Fate in a Phone Call and a Letter
Title: Fate in a Phone Call and a Letter
Author: VVIPforSeungri
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: BaeRi
Word Count: 2094
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: Youngbae sends Seungri his last phone call.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, no matter how hard I try.
AN: Oh wow, where did this angst come from? Anyway, first real BaeRi fic that I actually like. I'm happy, my drive to write has come back. Annoying though, that I can only write when I don't have time to. FML. Anyway, enjoy this rare!ship :) ps. I LOVE TEEN TOP's CRAZY. SO EFFING MUCH.
YoungBae didn’t know why he was there. Not really, or at least, he told himself he didn’t know.
The bells chimed above him as he pushed the door in, stepping out of the rain into the tiny bookshop, shivering as the warmth wrapped around him. The elderly man who ran the shop barely even glanced his way before returning to his own battered book. YoungBae swept his eyes around the old place, the memories of his time here coming back in a rush.
He thumbed along the spines of the books, picking up a book or two randomly. He couldn’t stall for very long, though, and he soon found himself in the romance section. He pretended to be interested in a few, but eventually he abandoned that pretence and resorted to searching through the titles, looking...
He felt his heart leap when he recognized the cover and pulled the book out eagerly, running his hands through the pages. The old, musty pages smelled of mildew, as it had the first time he’d found it. He smirked for a second at the swooning woman on the cover, held by who he supposed had to be her star-crossed lover. He opened the book then, turning the pages until he reached the one he’d been looking for, page three hundred and seventeen.
It was still there. YoungBae pulled out the tiny scrap of paper with shaking hands and unfolded it, revealing a string of digits written in neat handwriting. No one had ever found the number, then. Just as YoungBae had predicted secretly to himself when he’d accompanied the maknae to the bookstore on a rainy day not unlike today.
“Why do you read these things, SeungRi-yah? They’re for girls. Besides, if JiYong ever finds out he’ll never let you live it down.” YoungBae smirked and thumped the maknae on the head with a random book.
SeungRi looked up from his spot on the floor with a scowl. “They are not only for girls, hyung! And you’d never tell JiYong-hyung anyway.” He hesitated for a moment before asking, “You wouldn’t, right?”
“Maybe I will,” replied YoungBae easily, sinking down beside SeungRi with a book of his own, though it wasn’t some silly romance novel.
“Hyung!”
YoungBae laughed. “Don’t worry, maknae. Your secret’s safe with me, no matter how weird it is.”
SeungRi returned to his book, reassured, though YoungBae heard him mutter ‘not weird’ under his breath. YoungBae let him read for a bit, while he opened his book to a random page and occupied his time staring at SeungRi instead of actually reading. He didn’t know why, but there was something about the maknae that made him do that all the time, staring at him with wide eyes. Maybe it was SeungRi’s face, how cute it looked when he was absorbed in his book, or maybe it was the delicate way he seemed to hold himself, or maybe it was just because SeungRi was stare-worthy in general. Either way, staring at SeungRi was something YoungBae indulged in much too often to be normal.
SeungRi seemed to notice YoungBae’s gaze, since he lifted his head and caught him red-handed. “What?”
YoungBae scrambled for something to say. “Uh, well, you never did answer my question. Why do you read these romance novels?”
SeungRi’s expression lightened, a dreamy look settling in his eyes. “I don’t know. I guess I just like reading about love that’s able to break through any boundaries... true love, you know? It gives me hope.”
“Hope for what?”
“That someday, love like that will happen to me.” SeungRi looked at YoungBae very seriously, a sad look in his eyes. “We’re idols, hyung. I can’t help but think I’ll never find someone who’ll love me for me and not for the person I pretend to be onstage.”
YoungBae felt vaguely uncomfortable at SeungRi’s honest answer. Love and feelings had never exactly been his strong point; the members hadn’t been lying when they’d said he’d never had a girlfriend before. “Uh... don’t worry, SeungRi. I’m sure you’ll find someone someday.”
SeungRi looked at him with the most curious expression on his face, something like a mix between despair and gentle amusement. “Yeah... maybe I’ll find someone.” He didn’t look very confident, though. YoungBae felt an odd urge to comfort SeungRi, somehow.
“Look, these books are all about true love and fate, right?” He waited until SeungRi had nodded before continuing. He smiled and pulled a random book off the shelves behind him, SeungRi watching him. It was a rather thick book, a love-struck couple on the cover. He pulled a scrap of paper from his pockets and a pen and wrote SeungRi’s cell-phone number out in careful characters. He glanced meaningfully at SeungRi before he slipped the scrap of paper between the pages 316 and 317. He snapped it shut and put it back where it came from before turning to meet SeungRi’s questioning stare.
“There. Your own fairytale romance. One day, some girl will come into this store and browse through the romance section. Then she’ll pick this book up and begin to read it. And when she finds your cell phone number, she’ll call you. Now that’s what I call fate.” YoungBae smirked at SeungRi’s doubtful, slightly astonished face. “And you’ll have your special someone who called you not because of popularity. And hell, maybe you’ll even fall in love. Remember to invite me to the wedding if you do, okay?” He nudged SeungRi playfully, snapping the maknae out of his sudden stupor.
SeungRi smiled weakly and nudged YoungBae back. “Yeah. Maybe.” He rolled his eyes before his expression grew serious again. “Thanks, hyung.”
YoungBae smiled back at SeungRi, oddly embarrassed. “No problem.”
SeungRi returned to his book, and YoungBae back to his (though not really), and they spent the rest of the afternoon reading. Until a certain Kwon Leadah called them and chewed them out about missing “BIGBANG-family-fun-time” or whatnot. Whatever that was.
YoungBae never did return to that bookstore, and SeungRi never asked.
YoungBae’s eyes filled with tears as he sat on the floor, holding the book in one hand and the slip of paper in the other. His own handwriting stared back up at him, SeungRi’s cell phone number written out precisely. It seemed SeungRi had never gotten his fairytale true love, in the end. No one had opened the book; no one had found the number.
Fate had failed him. SeungRi was gone and it was too late for him to receive his magical phone call.
YoungBae took a steadying breath and withdrew his own cell phone, which had remained silent for days. He’d turned it off after getting fed up with all the phone calls offering words of comfort, words he didn’t really care for. He powered the phone on, ignoring the message that said twenty-five missed phone calls.
He slowly typed in the number with trembling fingers. It’s just been a few days, after all, and SeungRi’s cell phone probably hadn’t been cancelled yet. He didn’t know why, but he felt a strong urge to call him, some insane desire to call SeungRi’s number, thinking maybe that’d give SeungRi what he had desperately wanted when he was still alive. It wasn’t exactly true love’s first kiss, but he knew SeungRi wouldn’t have minded.
Because even if SeungRi had longed for someone else, YoungBae had always longed for SeungRi. Maybe he hadn’t known it back then, when he’d had Fate promise SeungRi off to someone else, but he’d always felt it. That love that SeungRi thought he lacked. Guilt plagued YoungBae, had driven him away from everyone else once he’d heard the news. He’d convinced himself that maybe if he’d just confessed to SeungRi already, that SeungRi would still be alive. And even if he wouldn’t, YoungBae still wished he’d had at least a few days’ happiness before it was gone.
But it was too late. SeungRi was gone, and YoungBae had missed his chance.
It didn’t stop him from calling SeungRi, however.
He pressed the phone to his ear, listening to it ring and ring. It’s owner would never pick up, after all, not ever again. The ringing stopped and SeungRi’s cheery voice greeted him, telling him to leave a message.
‘Hi! I’m not here right now, but leave me a message and I’ll call you back ASAP! Ps. If this is JiYong, no, I’m not avoiding you. Have a nice day!’
YoungBae’s heart seemed to stutter, constricting painfully and making it hard to breathe. He heard the phone beep and he took a deep breath before delivering his last message to his maknae.
‘Hey. Hey, SeungRi. How’ve you been? I miss you. I know, I know. But I do. I do miss you. Don’t laugh at your overly-sentimental hyung, all right? ... Oh, I know you’re going to laugh anyway. But you always did like cheesy things like this, didn’t you? Well, get ready for the cheese then, because I have something important to say to you.
Remember that day we went to that bookstore? You said you were looking for true love, and I did that thing with the slip of paper, remember? No one found it, eh? Not that you were actually expecting someone to call anyway, right? Well, surprise! No, I’m serious, SeungRi! Probably not what you expected, but I love you; love you for you and not for your stage persona. And it’s gotta be true love, if I feel this cut up that I never got the chance to tell you this myself, in person. It hurts, SeungRi. It hurts...
But even if it’s too late, I want you to know you always had that true love you wanted, even if you weren’t looking for it in the right place. Remember that you were loved, even if you didn’t know it yourself.
I love you, okay? I don’t care if it’s Fate or not, all I know is that it’s true, and that I love you, and I’m going to miss you, and so will everyone else. Even DaeSung. He probably cried the most when they... when they buried you.
Well, I don’t know what else to say. I love you, Lee SeungHyun. I guess I’ll see you on the other side someday. It might take a while though; someone has to keep JiYong out of trouble. Bye, maknae.’
YoungBae let the phone slip out of his hand and drop to the floor, his screen flashing call ended. His throat closed painfully and he fought to keep from sobbing. He picked up his phone and closed it, and noticed the book lying next to it on the floor. The book.
YoungBae picked it up gingerly, tears streaming steadily down his face, and he opened it to page three hundred and seventeen. He put the slip of paper back into its place and was about to close the book when he noticed another slip of paper stuck in between the next two pages. His heart stopped, before picking up at a rapid pace.
He removed the other piece of paper and unfolded it. He recognized the familiar, messy scrawl immediately.
Hey, YoungBae-hyung!
I wonder if you’re ever going to read this. Probably not. You’ve probably forgot all about it, haven’t you? Haha... well, I didn’t, anyway. And on the off-chance you do remember this someday from now, well, you talked about Fate, didn’t you?
Anyway, on that day that I talked to you about finding true love, I think you misunderstood something. You wrote my number on the paper thinking I wanted some random girl to call me and fall in love with me, right? Well, what you didn’t know was that I wasn’t looking for someone like that at all. No, I was looking for you. I wanted you to realize that I’m pretty much desperately in love with you. You probably don’t feel the same way, but if you ever read this, and you feel the same way... I’ll be waiting for that phone call, okay? And don’t make me wait too long!
Love you,
SeungRi
YoungBae was crying freely now. He sobbed openly, clutching the letter to his chest as he screamed against the unfairness of it all. But beneath all the pain and loss, YoungBae felt... well, not happy, but relieved. Free. SeungRi had loved him. He hadn’t realized it, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that YoungBae knew now. Knew they’d loved each other in their own way, all the way until the end. And that was enough.
Author: VVIPforSeungri
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: BaeRi
Word Count: 2094
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: Youngbae sends Seungri his last phone call.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, no matter how hard I try.
AN: Oh wow, where did this angst come from? Anyway, first real BaeRi fic that I actually like. I'm happy, my drive to write has come back. Annoying though, that I can only write when I don't have time to. FML. Anyway, enjoy this rare!ship :) ps. I LOVE TEEN TOP's CRAZY. SO EFFING MUCH.
YoungBae didn’t know why he was there. Not really, or at least, he told himself he didn’t know.
The bells chimed above him as he pushed the door in, stepping out of the rain into the tiny bookshop, shivering as the warmth wrapped around him. The elderly man who ran the shop barely even glanced his way before returning to his own battered book. YoungBae swept his eyes around the old place, the memories of his time here coming back in a rush.
He thumbed along the spines of the books, picking up a book or two randomly. He couldn’t stall for very long, though, and he soon found himself in the romance section. He pretended to be interested in a few, but eventually he abandoned that pretence and resorted to searching through the titles, looking...
He felt his heart leap when he recognized the cover and pulled the book out eagerly, running his hands through the pages. The old, musty pages smelled of mildew, as it had the first time he’d found it. He smirked for a second at the swooning woman on the cover, held by who he supposed had to be her star-crossed lover. He opened the book then, turning the pages until he reached the one he’d been looking for, page three hundred and seventeen.
It was still there. YoungBae pulled out the tiny scrap of paper with shaking hands and unfolded it, revealing a string of digits written in neat handwriting. No one had ever found the number, then. Just as YoungBae had predicted secretly to himself when he’d accompanied the maknae to the bookstore on a rainy day not unlike today.
“Why do you read these things, SeungRi-yah? They’re for girls. Besides, if JiYong ever finds out he’ll never let you live it down.” YoungBae smirked and thumped the maknae on the head with a random book.
SeungRi looked up from his spot on the floor with a scowl. “They are not only for girls, hyung! And you’d never tell JiYong-hyung anyway.” He hesitated for a moment before asking, “You wouldn’t, right?”
“Maybe I will,” replied YoungBae easily, sinking down beside SeungRi with a book of his own, though it wasn’t some silly romance novel.
“Hyung!”
YoungBae laughed. “Don’t worry, maknae. Your secret’s safe with me, no matter how weird it is.”
SeungRi returned to his book, reassured, though YoungBae heard him mutter ‘not weird’ under his breath. YoungBae let him read for a bit, while he opened his book to a random page and occupied his time staring at SeungRi instead of actually reading. He didn’t know why, but there was something about the maknae that made him do that all the time, staring at him with wide eyes. Maybe it was SeungRi’s face, how cute it looked when he was absorbed in his book, or maybe it was the delicate way he seemed to hold himself, or maybe it was just because SeungRi was stare-worthy in general. Either way, staring at SeungRi was something YoungBae indulged in much too often to be normal.
SeungRi seemed to notice YoungBae’s gaze, since he lifted his head and caught him red-handed. “What?”
YoungBae scrambled for something to say. “Uh, well, you never did answer my question. Why do you read these romance novels?”
SeungRi’s expression lightened, a dreamy look settling in his eyes. “I don’t know. I guess I just like reading about love that’s able to break through any boundaries... true love, you know? It gives me hope.”
“Hope for what?”
“That someday, love like that will happen to me.” SeungRi looked at YoungBae very seriously, a sad look in his eyes. “We’re idols, hyung. I can’t help but think I’ll never find someone who’ll love me for me and not for the person I pretend to be onstage.”
YoungBae felt vaguely uncomfortable at SeungRi’s honest answer. Love and feelings had never exactly been his strong point; the members hadn’t been lying when they’d said he’d never had a girlfriend before. “Uh... don’t worry, SeungRi. I’m sure you’ll find someone someday.”
SeungRi looked at him with the most curious expression on his face, something like a mix between despair and gentle amusement. “Yeah... maybe I’ll find someone.” He didn’t look very confident, though. YoungBae felt an odd urge to comfort SeungRi, somehow.
“Look, these books are all about true love and fate, right?” He waited until SeungRi had nodded before continuing. He smiled and pulled a random book off the shelves behind him, SeungRi watching him. It was a rather thick book, a love-struck couple on the cover. He pulled a scrap of paper from his pockets and a pen and wrote SeungRi’s cell-phone number out in careful characters. He glanced meaningfully at SeungRi before he slipped the scrap of paper between the pages 316 and 317. He snapped it shut and put it back where it came from before turning to meet SeungRi’s questioning stare.
“There. Your own fairytale romance. One day, some girl will come into this store and browse through the romance section. Then she’ll pick this book up and begin to read it. And when she finds your cell phone number, she’ll call you. Now that’s what I call fate.” YoungBae smirked at SeungRi’s doubtful, slightly astonished face. “And you’ll have your special someone who called you not because of popularity. And hell, maybe you’ll even fall in love. Remember to invite me to the wedding if you do, okay?” He nudged SeungRi playfully, snapping the maknae out of his sudden stupor.
SeungRi smiled weakly and nudged YoungBae back. “Yeah. Maybe.” He rolled his eyes before his expression grew serious again. “Thanks, hyung.”
YoungBae smiled back at SeungRi, oddly embarrassed. “No problem.”
SeungRi returned to his book, and YoungBae back to his (though not really), and they spent the rest of the afternoon reading. Until a certain Kwon Leadah called them and chewed them out about missing “BIGBANG-family-fun-time” or whatnot. Whatever that was.
YoungBae never did return to that bookstore, and SeungRi never asked.
YoungBae’s eyes filled with tears as he sat on the floor, holding the book in one hand and the slip of paper in the other. His own handwriting stared back up at him, SeungRi’s cell phone number written out precisely. It seemed SeungRi had never gotten his fairytale true love, in the end. No one had opened the book; no one had found the number.
Fate had failed him. SeungRi was gone and it was too late for him to receive his magical phone call.
YoungBae took a steadying breath and withdrew his own cell phone, which had remained silent for days. He’d turned it off after getting fed up with all the phone calls offering words of comfort, words he didn’t really care for. He powered the phone on, ignoring the message that said twenty-five missed phone calls.
He slowly typed in the number with trembling fingers. It’s just been a few days, after all, and SeungRi’s cell phone probably hadn’t been cancelled yet. He didn’t know why, but he felt a strong urge to call him, some insane desire to call SeungRi’s number, thinking maybe that’d give SeungRi what he had desperately wanted when he was still alive. It wasn’t exactly true love’s first kiss, but he knew SeungRi wouldn’t have minded.
Because even if SeungRi had longed for someone else, YoungBae had always longed for SeungRi. Maybe he hadn’t known it back then, when he’d had Fate promise SeungRi off to someone else, but he’d always felt it. That love that SeungRi thought he lacked. Guilt plagued YoungBae, had driven him away from everyone else once he’d heard the news. He’d convinced himself that maybe if he’d just confessed to SeungRi already, that SeungRi would still be alive. And even if he wouldn’t, YoungBae still wished he’d had at least a few days’ happiness before it was gone.
But it was too late. SeungRi was gone, and YoungBae had missed his chance.
It didn’t stop him from calling SeungRi, however.
He pressed the phone to his ear, listening to it ring and ring. It’s owner would never pick up, after all, not ever again. The ringing stopped and SeungRi’s cheery voice greeted him, telling him to leave a message.
‘Hi! I’m not here right now, but leave me a message and I’ll call you back ASAP! Ps. If this is JiYong, no, I’m not avoiding you. Have a nice day!’
YoungBae’s heart seemed to stutter, constricting painfully and making it hard to breathe. He heard the phone beep and he took a deep breath before delivering his last message to his maknae.
‘Hey. Hey, SeungRi. How’ve you been? I miss you. I know, I know. But I do. I do miss you. Don’t laugh at your overly-sentimental hyung, all right? ... Oh, I know you’re going to laugh anyway. But you always did like cheesy things like this, didn’t you? Well, get ready for the cheese then, because I have something important to say to you.
Remember that day we went to that bookstore? You said you were looking for true love, and I did that thing with the slip of paper, remember? No one found it, eh? Not that you were actually expecting someone to call anyway, right? Well, surprise! No, I’m serious, SeungRi! Probably not what you expected, but I love you; love you for you and not for your stage persona. And it’s gotta be true love, if I feel this cut up that I never got the chance to tell you this myself, in person. It hurts, SeungRi. It hurts...
But even if it’s too late, I want you to know you always had that true love you wanted, even if you weren’t looking for it in the right place. Remember that you were loved, even if you didn’t know it yourself.
I love you, okay? I don’t care if it’s Fate or not, all I know is that it’s true, and that I love you, and I’m going to miss you, and so will everyone else. Even DaeSung. He probably cried the most when they... when they buried you.
Well, I don’t know what else to say. I love you, Lee SeungHyun. I guess I’ll see you on the other side someday. It might take a while though; someone has to keep JiYong out of trouble. Bye, maknae.’
YoungBae let the phone slip out of his hand and drop to the floor, his screen flashing call ended. His throat closed painfully and he fought to keep from sobbing. He picked up his phone and closed it, and noticed the book lying next to it on the floor. The book.
YoungBae picked it up gingerly, tears streaming steadily down his face, and he opened it to page three hundred and seventeen. He put the slip of paper back into its place and was about to close the book when he noticed another slip of paper stuck in between the next two pages. His heart stopped, before picking up at a rapid pace.
He removed the other piece of paper and unfolded it. He recognized the familiar, messy scrawl immediately.
Hey, YoungBae-hyung!
I wonder if you’re ever going to read this. Probably not. You’ve probably forgot all about it, haven’t you? Haha... well, I didn’t, anyway. And on the off-chance you do remember this someday from now, well, you talked about Fate, didn’t you?
Anyway, on that day that I talked to you about finding true love, I think you misunderstood something. You wrote my number on the paper thinking I wanted some random girl to call me and fall in love with me, right? Well, what you didn’t know was that I wasn’t looking for someone like that at all. No, I was looking for you. I wanted you to realize that I’m pretty much desperately in love with you. You probably don’t feel the same way, but if you ever read this, and you feel the same way... I’ll be waiting for that phone call, okay? And don’t make me wait too long!
Love you,
SeungRi
YoungBae was crying freely now. He sobbed openly, clutching the letter to his chest as he screamed against the unfairness of it all. But beneath all the pain and loss, YoungBae felt... well, not happy, but relieved. Free. SeungRi had loved him. He hadn’t realized it, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that YoungBae knew now. Knew they’d loved each other in their own way, all the way until the end. And that was enough.