What I'm dealing with
I hate my life.
I feel like I can't be salvaged. I don't have any friends. The ones I do have aren't close or are leaving. My family consists of a father who goes out of his way to put me down, brothers who don't give a damn about me, and a mother who, while always here for me, loves any chance to dig into me.
I'm not myself. I've been drinking after pledging sobriety for life. I've become the other man in someone's relationship. I haven't been able to cry in months. I'm failing and not going to classes again. I'm not exercising anymore. I've lost my morals, my integrity, and my passion. I hate who I am.
I can't stop thinking about Lyndsey and how she probably doesn't care. I miss my dog more than anyone can ever know. I'm pretty sure my granny doesn't have much longer. My mom's sick and will probably be in the hospital soon enough. I tried to kill myself tonight, but the train stopped.
I don't know what the future holds. I don't know what I want to do or where I want to go. I have no money, no job, but I have tons of debt. I have lost desire to do anything. I'm unable to do things by myself anymore.
I have a couple of chances and a few things to see about. But if things don't get better and soon, I don't think I'll walk away from the train next time.
I feel like I can't be salvaged. I don't have any friends. The ones I do have aren't close or are leaving. My family consists of a father who goes out of his way to put me down, brothers who don't give a damn about me, and a mother who, while always here for me, loves any chance to dig into me.
I'm not myself. I've been drinking after pledging sobriety for life. I've become the other man in someone's relationship. I haven't been able to cry in months. I'm failing and not going to classes again. I'm not exercising anymore. I've lost my morals, my integrity, and my passion. I hate who I am.
I can't stop thinking about Lyndsey and how she probably doesn't care. I miss my dog more than anyone can ever know. I'm pretty sure my granny doesn't have much longer. My mom's sick and will probably be in the hospital soon enough. I tried to kill myself tonight, but the train stopped.
I don't know what the future holds. I don't know what I want to do or where I want to go. I have no money, no job, but I have tons of debt. I have lost desire to do anything. I'm unable to do things by myself anymore.
I have a couple of chances and a few things to see about. But if things don't get better and soon, I don't think I'll walk away from the train next time.