Title: Accidentally In Love
Author: Caroline
Spoilers: through season four
Email: carolinecrane at yahoo.com
Accidentally In Love: On Why I Slash Nick and Greg
I'm a rareslash writer. For nearly as long as I've been in fandom, that's how I've defined myself. So about a year and a half ago, when a friend mentioned a really slashy pairing on That Crime Show My Mom Loves, I laughed it off. Because I didn't do mainstream fandoms, and I certainly didn't write crimeslash.
So I went back to my rare fandoms and I told myself I didn't need another pairing, and certainly not a network TV pairing. Then one Thursday during rerun season, I happened to catch an episode of CSI. I'd seen the show once or twice, but I'd never really paid any attention before, so I didn't expect to be swayed by this pairing my friend claimed was so fantastic and so completely underappreciated in fandom.
As luck would have it, the episode I caught was "Chasing the Bus" (2.18).
To this day that episode (for all it's been overplayed) remains a sentimental favorite for me, not just because it's the episode that really made me fall in love with CSI, but because it's the episode that showed me just what Nick and Greg could be. Maybe because the first time I saw them interact they were out of the lab, I saw more than just the caricature of 'Greg the Lab Rat', as he's so often painted in fandom. Or maybe it was just the amazing chemistry between the actors, the way they communicated so well with looks and body language. Or it could have been the way Nick took care of Greg, the way he encouraged him in the field regardless of the fact that Greg shouldn't have been out there in the first place.
Regardless of the reason, after that I was hooked. But I still didn't want to write them, because I already had about eight active fandoms and a ton of unfinished projects and I was in the middle of helping to plan and put together my sister's wedding, and the last thing I needed was another distraction. I didn't have time to learn a new pairing, and I'd already missed the first three seasons of the show, so it was pointless to try and get caught up.
I'd heard all the stories about the miserable lack of Nick/Greg fic on the internet, I'd seen the barely legible websites and while I didn't get the complete lack of Nick/Greg representation in a fandom as large as CSI, it just wasn't rare enough for me. Because they were grossly underrepresented as a pairing, sure, but they were still part of a huge, sprawling fandom.
Still, though, I caught old episodes of the show, and I started to read what little was out there in fandom, and I found myself thinking about their friendship. Before I could stop myself I had a timeline for their relationship in my head, complete with what little canon details I knew. I was thinking about what made them tick as characters, and just why they'd be so good together. But I still wasn't writing them.
At the time I was about to move from Washington D.C. to Colorado, and in between my sister's wedding plans I was trying to cram in the last of the touristy things you never get around to when you live in a tourist destination. So I was on my way to the Holocaust Museum, of all places, when out of nowhere, Nick and Greg started having a conversation in my head. It's really rare for me to start with dialogue and fill in around it, but that's exactly what they were giving me, so I wrote the entire conversation from start to finish in my notebook (never leave home without it) while my mom drove us downtown. And when I got home later that day, I fleshed out the details and my first CSI fic was born.
Since then I've written seventy-one (!) Nick/Greg fics, registered my first ever fannish domain (nickandgreg.com), and built an archive for what's probably the most obvious, and yet most underrepresented slash pairing in CSI fandom.
That's how I found myself at the center of the Nick/Greg contingent. Why I fell so hard for them is a little harder to define, but what it always comes down to is the characters and the way they work together. They're both science geeks, both think they're probably a little cooler than they are, both athletic and both of them are a long way from home. But even though they have the same frame of reference for a lot of things, they're completely different, and that's what makes them work so well.
Greg's loud and sort of brash, flirtatious and smart and he makes sure everyone knows exactly how smart he is. But he collects coins, too, and he has a strong relationship with his family even though they're back in California. He wants everyone to believe he's self-confident and fearless, but under all that he wants so badly to belong to the group, and there's a quietness about him that's really charming and very often overlooked.
Nick, meanwhile, is straight-laced and by-the-book, the naïve Texan who comes from a large, well-off family and probably spent most of his life fairly sheltered. It's easy when taking his character at face value to assume that he's kind of boring, a sometimes painfully vanilla pretty face who always wants to do the right thing and doesn't know how to have a good time. But Nick's a survivor of child sexual abuse (at the hands of a babysitter; "Overload", 2.03), and knowing that about him explains a lot about the reasons he's so eager to please and so reluctant to rock the boat.
Enter Greg, who rocks the boat just to watch the waves get higher. He's the kind of guy that would terrify Nick on a lot of levels, but once Nick gives in Greg's the best thing that could happen to him. He doesn't mean to fall in love with Greg; it just happens, and there's nothing either of them can do about it but go along for the ride.
Nick's got an enormous hero complex which drives him to try to save people who often don't want saving. It causes him to choose a lot of the wrong relationships, it probably drove him into law enforcement in the first place, it informs a lot of areas of his life (and is one of the things people [often unfairly] hate about him in canon). But with Greg there's no saving to do, because Greg can take care of himself. And while that's frustrating for Nick on a lot of levels, in the end it's good for him, because it forces him to see what a balanced relationship looks like.
They're very obviously friends onscreen, and while a lot of the CSIs tend to treat Greg like the annoying kid brother, Nick's generally the one who indulges him. There are so many little examples of this - possibly as many as there are little touches between the characters. Nick spends a lot of time with
his hands on various parts of Greg's body, then there are
the looks that pass between them and the way they seem so comfortable in one another's presence.
The evolution of their relationship is even more obvious in retrospect; in season one there's professional respect, a lot of flirting and some good-natured teasing on Greg's part when Nick gets himself involved with one of his projects (trying and failing to save Kristi the Hooker from herself). In season two the flirting turns up a notch or two, and while Greg's a little distracted by Sara, by the end of the season ("Chasing the Bus", "Stalker") he's right back to metaphorically pulling Nick's pigtails.
The chemistry between the actors (who are very close in real life) grows as the series grows, and it can't help translating to the characters. By the end of season three, when Greg's caught in the lab explosion ("Play With Fire", 3.22), there's also a subtle change in his character - he becomes more serious, more determined to get out in the field and away from the lab, and Nick is arguably the most supportive of that goal throughout the series (he first mentions it in "Scooba Doobie Doo", 2.05, before Greg ever brings it up).
Once we get to the beginning of season four their relationship has gone from flirting and dancing around the idea of a relationship to a comfort level with one another that implies what they mean to each other. Nick's the person Greg goes to when he's allowed out in the field alone for the first time, and Nick sits in Greg's lab and smiles while Greg tells him all about it ("All For Our Country", 4.02). It's a natural, quiet progression - the kind of thing that happens in workplace romances every day - and that's what makes it so believable.
They're friends, and while that's always been my preferred archetype when falling for a new pairing, with Nick and Greg the evolution from friends to lovers is so clear and vivid and heartache-y that I can't imagine not writing them. I can't imagine ever giving them up, because no matter how many fics I write there's always more to their story. They're a normal couple dealing with all the normal, everyday problems, balancing work and romance and family and just being who they are together, and because of that there will always be more to tell.
There are a lot of people out there who just don't see what I see when they look at Nick and Greg. That's the reason they've remained such a tiny part of CSI fandom, and while I don't understand it, that's okay with me. It's okay with Nick and Greg, too, because in the end they're not in it for the glory. They're happy just living their lives together.
If you want to read more about why Nick and Greg work so well, allow me to suggest a few of my favorite fics:
Of Un-Being and Being by
foggynite. I don't recommend this because she's one of my favorite authors of all time. I rec it because it's the best Greg I've ever read.
Artificial Colour and the Art of Flavour by
nekosmuse. This was written for me so I might be a little biased, but it's a perfect example of how playful and sweet this pairing is even when they're being really hot.
Not Available by
ullman. Nick's practical and Greg's a drippy romantic. It's very short and just really sweet, but it's also a perfect example of how well their differences complement each other.
Starts With O by
justmightbe. Because she's Jane, and she gets Greg in a way few people do.
In the Uncertain Hour by
zoemargaret. Into every relationship a little sinus congestion must fall. In other words, a beautiful celebration of the ordinariness of their lives.
This Apocalypse Ain't Kind by
goldatamera. I rec this one because Lise's writing is so stunning; it's not the best intro to Nick/Greg just because the backdrop makes it a little harder for a newbie to the fandom to follow, but even so this fic captures who they are and how they interact in a way that blows me away every time.
For fanvids, be sure to check out
Striptease by
nekosmuse. (That and her other N/G vids can be found at that link).
And while you're at it, check out
Absolutely Zero by
kevinkr and his even more fabulous
Sunshine Superman. I have no idea how he does it, but it's brilliant.
Much, much more can be found at my Nick/Greg archive:
What Makes the Desert Beautiful. If you're looking for more photographic evidence,
be sure to check out the screen captures section of the site.
And if you want to read my fic, you can find it all
here.
LJ Comms:
nickngregcsi_slash