World History
World History as written by James
A long time ago, Earth technology finally advanced far enough along to sustain life on a few other planets. With this vital tech in the hands of governments humanity did what it always did when new lands became available. Humanity started to expand. The first planet colonized as part of a joint mission of the Combined Global Space Program (whose origins are obscured by bureaucracy but is known to have consisted of Russias’, USA’s, China’s, and Japan’s greatest astrophysicists but was based in Australia) was Mars. Sadly, there were no aliens on Mars, but there WAS water.
Thus Mars was colonized after being used as a guinea-planet for artificially-created gravity, atmosphere creators, and a few other things which failed horribly. (The dark side of mars is still uninhabitable thanks to one such device, who properties were lost when it’s fail-safe failed and took out all the scientist working on, the military base and the whole side of the planet. Luckily the artificial-gravity well allowed the planet to stay in geosynchronous orbit and not come crashing horribly into earth. Some work has been made into the reconstruction of the dark side of mars, but the reconstruction crew can only work there for three months before their hair starts to fall out, skin breaks out in fish scales, and they start delving deeply into madness. It’s still only the second worst disaster in human science advancement, the first being the utter destruction of Uranus. Insert horrible joke or innuendo here.)Human technology did not stagnant after these amazing advances were proven safe and not just the fanciful dreaming of mad men and politicians; instead it continued to grow in leaps, bounds and explosions. Many, many explosions; and small fires, normally made of the notes of scientist whose experiments failed horribly . . . many, many small fires. But all these small setbacks, large explosions and ever larger piles of paperwork were shoved aside by paper-shy, possibly illiterate politicians who instead focused on the good advancements, like a horse with blinders, holding up Mars as an example of future. (While very quietly never mentioning the dark side. Possibly paying off any reporters who even thought about bringing it up as a matter of fact, because every knows that Mars was a resounding success, and who cares that it has no rotation anymore; that’s what artificial gravity is for and my hasn’t it worked fabulously. And no, there are no hidden bunkers on earth for those poor souls who vanished after working on the dark side, which is perfectly alright, thank you very much. The very idea is preposterous, possibly treasonous.) One such advance allowed human to realize that we are not alone, and that aliens were closer than anyone had ever dreamed. . .
They, in fact, lived on Venus and were not little green men. Try large red-yellow slug like beings. The atmosphere of Venus, the swirling cloud of death that it is? Yeah, not naturally made, or at least, only mostly naturally made. Made through a very natural act at the very least. The less said the better at this point I think. Through those beings humanity was finally introduce to an entire universe full of advanced life forms; to the joy of every nerd, geek, sci-fi junkie, biologist, astrophysicist, alien believer and paranoid schizophrenic’s everywhere and the utter horror of most organized religions (except Scientologists), military generals, rednecks, frat boys, racists, communists, and rabbits. Because rabbits are scared of everything. Suddenly finding out that earth wasn’t the only thing out there, Politicians also worried a bit, mostly behind closed doors and after having a few drinks they would start lamenting and cursing scientist they themselves had funded. Of course, the biggest change was the realization that now that there were other species out there, that they needed someone, or rather some group to represent humanity as a whole. Psychologist and political science majors settled back to watch the sparks fly as every leader of every single country rallied to be the One leader of earth. Everyone was rather shocked when, after the dust had cleared, the diplomatic incidents cleared up, and the blood bleached off the nice tile flooring that Australia was the winner of this particular political bloodbath scramble. Considering that everything is Australia is actively or passively trying to kill you in one way or another, one thinks they shouldn’t have been so surprised. With Australia as the home base of the new World Government humans could finally interact with the newly discovered (to us) advanced life forms without stepping on each other’s toes or starting a war. (Now, that’s not to say that some shady deals were made behind Australia back, but the country responsible soon found poisonous spiders everywhere, dingo’s howling outside their room, and the leader of Australia and the new government always smiling quietly and politely when they met with him. Everywhere they met with him. Even by chance. And he smiled at them, only them, with a faintly baffled expression. Enough to drive a man to drink, or to quietly call up the space-pirate leader of those few hundred spaceship poised to strike Australia only to find that they have already fled in terror and that no you can keep the money, but please don’t contact us again ever. In fact loose this number thank you so much.)
It is several centuries after those few and rather tense decades of integration but humanity is no longer cut off from the rest of the universe in our sparsely-populated galaxy. Humans now have a say in the politics of the universe, technology levels have soared to new heights, and even some of humanity technology has helped our Alien allies reach new heights in advancement as well. (See? We are not totally backward mud-apes, we actually have enough imagination to outsmart some of the smartest alien races currently in existence. Of course this is because we think sideways to their linear, but that hardly matters. Much. Those spiral thinkers can really catch us in the upwards direction if we aren’t careful though. This mutual exchange of learning bettered everyone, and made humans much more aware as a single race. That race being human, and the nationality Australian. Vaguely Australian. Though most of the Earth languages are still around, weird local custom are still being kept, and speciesism is raging as humans have stopped judging people by only the color of their skin and have moved on to number of limbs, composition of your body, and your fashion sense.
This is the world, the world of the future with flying cars, giant robots, man-made planets, extra-terrestrial fuel sources, and space station ‘pit-stops’, malls and diners.
Earth is now just one of many places humans live. It holds the government seat, and is the place where all technology is developed. There are places scattered around that do research and build weapons and technology but every blueprint and plan is made on earth. Well, almost every. There are a few exceptions and special permits given out to exceptional inventors, and a few more operating illegally, or as political refugees. Those humans living on earth are either the very rich or the very poor. Areas in each country are designated ghettos; some have larger ones where the poor who were overflowing smaller ghettos are transported to. But there is hope, and the poor of now are better off than the poor of the past. Everyone is vaccinated against disease and has access to healthcare. Universal hearing translators are surgically implanted when the child enters school. Universal visual translators are optional and can only be implanted after the age of 25. The school systems are made to help those who are bright get ahead in life, and those who are not are shown to menial work that everyone needs done. Every home has free access to the Univernet (Universal internet) and at least two computers. Most people born on Earth end up off-world, but there are old families who always have someone living on earth. Generally the only aliens on earth are the diplomats and their retainers, except if there is an intergalactic event on Earth. Then hundreds of thousands of aliens flock to earth, but they tend to stay on Mars or the Moon and are shuttled to earth for the event. It’s not speciesism, but the fact that not all aliens can live on earth safely, and those who can tend to stick to home. There are no laws preventing aliens from moving to earth, but not many do. If the poor of earth go off-world for jobs, then enterprising aliens aren’t likely to find work on earth either. Now many aliens work on earth-owned man-made planets, space stations, and the like. Humans are one of the most prolific builders in the universe, alongside the Greetiw’s and Iso’s.
Earth is not a perfect place, just like humans are not a perfect race, and even the wonders of meeting aliens cannot change basic human nature. Perhaps after a few more centuries human will become wonderful beings with no poverty or ego but that seems unlikely. Most aliens are just as stupid, selfish and egotistical as humans; some are even worse.
It is not a perfect world full of profound understanding, peace and adorable tiny kittens (though, yes, there are still kittens. What kind of monstrous world do you think this is?). As new players in the universal field humans have been caught up in intergalactic wars that have been going on for ages. There is little they can do except muddle through new and complex relationship that make up the universe, and hope to keep the peace and protect their planet. Luckily no invasions have happened, thanks to Australia’s mysterious terror inducing thing earth’s strong military presence, and affection for big weapons that will destroy your fleet, your world and your entire species if you don’t stop with that foolish blockage you numbskulls.
Almost every planet and nearly all planetary systems have their own police force and military, Earth is no exception. The military is defined as those who fight enemies off world (space pirates, hostile alien species who hate everyone and want these damn kids off their intergalactic yard, and those few odd living black holes. Not that anyone can fight them, but you can draw them off with the promise of a fresh new solar system with plenty of people to eat, planets to destroy and lifelong enmity to receive. Black holes like that kind of thing.) and those enemies on world who threaten a planets political stability (i.e. Anyone who has an idea that doesn’t jive with current political leanings and has too much money to quietly kill, plus or minus a whole country under their control). The police forces are defined as those who work to keep the peace at home and pursue those crimes that happen in their planetary system. On Earth the police force is divided by continent and then further divided up into sectors. However the basic training is the same for the continent, with North America having the shortest training to detective and Australia having the longest. The rest are in-between. Off world, policing is undivided on the space stations, or divinded by continents on man-made planets. Training varies all over the place depending on the complexity of the population mix. Overseeing every police force is the Intergalactic Law and Justice Force (ILJF) whose main objective is dealing with delicate cases whose investigation may lead to peace destabilization diplomatic incidents which in turn could spark galaxy-wide wars and skirmishes.
The ILJF is nearly powerless because they must be impartial and keep above personal politics, and yet their influence is greatly controlled by politics. The extent of their legal power is dependent upon what system the force members are working in, and which direction the current intergalactic politics are leaning. By universal agreement the ILJF’s numbers are kept small and spread out (to prevent a disastrous coup) so each branch finds themselves calling upon outside professional experts for extra tasks and abilities that are beyond the normal yet varied skill set working for the ILJF provides.
The Intergalactic Law and Justice Force try hard to restore and keep the peace, but there are limits to what it can do and every incident is unique. Politics can freeze important investigations, dismiss high profile suspects and let proven killers roam free. Few humans have entered the prestigious ranks of the ILJF, but there are many human experts that work on a consultant basis.
Humans have spread out in professions that span the universe, some beyond the scope of normal human jobs, others eerily alike. There is very little difference between a sheep herder and a Hyop herder except with sheep, you’re less likely to spontaneously burst into flames or get bitten; but there is a huge difference between computer repair and Iso repair. For one thing, Iso’s are sentient and can kill you with their mind. Even future computers can’t do that. One thing that has changed a lot while remaining eerily similar is warfare. How much can killing other people/creatures change over the centuries after all? All you need is something that is either really sharp, really fast, really heavy or really explosive. However even our inventive race is hard-pressed to learn quickly enough to survive the knotted and tangled mess that makes up intergalactic politics. Not to mention all the unique biochemistries making general weapons harder to make lethal/painful to many species.) As humans and Aliens mix a few questions rise in the minds of those who are able to look at the greater picture; was it possible that the Earth had been cut off from the universe for this very reason? To preserve humanity?
There is no satisfactory answer yet. . .
A long time ago, Earth technology finally advanced far enough along to sustain life on a few other planets. With this vital tech in the hands of governments humanity did what it always did when new lands became available. Humanity started to expand. The first planet colonized as part of a joint mission of the Combined Global Space Program (whose origins are obscured by bureaucracy but is known to have consisted of Russias’, USA’s, China’s, and Japan’s greatest astrophysicists but was based in Australia) was Mars. Sadly, there were no aliens on Mars, but there WAS water.
Thus Mars was colonized after being used as a guinea-planet for artificially-created gravity, atmosphere creators, and a few other things which failed horribly. (The dark side of mars is still uninhabitable thanks to one such device, who properties were lost when it’s fail-safe failed and took out all the scientist working on, the military base and the whole side of the planet. Luckily the artificial-gravity well allowed the planet to stay in geosynchronous orbit and not come crashing horribly into earth. Some work has been made into the reconstruction of the dark side of mars, but the reconstruction crew can only work there for three months before their hair starts to fall out, skin breaks out in fish scales, and they start delving deeply into madness. It’s still only the second worst disaster in human science advancement, the first being the utter destruction of Uranus. Insert horrible joke or innuendo here.)Human technology did not stagnant after these amazing advances were proven safe and not just the fanciful dreaming of mad men and politicians; instead it continued to grow in leaps, bounds and explosions. Many, many explosions; and small fires, normally made of the notes of scientist whose experiments failed horribly . . . many, many small fires. But all these small setbacks, large explosions and ever larger piles of paperwork were shoved aside by paper-shy, possibly illiterate politicians who instead focused on the good advancements, like a horse with blinders, holding up Mars as an example of future. (While very quietly never mentioning the dark side. Possibly paying off any reporters who even thought about bringing it up as a matter of fact, because every knows that Mars was a resounding success, and who cares that it has no rotation anymore; that’s what artificial gravity is for and my hasn’t it worked fabulously. And no, there are no hidden bunkers on earth for those poor souls who vanished after working on the dark side, which is perfectly alright, thank you very much. The very idea is preposterous, possibly treasonous.) One such advance allowed human to realize that we are not alone, and that aliens were closer than anyone had ever dreamed. . .
They, in fact, lived on Venus and were not little green men. Try large red-yellow slug like beings. The atmosphere of Venus, the swirling cloud of death that it is? Yeah, not naturally made, or at least, only mostly naturally made. Made through a very natural act at the very least. The less said the better at this point I think. Through those beings humanity was finally introduce to an entire universe full of advanced life forms; to the joy of every nerd, geek, sci-fi junkie, biologist, astrophysicist, alien believer and paranoid schizophrenic’s everywhere and the utter horror of most organized religions (except Scientologists), military generals, rednecks, frat boys, racists, communists, and rabbits. Because rabbits are scared of everything. Suddenly finding out that earth wasn’t the only thing out there, Politicians also worried a bit, mostly behind closed doors and after having a few drinks they would start lamenting and cursing scientist they themselves had funded. Of course, the biggest change was the realization that now that there were other species out there, that they needed someone, or rather some group to represent humanity as a whole. Psychologist and political science majors settled back to watch the sparks fly as every leader of every single country rallied to be the One leader of earth. Everyone was rather shocked when, after the dust had cleared, the diplomatic incidents cleared up, and the blood bleached off the nice tile flooring that Australia was the winner of this particular political bloodbath scramble. Considering that everything is Australia is actively or passively trying to kill you in one way or another, one thinks they shouldn’t have been so surprised. With Australia as the home base of the new World Government humans could finally interact with the newly discovered (to us) advanced life forms without stepping on each other’s toes or starting a war. (Now, that’s not to say that some shady deals were made behind Australia back, but the country responsible soon found poisonous spiders everywhere, dingo’s howling outside their room, and the leader of Australia and the new government always smiling quietly and politely when they met with him. Everywhere they met with him. Even by chance. And he smiled at them, only them, with a faintly baffled expression. Enough to drive a man to drink, or to quietly call up the space-pirate leader of those few hundred spaceship poised to strike Australia only to find that they have already fled in terror and that no you can keep the money, but please don’t contact us again ever. In fact loose this number thank you so much.)
It is several centuries after those few and rather tense decades of integration but humanity is no longer cut off from the rest of the universe in our sparsely-populated galaxy. Humans now have a say in the politics of the universe, technology levels have soared to new heights, and even some of humanity technology has helped our Alien allies reach new heights in advancement as well. (See? We are not totally backward mud-apes, we actually have enough imagination to outsmart some of the smartest alien races currently in existence. Of course this is because we think sideways to their linear, but that hardly matters. Much. Those spiral thinkers can really catch us in the upwards direction if we aren’t careful though. This mutual exchange of learning bettered everyone, and made humans much more aware as a single race. That race being human, and the nationality Australian. Vaguely Australian. Though most of the Earth languages are still around, weird local custom are still being kept, and speciesism is raging as humans have stopped judging people by only the color of their skin and have moved on to number of limbs, composition of your body, and your fashion sense.
This is the world, the world of the future with flying cars, giant robots, man-made planets, extra-terrestrial fuel sources, and space station ‘pit-stops’, malls and diners.
Earth is now just one of many places humans live. It holds the government seat, and is the place where all technology is developed. There are places scattered around that do research and build weapons and technology but every blueprint and plan is made on earth. Well, almost every. There are a few exceptions and special permits given out to exceptional inventors, and a few more operating illegally, or as political refugees. Those humans living on earth are either the very rich or the very poor. Areas in each country are designated ghettos; some have larger ones where the poor who were overflowing smaller ghettos are transported to. But there is hope, and the poor of now are better off than the poor of the past. Everyone is vaccinated against disease and has access to healthcare. Universal hearing translators are surgically implanted when the child enters school. Universal visual translators are optional and can only be implanted after the age of 25. The school systems are made to help those who are bright get ahead in life, and those who are not are shown to menial work that everyone needs done. Every home has free access to the Univernet (Universal internet) and at least two computers. Most people born on Earth end up off-world, but there are old families who always have someone living on earth. Generally the only aliens on earth are the diplomats and their retainers, except if there is an intergalactic event on Earth. Then hundreds of thousands of aliens flock to earth, but they tend to stay on Mars or the Moon and are shuttled to earth for the event. It’s not speciesism, but the fact that not all aliens can live on earth safely, and those who can tend to stick to home. There are no laws preventing aliens from moving to earth, but not many do. If the poor of earth go off-world for jobs, then enterprising aliens aren’t likely to find work on earth either. Now many aliens work on earth-owned man-made planets, space stations, and the like. Humans are one of the most prolific builders in the universe, alongside the Greetiw’s and Iso’s.
Earth is not a perfect place, just like humans are not a perfect race, and even the wonders of meeting aliens cannot change basic human nature. Perhaps after a few more centuries human will become wonderful beings with no poverty or ego but that seems unlikely. Most aliens are just as stupid, selfish and egotistical as humans; some are even worse.
It is not a perfect world full of profound understanding, peace and adorable tiny kittens (though, yes, there are still kittens. What kind of monstrous world do you think this is?). As new players in the universal field humans have been caught up in intergalactic wars that have been going on for ages. There is little they can do except muddle through new and complex relationship that make up the universe, and hope to keep the peace and protect their planet. Luckily no invasions have happened, thanks to Australia’s mysterious terror inducing thing earth’s strong military presence, and affection for big weapons that will destroy your fleet, your world and your entire species if you don’t stop with that foolish blockage you numbskulls.
Almost every planet and nearly all planetary systems have their own police force and military, Earth is no exception. The military is defined as those who fight enemies off world (space pirates, hostile alien species who hate everyone and want these damn kids off their intergalactic yard, and those few odd living black holes. Not that anyone can fight them, but you can draw them off with the promise of a fresh new solar system with plenty of people to eat, planets to destroy and lifelong enmity to receive. Black holes like that kind of thing.) and those enemies on world who threaten a planets political stability (i.e. Anyone who has an idea that doesn’t jive with current political leanings and has too much money to quietly kill, plus or minus a whole country under their control). The police forces are defined as those who work to keep the peace at home and pursue those crimes that happen in their planetary system. On Earth the police force is divided by continent and then further divided up into sectors. However the basic training is the same for the continent, with North America having the shortest training to detective and Australia having the longest. The rest are in-between. Off world, policing is undivided on the space stations, or divinded by continents on man-made planets. Training varies all over the place depending on the complexity of the population mix. Overseeing every police force is the Intergalactic Law and Justice Force (ILJF) whose main objective is dealing with delicate cases whose investigation may lead to peace destabilization diplomatic incidents which in turn could spark galaxy-wide wars and skirmishes.
The ILJF is nearly powerless because they must be impartial and keep above personal politics, and yet their influence is greatly controlled by politics. The extent of their legal power is dependent upon what system the force members are working in, and which direction the current intergalactic politics are leaning. By universal agreement the ILJF’s numbers are kept small and spread out (to prevent a disastrous coup) so each branch finds themselves calling upon outside professional experts for extra tasks and abilities that are beyond the normal yet varied skill set working for the ILJF provides.
The Intergalactic Law and Justice Force try hard to restore and keep the peace, but there are limits to what it can do and every incident is unique. Politics can freeze important investigations, dismiss high profile suspects and let proven killers roam free. Few humans have entered the prestigious ranks of the ILJF, but there are many human experts that work on a consultant basis.
Humans have spread out in professions that span the universe, some beyond the scope of normal human jobs, others eerily alike. There is very little difference between a sheep herder and a Hyop herder except with sheep, you’re less likely to spontaneously burst into flames or get bitten; but there is a huge difference between computer repair and Iso repair. For one thing, Iso’s are sentient and can kill you with their mind. Even future computers can’t do that. One thing that has changed a lot while remaining eerily similar is warfare. How much can killing other people/creatures change over the centuries after all? All you need is something that is either really sharp, really fast, really heavy or really explosive. However even our inventive race is hard-pressed to learn quickly enough to survive the knotted and tangled mess that makes up intergalactic politics. Not to mention all the unique biochemistries making general weapons harder to make lethal/painful to many species.) As humans and Aliens mix a few questions rise in the minds of those who are able to look at the greater picture; was it possible that the Earth had been cut off from the universe for this very reason? To preserve humanity?
There is no satisfactory answer yet. . .