(no subject)
i am lonely... i don't know why.... i am social... i hang out with justin, i've met alot of his friends, and i talk to my friends online and on the phone all the time... so why do i feel so alone? I don't get it.... i know i'm still depressed, but i'm good at hiding it... I have no job yet, i am sleeping when it 'fits my schedule' which means that i crash when i just can't stay up any longer... I keep telling myself that it'll change when i find a job and get into a routine, but will it? All i really want is just to find someone to make me feel loved. Don't get me wrong.. i know my friends and family love me, but its just not the same... Everyday i hear my brother talking to his girlfriend, and i remember when i had something like that.... i had someone i could call and say "I love you" to... someone i knew i would talk to every single day... a person that i knew was always thinking about me, and that i was always thinking about. I know i sound all mopey and over-dramatic and all that... but why can't i have that? Do i not deserve it? .................. i'm just at a loss for words right now.... .. i guess thats it for this entry....