(no subject)
Well isn't it lovely how the worst things can happen at the worst times? yeah.... well its fucking great.
SO yeah, had been seeing this girl amy after fiona broke up with me, well it was great I was in the greatest mood I had been for the longest time, and things with fiona were good, albeit that we had broken up. THEN had the week from hell, I was busy as hell with school work, waking up at like 9am every morning and going straight to 10 or 12 at night and I had thought things with amy were going pretty good, little did I realize it, I was smothering her. I had thought that I was doing this but I went over a few nights that week and was like ok I cant stay over I'll have to go soon. and ended up staying the night..... cause she asked me to. Well that happening i thought things were going pretty good. so then i had to go home for the weekend, cousins wedding and best friends 21st birthday, i was somewhat looking foreward to it ..... but as the weekend grew near, i said no i dont wanna go home.
Well... should listened to myself. It ended up being a horrible weekend, i freaked out about all the stress i had with things getting worse with fiona, the stress from work and school and just everything. then i decided it would be good to talk w/ fiona..... wasnt got into another fight. havent talked since.
got back things looked pretty good, kinda busy with school and work. not too bad though.
then i was gonna hang out with amy tuesday night, didnt, was gonna hang out with her tonite. we did. ...
she just wasnt the same as when i had met her, just wasnt the same person towards me it seemed. and i knew when she said, lets hang out tuesday night and then made plans to hang out with her friends the same night after she planed to do something with us, i knew then. anything her and i had was done.
so felt kinda releaving at first and then just depressing. now im feeling like shit.
though the thought had crossed my mind to get back together with fiona, i just dont know anymore. hrmm maybe, hrmm who knows. im just scared i'll fall back and be like i was when i was with her before and things will go wrong again a few months down the road, and just the fear of feeling like shit scares me. i dont want that at all, at all.
Oh and on top of all this, finals start this saturday for me.
joy.
well i'll try fiona again. maybe she'll pick up. cause i realized today in psych, i think i was in love with her and still am.
sigh....... i love the events of life
SO yeah, had been seeing this girl amy after fiona broke up with me, well it was great I was in the greatest mood I had been for the longest time, and things with fiona were good, albeit that we had broken up. THEN had the week from hell, I was busy as hell with school work, waking up at like 9am every morning and going straight to 10 or 12 at night and I had thought things with amy were going pretty good, little did I realize it, I was smothering her. I had thought that I was doing this but I went over a few nights that week and was like ok I cant stay over I'll have to go soon. and ended up staying the night..... cause she asked me to. Well that happening i thought things were going pretty good. so then i had to go home for the weekend, cousins wedding and best friends 21st birthday, i was somewhat looking foreward to it ..... but as the weekend grew near, i said no i dont wanna go home.
Well... should listened to myself. It ended up being a horrible weekend, i freaked out about all the stress i had with things getting worse with fiona, the stress from work and school and just everything. then i decided it would be good to talk w/ fiona..... wasnt got into another fight. havent talked since.
got back things looked pretty good, kinda busy with school and work. not too bad though.
then i was gonna hang out with amy tuesday night, didnt, was gonna hang out with her tonite. we did. ...
she just wasnt the same as when i had met her, just wasnt the same person towards me it seemed. and i knew when she said, lets hang out tuesday night and then made plans to hang out with her friends the same night after she planed to do something with us, i knew then. anything her and i had was done.
so felt kinda releaving at first and then just depressing. now im feeling like shit.
though the thought had crossed my mind to get back together with fiona, i just dont know anymore. hrmm maybe, hrmm who knows. im just scared i'll fall back and be like i was when i was with her before and things will go wrong again a few months down the road, and just the fear of feeling like shit scares me. i dont want that at all, at all.
Oh and on top of all this, finals start this saturday for me.
joy.
well i'll try fiona again. maybe she'll pick up. cause i realized today in psych, i think i was in love with her and still am.
sigh....... i love the events of life