGENDARY.
Then we visited my folks, and that was good~as expected, they raved over how much Zach has lost~which is a lot, he's lost 80 pounds and it's really obvious~but my 25ish lost pounds is not really THAT obvious, and my mom was still all on my case about it. No one~no boyfriend or husband or skinny ass model~can make a girl feel as self-conscious about her body more than her mother~especially when the mother is a size 4.
She told me some hilarious recent stories about my grandpa though~grandpa is 89 (90 in December) but is spry and funny and completely tactless and unPC. A few years ago, he told me I could go make some good money working at Hooters. SO ANYWAY. He moved into a retirement home a few months back after divorcing his most recent wife after like, 3 months of marriage. He was smoking his pipe and flirting with an elderly resident when a nurse said "Errol, are you smoking? Don't you know smoking a pipe will make you impotent?" just joking around. Grandpa immediately threw his pipe and all his tobacco in the trash and made some comment about not taking any chances of THAT happening. Pervy old grandpa.
Also~he ran into his ex-girlfriend Myrtle last week (from a few months before he married his recent ex-wife Margaret) at Hardees one morning, and they sat together and had their coffee and whatever~Margaret was driving by and noticed their vehicles in the parking lot, so she parked and went into the Hardees. Then she and Myrtle got into a coffee throwing, hair pulling fistfight over my grandpa IN THE HARDEES. The POLICE WERE CALLED, and Margaret threatened to shoot Myrtle and grandpa. Grandpa now has a restraining order against the both of them, and Margaret was arrested.
MY GRANDFATHER IS A PIMP AND IS LEGENDARY.