(no subject)
I still miss the old lj layout, the one that wasn't so annoying.
Had the three teeth pulled out this morning. Dread, dread all weekend. So it goes.
It was quite unpleasant. Local anaesthetic so no pain during, but this really unpleasant pressure sensation as the oral surgeon guy pulled, and two of the teeth started snapping apart in peices and every time I heard it happening, so unpleasant. The second molar they ended up having to like saw apart the roots to get them out because the top just snapped off. My jaw starting locking up a lot by the third tooth again, because yeah apparently the lockjaw is just a thing with me sometimes, and even keeping mouth open bare minimum amount was painful.
The teeth did look pretty interesting to examine once out, minus the one that was totally in fragments by that point.
And now I have three gaping holes in my gums, and my mouth tastes like blood all day. They prescribed me vicodin, which is effective for pain but makes me super nauseated. At least this opiate doesn't make me super itchy I guess. This of course confirming once again that i will never get what people see in using opiate painkillers recreationally, because for me the experience is unpleasant side effects more than anything else. But it does do what it is supposed to, so I've decided to try taking it in half-doses supplemented with trusty old ibuprofen hopefully an acceptable medium between annoying levels of pain and annoying levels of nausea.
Liquid diet is the plan for the foreseeable future, more or less. I can eat soy yogurt and cream of wheat/oatmeal without it being too annoying, but the thought of nothing but that makes is like, eh, better to stick to liquids and resort to that when needed to stave off too overwhelming hunger symptoms. A part of this is just me being too pissed off with life to give a fuck but its a situationally convenient form of self-destructiveness. I might pick up some of those gross and over-priced vegan nutrition shake powder packets in whole foods later this week, because i do need to strike some kind of comprimise with getting enough calories/nutrition to have the energy to do the basic things I need to do, and hunger past a certain point becomes too distracting. Better this way, no need to try to chew and no risk of needing to puke whatever i might try to eat anyway because that would surely not be good for the healing of the gaping holes in my mouth.
I kind of had this vague sort of last minute notion of trying to eat something other than my same few frozen samosa wrap/luna bar/soy yogurt safe foods at some point during the weekend, but that didn't happen because i am too lazy to cook and its too much effort to figure out and go out somewhere and really, a silly notion. What difference does it make.
Teeth ripped out anyway, and its a good think I'm not the smiley type then isn't it. If it were possible to function at an acceptable level living off of vegan nutrition shakes and caffeinated beverages that actually might be ideal. Just divorce myself completely from the notion of food being anything other than fuel to function enough, and tasty interesting things are for other people, real people, people who aren't this self-destructive and nuts. Will see, its always been the annoying lack of energy and too distracting hunger that made this kind of thought not work out in the past, but now that eating the things i'm ok with eating (luna bars especially) is physically not worth the discomfort and annoyance for the near future, maybe I can figure out a way around those obstacles. If I'm not buying most of the other food stuff I usually pick up, perhaps over-priced shake stuff will actually be cost-effective.
Why am I still alive? There really isn't a good answer for that, I suppose, except...soon, soon but not yet.
Had the three teeth pulled out this morning. Dread, dread all weekend. So it goes.
It was quite unpleasant. Local anaesthetic so no pain during, but this really unpleasant pressure sensation as the oral surgeon guy pulled, and two of the teeth started snapping apart in peices and every time I heard it happening, so unpleasant. The second molar they ended up having to like saw apart the roots to get them out because the top just snapped off. My jaw starting locking up a lot by the third tooth again, because yeah apparently the lockjaw is just a thing with me sometimes, and even keeping mouth open bare minimum amount was painful.
The teeth did look pretty interesting to examine once out, minus the one that was totally in fragments by that point.
And now I have three gaping holes in my gums, and my mouth tastes like blood all day. They prescribed me vicodin, which is effective for pain but makes me super nauseated. At least this opiate doesn't make me super itchy I guess. This of course confirming once again that i will never get what people see in using opiate painkillers recreationally, because for me the experience is unpleasant side effects more than anything else. But it does do what it is supposed to, so I've decided to try taking it in half-doses supplemented with trusty old ibuprofen hopefully an acceptable medium between annoying levels of pain and annoying levels of nausea.
Liquid diet is the plan for the foreseeable future, more or less. I can eat soy yogurt and cream of wheat/oatmeal without it being too annoying, but the thought of nothing but that makes is like, eh, better to stick to liquids and resort to that when needed to stave off too overwhelming hunger symptoms. A part of this is just me being too pissed off with life to give a fuck but its a situationally convenient form of self-destructiveness. I might pick up some of those gross and over-priced vegan nutrition shake powder packets in whole foods later this week, because i do need to strike some kind of comprimise with getting enough calories/nutrition to have the energy to do the basic things I need to do, and hunger past a certain point becomes too distracting. Better this way, no need to try to chew and no risk of needing to puke whatever i might try to eat anyway because that would surely not be good for the healing of the gaping holes in my mouth.
I kind of had this vague sort of last minute notion of trying to eat something other than my same few frozen samosa wrap/luna bar/soy yogurt safe foods at some point during the weekend, but that didn't happen because i am too lazy to cook and its too much effort to figure out and go out somewhere and really, a silly notion. What difference does it make.
Teeth ripped out anyway, and its a good think I'm not the smiley type then isn't it. If it were possible to function at an acceptable level living off of vegan nutrition shakes and caffeinated beverages that actually might be ideal. Just divorce myself completely from the notion of food being anything other than fuel to function enough, and tasty interesting things are for other people, real people, people who aren't this self-destructive and nuts. Will see, its always been the annoying lack of energy and too distracting hunger that made this kind of thought not work out in the past, but now that eating the things i'm ok with eating (luna bars especially) is physically not worth the discomfort and annoyance for the near future, maybe I can figure out a way around those obstacles. If I'm not buying most of the other food stuff I usually pick up, perhaps over-priced shake stuff will actually be cost-effective.
Why am I still alive? There really isn't a good answer for that, I suppose, except...soon, soon but not yet.