Letting Go (9/?)
Title: Letting Go (9/?)
Author:
vvipforseungri
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: G-Ri
Word Count: 1136
Genre: Angst, Drama
Summary: The damage is done, but Jiyong doesn't want to understand, he wants to forget.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, no matter how hard I try.
AN: So, I don't when the next update will be, but hopefully soon. I wanna get this finished! If I do ever finish this, I'm going to work on HIWTHI next, since it's almost done. But as for this MWAHAHAHA. Who's side are you on now? What will happen next? Let's just say, I'm not a fluffy person...
Chapter 1 | Chapter 8
“The beginning?” JiYong repeated angrily, clearly lost. SeungRi’s sudden surrender had only served to enrage him further. How dare SeungRi come to him, spouting accusations that hit home so deeply that JiYong felt like all reasoning had been knocked out of him and been replaced by a cold fury. Weeks, weeks, JiYong had suffered by himself, feeling the sharp burn of rejection every time he looked at SeungRi. And SeungRi was acting like he was the victim? When SeungRi had lied and lied for years?
“I’ve loved you from the beginning, the very beginning! Since the day we debuted, it’s always been you I looked after, you I cared for, you I doted on! It’s always been you! How dare you accuse me of hurting you?!” JiYong spit out, his mind swollen with an all-consuming rage. “That’s something I should be asking you, you filthy hypocrite!”
JiYong watched as the last of SeungRi’s fight left his eyes completely, and a sort of strange horror crossed SeungRi’s face. “You don’t remember?” SeungRi whispered bleakly, his eyes boring into JiYong’s as if they were searching-searching for some sign of recognition. A small laugh that sounded more like a sigh left his mouth as he closed his eyes gently, “You don’t remember,” he repeated.
The last of JiYong’s patience flew out the window as JiYong suddenly seized SeungRi by the fronts of his shirt and threw him bodily against the brick wall of the building, slipping slightly on the rain still falling furiously. “Remember what, SeungRi?! Tell me! Don’t play anymore fucking games with me!” shrieked JiYong madly, eyes popping as he gripped SeungRi roughly from the front, shaking him. SeungRi’s eyes snapped open at the impact with the wall, his eyes black with rage. He didn’t fight against JiYong.
“I hate you,” he snarled quietly, though JiYong caught every word like it was a blow to his stomach. “I’ve always hated you. From the very beginning. But you wouldn’t know that because you don’t fucking remember, you don’t remember the time where I meant less than nothing to you. All these years, and you’ve never once noticed that I looked at you with disgust and-” SeungRi was cut off with a stinging blow to his jaw as JiYong’s fist snapped forward and made contact.
“SHUT UP!” screamed JiYong dementedly, “Shut up! Shutupshutupshutup! Don’t you dare say another word-”
“Or what, you’ll hurt me?!” yelled SeungRi right back, thrashing against JiYong’s hold. “News flash, JiYong, you already have!” SeungRi felt himself losing contact with the wall as JiYong pulled him away and threw him so that SeungRi sprawled to the ground. He felt JiYong immediately climb on top of his chest, cutting off his airways painfully, his fist raised in warning. Lightning flashed from above, highlighting JiYong’s crazed face, but SeungRi only sneered, “Go on, then. Hit me. Hit me, you worthless fuck-”
JiYong’s fist collided with SeungRi’s face and SeungRi felt a wave of pain run through him. But this time, JiYong didn’t stop at one; again and again, his fists rained blow after blow directly to SeungRi’s face, screaming incomprehensibly. Pain soon gave way to numb shock as he felt his nose crack beneath JiYong’s knuckles before his head was snapped to the side from the force of another blow. The searing pain came back quickly, except multiplied twenty times. The pressure building in his head slowly came to a boiling point as SeungRi struggled futilely under JiYong. He could feel rain running down his face-or perhaps it was blood, SeungRi could no longer tell-choking him. SeungRi felt his head being pulled upwards by his hair and slammed back down against the concrete, the force of it blinded SeungRi in a wave of agony swept through him.
---
I looked up against my assailant and found I could no longer recognize the man I had once respected… loved. JiYong’s face loomed above me, twisted in a blind rage that made him ugly. I saw his fist come down yet again and felt my heart break in sorrow before I whispered just one word.
“Hyung.”
---
JiYong froze. He almost hadn’t heard it. But he had.
“Hyung,” SeungRi had said in the most broken of voices JiYong had ever heard. It had been enough to snap him out of the all-consuming bloodlust that had taken over him as SeungRi had uttered the very words JiYong had feared he would say; “I hate you.”
JiYong blinked once, twice, slowly. He looked at his raised fist in confusion, his mind desperately throwing up walls of denial, refusing to let anything sink in. JiYong looked down from his fist in disconnected loss and SeungRi lying beneath him, motionless save for the very slight movement of his chest that indicated that he was still breathing. For a moment, JiYong didn’t understand the sight before him, the blood that seeped from SeungRi’s torn and cut face, and the way his nose was bent at a strange angle, illuminated only by the random flashes of lightning, blurred by the rain that fell in torrents. JiYong slowly lowered his hand to touch SeungRi, but stilled at the sight of his hand-marred by blood and as torn as SeungRi’s face. The idea that perhaps it was SeungRi’s blood on his hand passed through him and JiYong felt his body begin to shake as he connected two and two together.
Loud gasping breaths escaped JiYong’s mouth, his body convulsing so badly he could no longer see clearly. “SeungRi,” he whispered, his voice tinged with horror and revulsion. SeungRi didn’t respond. JiYong threw himself off the body-no longer SeungRi-and he felt the metal bars of the railing behind him as he stared at the body, eyes wide and unblinking. He felt his body rocking back and forth as he heard a strange keening. He realized that it was himself, sobs ripping from his throat as he pressed his hand to his mouth to keep from screaming.
JiYong slowly felt himself becoming more and more hysterical-everything had suddenly taken on a strange, dreamlike quality. He wrenched his eyes away from the broken body and searched desperately for the door. JiYong threw himself forwards, scrabbling for the door on his knees. He blinked against the bright light of the apartment, dimly aware of the filth he had dragged inside. His eyes locked with the front door and he felt a scream building up in his throat. Suddenly, the need for that one substance he knew guaranteed oblivion consumed him. He dragged himself through the door and somehow managed to make it to the closest bar he could find.
Never mind that patrons screamed at the sight of him, all he could think of was alcohol and the promise of forgetting.
Chapter 10
Author:
vvipforseungri
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: G-Ri
Word Count: 1136
Genre: Angst, Drama
Summary: The damage is done, but Jiyong doesn't want to understand, he wants to forget.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, no matter how hard I try.
AN: So, I don't when the next update will be, but hopefully soon. I wanna get this finished! If I do ever finish this, I'm going to work on HIWTHI next, since it's almost done. But as for this MWAHAHAHA. Who's side are you on now? What will happen next? Let's just say, I'm not a fluffy person...
Chapter 1 | Chapter 8
“The beginning?” JiYong repeated angrily, clearly lost. SeungRi’s sudden surrender had only served to enrage him further. How dare SeungRi come to him, spouting accusations that hit home so deeply that JiYong felt like all reasoning had been knocked out of him and been replaced by a cold fury. Weeks, weeks, JiYong had suffered by himself, feeling the sharp burn of rejection every time he looked at SeungRi. And SeungRi was acting like he was the victim? When SeungRi had lied and lied for years?
“I’ve loved you from the beginning, the very beginning! Since the day we debuted, it’s always been you I looked after, you I cared for, you I doted on! It’s always been you! How dare you accuse me of hurting you?!” JiYong spit out, his mind swollen with an all-consuming rage. “That’s something I should be asking you, you filthy hypocrite!”
JiYong watched as the last of SeungRi’s fight left his eyes completely, and a sort of strange horror crossed SeungRi’s face. “You don’t remember?” SeungRi whispered bleakly, his eyes boring into JiYong’s as if they were searching-searching for some sign of recognition. A small laugh that sounded more like a sigh left his mouth as he closed his eyes gently, “You don’t remember,” he repeated.
The last of JiYong’s patience flew out the window as JiYong suddenly seized SeungRi by the fronts of his shirt and threw him bodily against the brick wall of the building, slipping slightly on the rain still falling furiously. “Remember what, SeungRi?! Tell me! Don’t play anymore fucking games with me!” shrieked JiYong madly, eyes popping as he gripped SeungRi roughly from the front, shaking him. SeungRi’s eyes snapped open at the impact with the wall, his eyes black with rage. He didn’t fight against JiYong.
“I hate you,” he snarled quietly, though JiYong caught every word like it was a blow to his stomach. “I’ve always hated you. From the very beginning. But you wouldn’t know that because you don’t fucking remember, you don’t remember the time where I meant less than nothing to you. All these years, and you’ve never once noticed that I looked at you with disgust and-” SeungRi was cut off with a stinging blow to his jaw as JiYong’s fist snapped forward and made contact.
“SHUT UP!” screamed JiYong dementedly, “Shut up! Shutupshutupshutup! Don’t you dare say another word-”
“Or what, you’ll hurt me?!” yelled SeungRi right back, thrashing against JiYong’s hold. “News flash, JiYong, you already have!” SeungRi felt himself losing contact with the wall as JiYong pulled him away and threw him so that SeungRi sprawled to the ground. He felt JiYong immediately climb on top of his chest, cutting off his airways painfully, his fist raised in warning. Lightning flashed from above, highlighting JiYong’s crazed face, but SeungRi only sneered, “Go on, then. Hit me. Hit me, you worthless fuck-”
JiYong’s fist collided with SeungRi’s face and SeungRi felt a wave of pain run through him. But this time, JiYong didn’t stop at one; again and again, his fists rained blow after blow directly to SeungRi’s face, screaming incomprehensibly. Pain soon gave way to numb shock as he felt his nose crack beneath JiYong’s knuckles before his head was snapped to the side from the force of another blow. The searing pain came back quickly, except multiplied twenty times. The pressure building in his head slowly came to a boiling point as SeungRi struggled futilely under JiYong. He could feel rain running down his face-or perhaps it was blood, SeungRi could no longer tell-choking him. SeungRi felt his head being pulled upwards by his hair and slammed back down against the concrete, the force of it blinded SeungRi in a wave of agony swept through him.
---
I looked up against my assailant and found I could no longer recognize the man I had once respected… loved. JiYong’s face loomed above me, twisted in a blind rage that made him ugly. I saw his fist come down yet again and felt my heart break in sorrow before I whispered just one word.
“Hyung.”
---
JiYong froze. He almost hadn’t heard it. But he had.
“Hyung,” SeungRi had said in the most broken of voices JiYong had ever heard. It had been enough to snap him out of the all-consuming bloodlust that had taken over him as SeungRi had uttered the very words JiYong had feared he would say; “I hate you.”
JiYong blinked once, twice, slowly. He looked at his raised fist in confusion, his mind desperately throwing up walls of denial, refusing to let anything sink in. JiYong looked down from his fist in disconnected loss and SeungRi lying beneath him, motionless save for the very slight movement of his chest that indicated that he was still breathing. For a moment, JiYong didn’t understand the sight before him, the blood that seeped from SeungRi’s torn and cut face, and the way his nose was bent at a strange angle, illuminated only by the random flashes of lightning, blurred by the rain that fell in torrents. JiYong slowly lowered his hand to touch SeungRi, but stilled at the sight of his hand-marred by blood and as torn as SeungRi’s face. The idea that perhaps it was SeungRi’s blood on his hand passed through him and JiYong felt his body begin to shake as he connected two and two together.
Loud gasping breaths escaped JiYong’s mouth, his body convulsing so badly he could no longer see clearly. “SeungRi,” he whispered, his voice tinged with horror and revulsion. SeungRi didn’t respond. JiYong threw himself off the body-no longer SeungRi-and he felt the metal bars of the railing behind him as he stared at the body, eyes wide and unblinking. He felt his body rocking back and forth as he heard a strange keening. He realized that it was himself, sobs ripping from his throat as he pressed his hand to his mouth to keep from screaming.
JiYong slowly felt himself becoming more and more hysterical-everything had suddenly taken on a strange, dreamlike quality. He wrenched his eyes away from the broken body and searched desperately for the door. JiYong threw himself forwards, scrabbling for the door on his knees. He blinked against the bright light of the apartment, dimly aware of the filth he had dragged inside. His eyes locked with the front door and he felt a scream building up in his throat. Suddenly, the need for that one substance he knew guaranteed oblivion consumed him. He dragged himself through the door and somehow managed to make it to the closest bar he could find.
Never mind that patrons screamed at the sight of him, all he could think of was alcohol and the promise of forgetting.
Chapter 10