When I thought of Mr. Wonka fighting with something like this, I connected it with him not really understanding what he is doing.
The teeth thing is funny, you know.. I had bulimia problems for a year (damn, I feel horribly when I admit it, but I feel like on here, I can). My teeth are fine, my dentist always tells me in what a lovely and perfect coniditon they are. I probably think that how bulimia affects your teeth depends on 'how' you 'do' 'it' (I hate going into detail), how often and over what a time period.
I was drifting between bulimic excesses over days, then eating nothing for a couple of days. The results where fainting and general weekness, drawing back from everything, sleeping too much and so many more..
Actually I am thinking about talking to a doctor next week.. but I am fucking nervous because I don't know if I should. I am afraid that somehow the fmaily I live with might find out. They'd chop my head off if they knew someone who still battles with eating disorders looks after their child....
I'll probably let this fick idea rest - or write it anyway and let it sleep on my laptop. It might help me.
Admitting to yourself that you have a problem is the first step in dealing with it. You may seek professional help, but that person is not allowed to tell ANYONE about the problem. I was always able to deal with my problems better without people, but I don't recommend that - it's a rough road.
I find that serious issues of torturing one's self are deeply embedded into the psyche and therefore take a while to completely eliminate from the system. It takes ongoing courage. You may a long while without doing it, then do it again. You feel awful and are tempted to fall into bad habits again. Don't. You just fell off, it's no big deal. You start again and usually you will go longer before you fall off again (assuming you do). The key is to discover what is triggering your response, your negative punishing behaviour and replace it with POSITIVE ones. For example, the beautiful growth of that child is something to focus on. Writing is something to focus on. If you want to work out/expose it there, fine. The hardest thing is to LIKE yourself, but once you accept/love yourself, the other pieces will fall into place. What is also wonderful is that YOU are the one who can fix yourself - you already have all the answers inside of yourself, you just need the courage to face them.
The family would probably be upset, but do not use that as a reason to panic, simply view it as encouragement not to repeat the behavior. After all, it does not lead to success now, does it?
Thank you for the pep talk. I am seeing a doctor today (or at least make an appointment, depending on how busy they are today). I defenitely need some help. I've been fixing my problems myself usually, but this seems to much of a big issue to master myself. Bulimia is a discipline and creativity killer all together, and I won't keep on doing this just for the sake of maintaining a low weight. I hate being afraid of food. I want to get out of this dark pit so I can happily be myself again... people like you help me.. really.
When I thought of Mr. Wonka fighting with something like this, I connected it with him not really understanding what he is doing.
The teeth thing is funny, you know.. I had bulimia problems for a year (damn, I feel horribly when I admit it, but I feel like on here, I can). My teeth are fine, my dentist always tells me in what a lovely and perfect coniditon they are. I probably think that how bulimia affects your teeth depends on 'how' you 'do' 'it' (I hate going into detail), how often and over what a time period.
I was drifting between bulimic excesses over days, then eating nothing for a couple of days. The results where fainting and general weekness, drawing back from everything, sleeping too much and so many more..
Actually I am thinking about talking to a doctor next week.. but I am fucking nervous because I don't know if I should. I am afraid that somehow the fmaily I live with might find out. They'd chop my head off if they knew someone who still battles with eating disorders looks after their child....
I'll probably let this fick idea rest - or write it anyway and let it sleep on my laptop. It might help me.
Reply
I find that serious issues of torturing one's self are deeply embedded into the psyche and therefore take a while to completely eliminate from the system. It takes ongoing courage. You may a long while without doing it, then do it again. You feel awful and are tempted to fall into bad habits again. Don't. You just fell off, it's no big deal. You start again and usually you will go longer before you fall off again (assuming you do). The key is to discover what is triggering your response, your negative punishing behaviour and replace it with POSITIVE ones. For example, the beautiful growth of that child is something to focus on. Writing is something to focus on. If you want to work out/expose it there, fine. The hardest thing is to LIKE yourself, but once you accept/love yourself, the other pieces will fall into place. What is also wonderful is that YOU are the one who can fix yourself - you already have all the answers inside of yourself, you just need the courage to face them.
The family would probably be upset, but do not use that as a reason to panic, simply view it as encouragement not to repeat the behavior. After all, it does not lead to success now, does it?
Reply
I am seeing a doctor today (or at least make an appointment, depending on how busy they are today). I defenitely need some help. I've been fixing my problems myself usually, but this seems to much of a big issue to master myself. Bulimia is a discipline and creativity killer all together, and I won't keep on doing this just for the sake of maintaining a low weight. I hate being afraid of food. I want to get out of this dark pit so I can happily be myself again... people like you help me.. really.
Reply
Leave a comment