Hating, Hurting, Regretting...
Title: Not Gonna Get Us
Author: drunkondesire
Rating: PG 15 (Just in case)
Pairings: GRI!
Word Count: 3,872
Genre: Angst, drama, Romance
Summary: When it happened there was nothing but chaos. They weren’t going to get us though, they’d never get us.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Oppas but Panda needs to visit (>.<)
A/N: Gomen! :/ I haven’t had much muse lately with Jiyong-oppa being so cold and with how some of the things in BigBang have changed. I still love my oppas though! This was scrounged up from loads of Gri youtube videos and t.A.T.s’s ‘Not Gonna Get Us’ song. Hope you enjoy it!
I could hear his ragged breath from infront of me as he pulled me along, his other arm over his stomach trying to stop the bleeding as we ran. My mind was still reeling as it tried to catch up with the events of the past couple days. Everything had happened so fast and I felt a sob claw its way out of my throat as I stumbled nearly bringing us both down. He looked back at me, his brown eyes filled with fear and worry but I shook my head so he’d keep running. They couldn’t get us, not after everything. It’d been two days ago when hyung admitted his feelings to me, when we shared a passionate kiss and made love. It was exactly one day ago when Papa YG found out and had been furious. Demanding we stop immediately and put aside the silly notion of loving each other before it ruined our careers. It was exactly 24 hours ago when YG and hyung, Jiyongie, got into a heated argument while I waited in the hall. I vaguely remembered hearing a struggle before everything fell silent. I remember Jiyong stumbling out of YG’s office, his face pale and holding his side while his shirt stained red. It’d been exactly 12 hours ago when Daesung helped them escape, sending them away with enough money while Taeyang and TOP kept YG and the police preoccupied. I still didn’t know what happened in that office or how Jiyong got hurt but I knew his bandages needed to be changed and that he needed rest. “Hyung…hyung you need to rest. Please.”
He glanced behind at me and could see the tears running down my cheeks as I looked at his wound. He attempted to smile reassuringly at me but it ended up as a grimace. The sun was falling as we ran over train tracks and darkness was quickly engulfing us. I could hear he was wheezing a little and my heart jumped into my throat before he found a little shed near the train tracks. We quickly closed the door behind us and he stood unsteadily as he squinted around the darkness. “It looks like a barn…”
I looked around and silently agreed, there were rafters and hay was everywhere as though there used to be horses here. He looked at me once more and this time entwined his fingers with mine as he spoke softly, “Let’s make a promise starting from here on out.”
I watched him closely, studied how pale he was and my heart leaped up but I slowly nodded my head. “Let’s just be honest. No matter what, we’re gonna run and they’re not gonna get us. We’ll stick by each other and never leave the other.”
I closed my eyes at the feel of his hand cradling my cheek, it was so cold and clammy but I cherished. “I promise hyung.”
I looked at him straight in the eyes so he could see my determination. I would do anything for Jiyong, anything. He smiled warmly at me before he said softly, “Soon we’ll be far away and then there will be nothing but laughter and no more intruding voices. Just imagine over all of this we’ll find a home and we can be together without anyone telling us we can’t.”
“I can’t wait, hyung but first I need to check your wound.” He blinked as though just remembering the wound and grimaced. He hesitated but when I said his name firmly he slowly lifted his shirt to show me the bandage. It was soaked in his blood and I slowly unwound it tried to be gentle in the areas where it stuck to his wound. I sucked in a breath at the jagged slice and the stitches that were pulling through the skin no thanks to all the running. I bit my lip to hold back a sob. I dug through our bags and ordered him to lie down on a bed of hay, relieved when he didn’t protest. I grabbed more bandages, a rag and a bottle of water before joining him. I studied the wound before soaking the rag with water and gently cleaning it. I was concentrating so hard I started when Jiyong laid a hand on my leg but he wasn’t looking at me. It was an old habit that gave him comfort. He told me once that I seemed to radiate a comforting heat. “I thought I mattered…I thought he’d be happy for us. Instead he just kept yelling that I was the golden child that his top singer wasn’t going to ruin his career by fraternizing with a guy.”
There was disgust and venom in his voice when he said the last sentence before he continued, hissing lightly when I caught a particularly tender spot. “He was using me. I was just a tool to gain the company more money. He was going towards the door, saying until I made sense that I could just stay there when I threatened to run away with you. All I could think was that you were on the other side of that door and he was going to try and lock me in his office while you were out there helpless.”
I watched as his eyes closed and I knew how much it pained him to remember what happened in that office. “I grabbed him and pulled him away. We struggled for a moment as I tried to get between him and the door…I don’t remember what it was but I remember falling into something made of glass. I remember a burning pain and his shocked face as he looked at me but I just remember wanting to grab you and run.”
I looked down at hyung’s wound and knew that he needed a doctor. He’d never survive if he didn’t see one. I could tell it was getting infected and I was scared for the man I loved. “Jiyong…You need to get to a doctor.”
His brown eyes found mine and he smiled warmly at me, “I’ll be fine after I get some rest. Come maknae, let me use your lap.”
I rolled my eyes and said playfully, “Aissh, I’m not a pillow.”
He laughed and I felt my heart lift before I scooted over, leaning my back against the wall before gently laying his head on my lap. He sighed contently and in no time at all he’d fallen asleep. The smile I’d forced on slowly fell as I stroked his hair, worry was slowly eating me away. Fever would follow that infection if it was allowed to set but me and Jiyong had been in such a hurry that we’d forgotten to pack antiseptics. It’d been a miracle that I had remembered to grab bandages. As my thoughts swirled around in my head, I let darkness claim me and I slipped into a restless sleep.
I woke with a jerk as I heard a loud whistle, I froze and listened carefully before I heard it again followed by…the tracks! I gently shook Jiyong’s shoulder and he swatted at my hand before gasping as the movement irritated his wound. I winced, feeling my hyung’s pain in my heart, before speaking quickly. “There’s a train coming. We can hop on it and hitch a ride.”
His eyes were glazed, a dazed look on his face as he nodded slowly. Fear squeezed my heart but I pushed it aside, later I could panic later. I grabbed our bags and let my fingers wrap around his wrist as I tugged him behind me. This time I would help and guide hyung like he’d done for me so many times. I watched as the train passed before I saw one open cart. We ran alongside it, I threw our backpacks in before pulling Jiyong’s hand so that he could grab the handle. I pushed him up and into the cart but stumbled, I heard him cry out to me before I gained my footing again. His hand was outstretched towards me, fear shining bright in those glazed eyes. Huffing lightly, I grabbed the handle and his hand before heaving myself up and in with his help. We laid there for a while before closing the door to the cart, spaces between the boards let in the rising sun’s rays. Before long we both passed out, exhaustion taking its toll but the last thought that registered in my mind was that Jiyong’s hand had felt like it was on fire.
When I woke again, it was to Jiyong shivering and coughing beside me. Fear coursed through me but I pushed it aside to wrap him up in my arms, his body settled between my legs as I felt him burning up and my worst fear was realized. He had a fever, infection had set in and my hyung needed serious help. I took a deep breath and kept my hold on him as he struggled, a soft whine escaping his lips as he spoke. “It’s too hot, Seungri. Off.”
“I’m sorry, Jiyong but you have a fever. You need to stay warm.” He seemed to understand what that meant because he stayed still, only fidgeting once in a while as I cradled him. His clothes were soaked with sweat but still he shivered as though he was freezing. My hold on him tightened as hours passed and finally the train stopped at a small town. I hesitated before shaking my hyung awake from his restless slumber. He seemed reluctant to leave the safety of the train but I coaxed him out. I entwined my fingers with his as I pulled him along, feeling as the farther we walked the more he leaned against me. I immediately recognized the language in this town was English and for a moment I wondered where we were. Before I could dwell on it, Jiyong sagged against me and fear swallowed me completely when I saw that he was completely unconscious. I simply remember yelling for help but I couldn’t remember if it had been in Korean, English or both. I remember a woman running up to us and calling the ambulance while trying to calm me down. It was a blur of sirens, yells, beeping machines and my pleading words to help him.
when I came to I was lying down on a plush bed and then I realized it was a hospital bed. I sat up to see I had an IV connected to me and a clip on my finger to keep track of my vitals. I looked up when I heard a gasp and the woman I vaguely remember calling an ambulance walked in. “Are you okay?”
I had to think for a moment before the words came to me in English. “Yes, I’m fine…my companion though…”
“He’s in the room next to this one. He hasn’t woken up as of yet but the doctors are working hard to make him better.” She smiled hesitantly just as a doctor stepped in and froze at seeing me awake. He smiled warmly and spoke quickly, “Good. I’m glad that you woke up. You were suffering from exhaustion and lack of nutrition but you should make a full recovery with a bit of rest. What’s your name?”
I hesitated slightly as I tried to decide whether or not I wanted to tell this man my real name but if we were as far from Seoul as I thought we were it should have been fine. “I’m Lee Seunghyun…My companion is Kwon JiYong.”
The doctor nodded his head with a smile and wrote it down on his clip board before he gained a thoughtful look. “Will you two need a translator at all?”
I shook my head fiercely. I wasn’t the best at English but I picked up on things quickly, especially languages plus it was best not to draw too much attention. “How is Jiyong?”
The doctor hesitated before he said, “He has a nasty slash across his side that got infected and the stitches he acquired ripped through his skin a bit but the fever has gone down. He’s still asleep but we’ve cleaned up the wound, re-stitched it and neutralized the infections so…he should make a full recovery in a few days.”
I felt relief flood my body and I sagged into the bed. The woman smiled and patted my hand in a motherly way, the thought made my heart ache at realizing I’d probably never see my mother again. “If you don’t mind me asking but…are you boys in trouble?”
I froze for a moment before looking away and shaking my head. “Nothing serious, our parents didn’t…approve of our relationship so we left.”
It was kind of the truth so I didn’t feel too bad about lying but I noticed the woman stiffen a bit before scowling and for a moment I thought she was disgusted by what I revealed until she said, “The nerve! How could they! You’re both old enough to decide what you want and who you love!!”
I blushed but was pleased by her righteous anger. I liked her immediately but I brushed the thought off when I looked at the doctor. “Jiyong got the wound when he ran to come get me. Can I go see him?”
The doctor seemed to hesitate before nodding his head with a gentle smile. I slowly slipped out the bed and was surprised by how refreshed I felt. I vaguely wondered how long we’d been asleep but pushed the thought aside when a nurse came in and took me off the IV as well as the heart monitor. The doctor led me next door and the woman followed like a worried hen. It vaguely reminded me of Taeyang before I pushed that to the back of my mind too before it caused me pain.
I rushed to Jiyong’s side when we entered and grabbed his hand tightly in mine. Watching as a much healthier glow seemed to come off his skin and he seemed peaceful in his sleep. It felt like a weight was lifted and I breathed easier. At that moment his eyes fluttered open and latched onto mine, he looked at me in wonder for a moment before he said weakly in Korean, “You look like shit, maknae.”
I laughed, the sound came out like a strangled sob though and I laid my head on his chest. He winced but let his free hand run through my short hair. “Aissh, you’re such a babo.”
I sniffled lightly before glaring at him and saying in English, “Shut up, Jiyong. You had a fever and your wound was infected. Be thankful you got to a hospital.”
As though realizing where we were for the first time his eyes wandered around before landing on the doctor a
nd woman. Both of which were smiling gently at us before the doctor stepped forward and spoke up. “Hello Mr. Kwon. Mr. Lee informed me that you’re running away from home because your parents aren’t accepting of your relationship. I’m sure that once you make a full recovery Mrs. Anderson could find you a place to stay.”
I watched as an amused smile flitted across hyung’s lips before he said, “Thank you very much. It’s very kind of you both.”
The woman, Mrs. Anderson, shook her head before speaking, “Nonsense, someone has to watch over this generation. You just work on getting better. We’ll leave you two be.”
With that they both exited the room and left us alone together. My attention was brought back to Jiyong when his, once more, warm hand cradled my cheek and turned it towards him. I sighed into the feel of his soft but chapped lips against my own and I felt the slight upturn of his own lips. “Saranghae, Jiyongie.”
He watched me with such love in his eyes that it nearly brought me to tears when he finally said it back, “Saranghae, Panda.”
I laughed lightly before scooting a chair closer and laying my head close to where our hands laid intertwined. We spoke in hushed whispers, planning all the things we would do once we were out of here and had our own home. Not long, the feel of his long fingers running through my hair put me to sleep.
I woke up with a violent jerk when I felt someone shake me roughly and say my name urgently. I blinked a couple of times before focusing in on Jiyong’s panicked features and instantly I was alert. “What is it?”
“I went to talk to one of the nurses when I noticed them. They’re here!” I could hear the fear in his voice and instantly I was on my feet. I only just noticed he wasn’t in bed or connected to any of the machines but I ignored it while I threw clothes at him. He changed quickly and I pulled him behind me, hearing his soft whimpers. This was taking a toll on my strong hyung and I couldn’t blame him for wanting to be protected instead of the protector. I had made a vow that I’d do anything for Jiyong and I planned to keep it. I peeked out the corridor and saw no one was there so I pulled Jiyong infront of me, keeping my hand in his while I shielded his body with mine from behind while I pushed him along. I stiffened when I heard familiar accented voices asking questions from behind us just before we turned a corner. I turned around and saw two Korean officers holding up a picture of Jiyong to a nurse and asking if they knew what room he was in. Just as she pointed towards their direction, the officer looked and our eyes met. I watched as recognition lit in his eyes and one thought passed through my mind. ‘They only want JiYong…’
I shuddered at the shout that came from the officer’s mouth and ran, pulling Jiyong behind me and I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Jiyong was still weak, he hadn’t fully recovered and his stitches might come out again. However, I just kept thinking as we ran out the hospital and into the nearby woods. ‘They’re not gonna get us.’
We could hear them crashing through the woods behind us, shouting for us to stop and saying it was no use. I could hear Jiyong’s grunts and pants as he grew tired quickly. He wouldn’t make it. They only wanted him. They’re not gonna get us. I skidded to a halt when I saw we’d reached the end. “Seungri…Seungri! What are we going to do!?”
We’d reached a cliff, nothing but rushing water was below and nothing but the woods full of police behind us. I looked back at him, he was scared and clutching his side. I could tell by the sweat and his panting he couldn’t run anymore. My eyes landed on the red that was slowly staining the shirt he wore and I knew he wouldn’t make it. They only wanted my hyun, my Jiyongie. I closed my eyes. I would do anything for Kwon JiYong. Anything that meant he’d survive and be okay. Anything that meant the red that was steadily soaking his shirt would stop and he’d get better. Anything. I opened my eyes and looked into his dark brown eyes just as the first two officers from the hospital broke through the foliage. His eyes were large and round with fear but suddenly knowing what I had to do, I felt peaceful. I cradled his face between my hands and kissed him. Kissed him more passionately and lovingly than I ever had in my life. When I pulled away he looked at me in confusion as I smiled at him and stepped away. “Saranghae, Kwon JiYong. I always will but they only want you.”
His eyes grew wide and he shouted my name as he lunged for me just as I took a step over the cliff. I said only one more word to him before I was freefalling and darkness claimed me. His terrified face and voice etched into my memory forever as the last thing I saw.
~*~
I felt confusion but pleasure at the kiss he blessed me with, as though he was trying to relay something through it. When he pulled away I looked at him, about to ask what he was doing when there were two officers right there. I stopped though when he took a step away from me and spoke. “Saranghae, Kwon JiYong. I always will but they only want you.”
My heart dropped to my stomach and I lunged forward as he took a step back and over the cliff. “SEUNGRI!!!!”
I watched as he fell, a serene smile on his face as his eyes closed while one last word left his lips and his body met water. “SEUNGRI!!!!”
I sat up in bed with a scream, sweat soaking through my clothes as I stared at the wall close to me. There was a soft knock at my door and I looked up to see Daesung enter. He looked like he’d been crying and I knew from the wetness of my face that I surely was. “Hyung…I heard you scream…”
Without a word I opened my arms and he came into the room, folding into my embrace. We cried together, sobs shaking our bodies violently as he remembered the loss of our maknae. He’d been right. They’d only wanted me, only wanted me to be returned safely to YG. When he’d found out what had happened to the youngest member of he’d been stricken but he said it was good that I was still okay. I hiccupped as anger flushed through me at the thought before another thought washed over me. Seungri had known I would have refused to go back to YG if he was still there with me. That I would have insisted to keep running and probably made my wound worse. Everything he did, he did to make sure I’d be okay. When the rest of the group had found out what their maknae had did, they’d taken it hard. Taeyang had taken to working harder while Suenghyun had withdrawn from them but Daesung who had started getting close to the youngest had taken it just as hard as me. He’d broken down crying and hadn’t stopped. I still felt like once in a while I’ll catch a glimpse of him before I have to remind myself that he’s gone.
When we finally stopped crying, Daesung was asleep on my lap and I looked out the window at the moon. I could still feel his kiss on my lips and I could still hear the last word he said to me “Live…” I sniffed as I looked down at Daesung’s sleeping face and quietly said, “Okay, maknae. Okay. I’ll live for both of us. Saranghae, Lee Seunghyun.”
~*~
Kwon JiYong was unaware of the figure that watched from a balcony not too far. A soft smile lit the young man’s features as he said softly, “Thank you, Hyung. We’ll meet again…promise.”
Author: drunkondesire
Rating: PG 15 (Just in case)
Pairings: GRI!
Word Count: 3,872
Genre: Angst, drama, Romance
Summary: When it happened there was nothing but chaos. They weren’t going to get us though, they’d never get us.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Oppas but Panda needs to visit (>.<)
A/N: Gomen! :/ I haven’t had much muse lately with Jiyong-oppa being so cold and with how some of the things in BigBang have changed. I still love my oppas though! This was scrounged up from loads of Gri youtube videos and t.A.T.s’s ‘Not Gonna Get Us’ song. Hope you enjoy it!
I could hear his ragged breath from infront of me as he pulled me along, his other arm over his stomach trying to stop the bleeding as we ran. My mind was still reeling as it tried to catch up with the events of the past couple days. Everything had happened so fast and I felt a sob claw its way out of my throat as I stumbled nearly bringing us both down. He looked back at me, his brown eyes filled with fear and worry but I shook my head so he’d keep running. They couldn’t get us, not after everything. It’d been two days ago when hyung admitted his feelings to me, when we shared a passionate kiss and made love. It was exactly one day ago when Papa YG found out and had been furious. Demanding we stop immediately and put aside the silly notion of loving each other before it ruined our careers. It was exactly 24 hours ago when YG and hyung, Jiyongie, got into a heated argument while I waited in the hall. I vaguely remembered hearing a struggle before everything fell silent. I remember Jiyong stumbling out of YG’s office, his face pale and holding his side while his shirt stained red. It’d been exactly 12 hours ago when Daesung helped them escape, sending them away with enough money while Taeyang and TOP kept YG and the police preoccupied. I still didn’t know what happened in that office or how Jiyong got hurt but I knew his bandages needed to be changed and that he needed rest. “Hyung…hyung you need to rest. Please.”
He glanced behind at me and could see the tears running down my cheeks as I looked at his wound. He attempted to smile reassuringly at me but it ended up as a grimace. The sun was falling as we ran over train tracks and darkness was quickly engulfing us. I could hear he was wheezing a little and my heart jumped into my throat before he found a little shed near the train tracks. We quickly closed the door behind us and he stood unsteadily as he squinted around the darkness. “It looks like a barn…”
I looked around and silently agreed, there were rafters and hay was everywhere as though there used to be horses here. He looked at me once more and this time entwined his fingers with mine as he spoke softly, “Let’s make a promise starting from here on out.”
I watched him closely, studied how pale he was and my heart leaped up but I slowly nodded my head. “Let’s just be honest. No matter what, we’re gonna run and they’re not gonna get us. We’ll stick by each other and never leave the other.”
I closed my eyes at the feel of his hand cradling my cheek, it was so cold and clammy but I cherished. “I promise hyung.”
I looked at him straight in the eyes so he could see my determination. I would do anything for Jiyong, anything. He smiled warmly at me before he said softly, “Soon we’ll be far away and then there will be nothing but laughter and no more intruding voices. Just imagine over all of this we’ll find a home and we can be together without anyone telling us we can’t.”
“I can’t wait, hyung but first I need to check your wound.” He blinked as though just remembering the wound and grimaced. He hesitated but when I said his name firmly he slowly lifted his shirt to show me the bandage. It was soaked in his blood and I slowly unwound it tried to be gentle in the areas where it stuck to his wound. I sucked in a breath at the jagged slice and the stitches that were pulling through the skin no thanks to all the running. I bit my lip to hold back a sob. I dug through our bags and ordered him to lie down on a bed of hay, relieved when he didn’t protest. I grabbed more bandages, a rag and a bottle of water before joining him. I studied the wound before soaking the rag with water and gently cleaning it. I was concentrating so hard I started when Jiyong laid a hand on my leg but he wasn’t looking at me. It was an old habit that gave him comfort. He told me once that I seemed to radiate a comforting heat. “I thought I mattered…I thought he’d be happy for us. Instead he just kept yelling that I was the golden child that his top singer wasn’t going to ruin his career by fraternizing with a guy.”
There was disgust and venom in his voice when he said the last sentence before he continued, hissing lightly when I caught a particularly tender spot. “He was using me. I was just a tool to gain the company more money. He was going towards the door, saying until I made sense that I could just stay there when I threatened to run away with you. All I could think was that you were on the other side of that door and he was going to try and lock me in his office while you were out there helpless.”
I watched as his eyes closed and I knew how much it pained him to remember what happened in that office. “I grabbed him and pulled him away. We struggled for a moment as I tried to get between him and the door…I don’t remember what it was but I remember falling into something made of glass. I remember a burning pain and his shocked face as he looked at me but I just remember wanting to grab you and run.”
I looked down at hyung’s wound and knew that he needed a doctor. He’d never survive if he didn’t see one. I could tell it was getting infected and I was scared for the man I loved. “Jiyong…You need to get to a doctor.”
His brown eyes found mine and he smiled warmly at me, “I’ll be fine after I get some rest. Come maknae, let me use your lap.”
I rolled my eyes and said playfully, “Aissh, I’m not a pillow.”
He laughed and I felt my heart lift before I scooted over, leaning my back against the wall before gently laying his head on my lap. He sighed contently and in no time at all he’d fallen asleep. The smile I’d forced on slowly fell as I stroked his hair, worry was slowly eating me away. Fever would follow that infection if it was allowed to set but me and Jiyong had been in such a hurry that we’d forgotten to pack antiseptics. It’d been a miracle that I had remembered to grab bandages. As my thoughts swirled around in my head, I let darkness claim me and I slipped into a restless sleep.
I woke with a jerk as I heard a loud whistle, I froze and listened carefully before I heard it again followed by…the tracks! I gently shook Jiyong’s shoulder and he swatted at my hand before gasping as the movement irritated his wound. I winced, feeling my hyung’s pain in my heart, before speaking quickly. “There’s a train coming. We can hop on it and hitch a ride.”
His eyes were glazed, a dazed look on his face as he nodded slowly. Fear squeezed my heart but I pushed it aside, later I could panic later. I grabbed our bags and let my fingers wrap around his wrist as I tugged him behind me. This time I would help and guide hyung like he’d done for me so many times. I watched as the train passed before I saw one open cart. We ran alongside it, I threw our backpacks in before pulling Jiyong’s hand so that he could grab the handle. I pushed him up and into the cart but stumbled, I heard him cry out to me before I gained my footing again. His hand was outstretched towards me, fear shining bright in those glazed eyes. Huffing lightly, I grabbed the handle and his hand before heaving myself up and in with his help. We laid there for a while before closing the door to the cart, spaces between the boards let in the rising sun’s rays. Before long we both passed out, exhaustion taking its toll but the last thought that registered in my mind was that Jiyong’s hand had felt like it was on fire.
When I woke again, it was to Jiyong shivering and coughing beside me. Fear coursed through me but I pushed it aside to wrap him up in my arms, his body settled between my legs as I felt him burning up and my worst fear was realized. He had a fever, infection had set in and my hyung needed serious help. I took a deep breath and kept my hold on him as he struggled, a soft whine escaping his lips as he spoke. “It’s too hot, Seungri. Off.”
“I’m sorry, Jiyong but you have a fever. You need to stay warm.” He seemed to understand what that meant because he stayed still, only fidgeting once in a while as I cradled him. His clothes were soaked with sweat but still he shivered as though he was freezing. My hold on him tightened as hours passed and finally the train stopped at a small town. I hesitated before shaking my hyung awake from his restless slumber. He seemed reluctant to leave the safety of the train but I coaxed him out. I entwined my fingers with his as I pulled him along, feeling as the farther we walked the more he leaned against me. I immediately recognized the language in this town was English and for a moment I wondered where we were. Before I could dwell on it, Jiyong sagged against me and fear swallowed me completely when I saw that he was completely unconscious. I simply remember yelling for help but I couldn’t remember if it had been in Korean, English or both. I remember a woman running up to us and calling the ambulance while trying to calm me down. It was a blur of sirens, yells, beeping machines and my pleading words to help him.
when I came to I was lying down on a plush bed and then I realized it was a hospital bed. I sat up to see I had an IV connected to me and a clip on my finger to keep track of my vitals. I looked up when I heard a gasp and the woman I vaguely remember calling an ambulance walked in. “Are you okay?”
I had to think for a moment before the words came to me in English. “Yes, I’m fine…my companion though…”
“He’s in the room next to this one. He hasn’t woken up as of yet but the doctors are working hard to make him better.” She smiled hesitantly just as a doctor stepped in and froze at seeing me awake. He smiled warmly and spoke quickly, “Good. I’m glad that you woke up. You were suffering from exhaustion and lack of nutrition but you should make a full recovery with a bit of rest. What’s your name?”
I hesitated slightly as I tried to decide whether or not I wanted to tell this man my real name but if we were as far from Seoul as I thought we were it should have been fine. “I’m Lee Seunghyun…My companion is Kwon JiYong.”
The doctor nodded his head with a smile and wrote it down on his clip board before he gained a thoughtful look. “Will you two need a translator at all?”
I shook my head fiercely. I wasn’t the best at English but I picked up on things quickly, especially languages plus it was best not to draw too much attention. “How is Jiyong?”
The doctor hesitated before he said, “He has a nasty slash across his side that got infected and the stitches he acquired ripped through his skin a bit but the fever has gone down. He’s still asleep but we’ve cleaned up the wound, re-stitched it and neutralized the infections so…he should make a full recovery in a few days.”
I felt relief flood my body and I sagged into the bed. The woman smiled and patted my hand in a motherly way, the thought made my heart ache at realizing I’d probably never see my mother again. “If you don’t mind me asking but…are you boys in trouble?”
I froze for a moment before looking away and shaking my head. “Nothing serious, our parents didn’t…approve of our relationship so we left.”
It was kind of the truth so I didn’t feel too bad about lying but I noticed the woman stiffen a bit before scowling and for a moment I thought she was disgusted by what I revealed until she said, “The nerve! How could they! You’re both old enough to decide what you want and who you love!!”
I blushed but was pleased by her righteous anger. I liked her immediately but I brushed the thought off when I looked at the doctor. “Jiyong got the wound when he ran to come get me. Can I go see him?”
The doctor seemed to hesitate before nodding his head with a gentle smile. I slowly slipped out the bed and was surprised by how refreshed I felt. I vaguely wondered how long we’d been asleep but pushed the thought aside when a nurse came in and took me off the IV as well as the heart monitor. The doctor led me next door and the woman followed like a worried hen. It vaguely reminded me of Taeyang before I pushed that to the back of my mind too before it caused me pain.
I rushed to Jiyong’s side when we entered and grabbed his hand tightly in mine. Watching as a much healthier glow seemed to come off his skin and he seemed peaceful in his sleep. It felt like a weight was lifted and I breathed easier. At that moment his eyes fluttered open and latched onto mine, he looked at me in wonder for a moment before he said weakly in Korean, “You look like shit, maknae.”
I laughed, the sound came out like a strangled sob though and I laid my head on his chest. He winced but let his free hand run through my short hair. “Aissh, you’re such a babo.”
I sniffled lightly before glaring at him and saying in English, “Shut up, Jiyong. You had a fever and your wound was infected. Be thankful you got to a hospital.”
As though realizing where we were for the first time his eyes wandered around before landing on the doctor a
nd woman. Both of which were smiling gently at us before the doctor stepped forward and spoke up. “Hello Mr. Kwon. Mr. Lee informed me that you’re running away from home because your parents aren’t accepting of your relationship. I’m sure that once you make a full recovery Mrs. Anderson could find you a place to stay.”
I watched as an amused smile flitted across hyung’s lips before he said, “Thank you very much. It’s very kind of you both.”
The woman, Mrs. Anderson, shook her head before speaking, “Nonsense, someone has to watch over this generation. You just work on getting better. We’ll leave you two be.”
With that they both exited the room and left us alone together. My attention was brought back to Jiyong when his, once more, warm hand cradled my cheek and turned it towards him. I sighed into the feel of his soft but chapped lips against my own and I felt the slight upturn of his own lips. “Saranghae, Jiyongie.”
He watched me with such love in his eyes that it nearly brought me to tears when he finally said it back, “Saranghae, Panda.”
I laughed lightly before scooting a chair closer and laying my head close to where our hands laid intertwined. We spoke in hushed whispers, planning all the things we would do once we were out of here and had our own home. Not long, the feel of his long fingers running through my hair put me to sleep.
I woke up with a violent jerk when I felt someone shake me roughly and say my name urgently. I blinked a couple of times before focusing in on Jiyong’s panicked features and instantly I was alert. “What is it?”
“I went to talk to one of the nurses when I noticed them. They’re here!” I could hear the fear in his voice and instantly I was on my feet. I only just noticed he wasn’t in bed or connected to any of the machines but I ignored it while I threw clothes at him. He changed quickly and I pulled him behind me, hearing his soft whimpers. This was taking a toll on my strong hyung and I couldn’t blame him for wanting to be protected instead of the protector. I had made a vow that I’d do anything for Jiyong and I planned to keep it. I peeked out the corridor and saw no one was there so I pulled Jiyong infront of me, keeping my hand in his while I shielded his body with mine from behind while I pushed him along. I stiffened when I heard familiar accented voices asking questions from behind us just before we turned a corner. I turned around and saw two Korean officers holding up a picture of Jiyong to a nurse and asking if they knew what room he was in. Just as she pointed towards their direction, the officer looked and our eyes met. I watched as recognition lit in his eyes and one thought passed through my mind. ‘They only want JiYong…’
I shuddered at the shout that came from the officer’s mouth and ran, pulling Jiyong behind me and I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Jiyong was still weak, he hadn’t fully recovered and his stitches might come out again. However, I just kept thinking as we ran out the hospital and into the nearby woods. ‘They’re not gonna get us.’
We could hear them crashing through the woods behind us, shouting for us to stop and saying it was no use. I could hear Jiyong’s grunts and pants as he grew tired quickly. He wouldn’t make it. They only wanted him. They’re not gonna get us. I skidded to a halt when I saw we’d reached the end. “Seungri…Seungri! What are we going to do!?”
We’d reached a cliff, nothing but rushing water was below and nothing but the woods full of police behind us. I looked back at him, he was scared and clutching his side. I could tell by the sweat and his panting he couldn’t run anymore. My eyes landed on the red that was slowly staining the shirt he wore and I knew he wouldn’t make it. They only wanted my hyun, my Jiyongie. I closed my eyes. I would do anything for Kwon JiYong. Anything that meant he’d survive and be okay. Anything that meant the red that was steadily soaking his shirt would stop and he’d get better. Anything. I opened my eyes and looked into his dark brown eyes just as the first two officers from the hospital broke through the foliage. His eyes were large and round with fear but suddenly knowing what I had to do, I felt peaceful. I cradled his face between my hands and kissed him. Kissed him more passionately and lovingly than I ever had in my life. When I pulled away he looked at me in confusion as I smiled at him and stepped away. “Saranghae, Kwon JiYong. I always will but they only want you.”
His eyes grew wide and he shouted my name as he lunged for me just as I took a step over the cliff. I said only one more word to him before I was freefalling and darkness claimed me. His terrified face and voice etched into my memory forever as the last thing I saw.
~*~
I felt confusion but pleasure at the kiss he blessed me with, as though he was trying to relay something through it. When he pulled away I looked at him, about to ask what he was doing when there were two officers right there. I stopped though when he took a step away from me and spoke. “Saranghae, Kwon JiYong. I always will but they only want you.”
My heart dropped to my stomach and I lunged forward as he took a step back and over the cliff. “SEUNGRI!!!!”
I watched as he fell, a serene smile on his face as his eyes closed while one last word left his lips and his body met water. “SEUNGRI!!!!”
I sat up in bed with a scream, sweat soaking through my clothes as I stared at the wall close to me. There was a soft knock at my door and I looked up to see Daesung enter. He looked like he’d been crying and I knew from the wetness of my face that I surely was. “Hyung…I heard you scream…”
Without a word I opened my arms and he came into the room, folding into my embrace. We cried together, sobs shaking our bodies violently as he remembered the loss of our maknae. He’d been right. They’d only wanted me, only wanted me to be returned safely to YG. When he’d found out what had happened to the youngest member of he’d been stricken but he said it was good that I was still okay. I hiccupped as anger flushed through me at the thought before another thought washed over me. Seungri had known I would have refused to go back to YG if he was still there with me. That I would have insisted to keep running and probably made my wound worse. Everything he did, he did to make sure I’d be okay. When the rest of the group had found out what their maknae had did, they’d taken it hard. Taeyang had taken to working harder while Suenghyun had withdrawn from them but Daesung who had started getting close to the youngest had taken it just as hard as me. He’d broken down crying and hadn’t stopped. I still felt like once in a while I’ll catch a glimpse of him before I have to remind myself that he’s gone.
When we finally stopped crying, Daesung was asleep on my lap and I looked out the window at the moon. I could still feel his kiss on my lips and I could still hear the last word he said to me “Live…” I sniffed as I looked down at Daesung’s sleeping face and quietly said, “Okay, maknae. Okay. I’ll live for both of us. Saranghae, Lee Seunghyun.”
~*~
Kwon JiYong was unaware of the figure that watched from a balcony not too far. A soft smile lit the young man’s features as he said softly, “Thank you, Hyung. We’ll meet again…promise.”